Husbands and Horses !

[limepickle]

After analysing my finances under a microscope to see whether we could afford a horse I have come to the conclusion that its a Yes!!! However, DH doesn't think that I will have enough spare time to look after one ( I work part-ime and have two young ( 5 and 8 ) children.
So...
How have other people persuaded their OH's that they could manage one ?
Do people have, err, "discussions" about how much time they take up ?

I was hoping to get a horse that would live out and therefore be less time-intensive, but do realise that they need daily care and or course, attention.

All suggestions greatfully received - I was hoping to go and look at a horse this weekend but at the moment I don't feel as though I can

are you keeping it at a livery yard? If so that will take up more time drinking coffee and bitching than actually looking after the horse lol

how many hours part time do you work?

Try getting up at 5am and going straight out, standing outside for an hour or two sweeping the garden and reorganising the garage before coming back and making breakfast every day until february. That would be quite good evidence lol

Do you have land or a livery that will let you keep a horse out all winter? Generally livery yards want them in at night at least. Wrt your dh could you explain that horses are much cheaper now than in the spring? Have you worked out when you can ride etc free from the dc?

How would your dh handle it if he had a hobby he wanted to take up? Would he seek your permission or go ahead, how much would depend on cost/time implications?

I already had horses when I met my husband so he had no choice in the matter. When children came a long he was quite happy to muck in and helpout as much as possible.
He is not a bit horsey but likes the out doors life style and loves coming to competitions and driving the big wagon.

He now mucks out for me Monday to Friday whilst I look after the kids on a morning. It was his choice kids or horses. he chose the horse -

Wow thanks for the replies !
Lol @ deardear - I had heard !

marge2 - I work 24 hours a week - Friday is my day off with no dcs. Most Weds I would have a couple of hours with no kids too. Then thought I would ride both days at the weekend. Well that would be the plan during the winter and in the summer I imagine it only gets easier.

missingfriends - hmm, I think you may have a point - I can generally "do" mornings ( at least better than I can evenings!)

Low reg - I don't think the money is the point. He does football (although not as much as does) - but that takes up half the day at the weekend, plus a full evening too. Og and he sometime sgoes mountain biking at 8am ona Sat morning. Not sure what he would do if he wanted to take up anything else...
I didn't realise that 24hr turnout would be a problem....I can understand the effect it has on the ground but do know of place local to us (North East Hampshire) that do allow it.

Maybe I need to share and then loan a horse first - although then you don't have the choice over type of horse and what you can do with it

I told DH that it would be a good idea to buy a pony after the dds riding lessons were totalling £200 a month.I'd already spoken to my neighbour about renting his yard,a 2 minute walk from the house and DH thought it was a good idea [because I'd sorted everything out and no input was required from him].Dpony lives out,so no mucking out,I poo pick if my neighbour hasn't beaten me too it,DH did it once,this past weekend and was very proud of himself.

I work 9-3 Mon to Thurs and have Friday off,I'm self employed so can get back for dentist/farrier visits.The dds normally ride 6 days a week,although we are struggling with the dark evenings and Christmas events taking up time at the minute.The only thing DH moans about is that dpony gets better treatment than he does,her tea is done before anyone else,she has her back done,dentist ect and he caught me using talc on her last week [to cover the grass stains] which he though was hilarious.

Things have spiralled though,we've had private lessons, PC membership,I've bought a trailer and after Christmas,will have to change my car to something that will tow.We are in the process of trying a loan pony for DD2,and DH said today that he thinks DD1 at least will be in it for the long haul and will want something faster and with a bigger jump before long.In our case,I think things will only get more expensive and time consuming,but they love it so much it is worth it.

This time of year is probably the worst time of year to get a horse. You get all the misery, dark and cold of the winter with few rewards as the bad weather may mean you can't ride very often. I would seriously consider waiting until summer. Getting used to a new horse is always easier when the sun is shinning as well and then you know the horse a bit better when he gets a bit livelier in the rain/cold.

Regarding the DH it depends on how accommodating he would be willing to be. There will certainly be times when your farrier will be running 2 hours late or you're stuck at the yard with a sick horse when your OH will need to step up. Also if you are feeling a bit poorly or are away for work or unavailable, will DH be willing to pitch in? In good weather the kids might enjoy helping out (although make sure your yard allows children, some have an adults only policy), but in the cold and rain they may refuse to come with you so DH would need to babysit. If you have the horse on full DIY you would need to check on him twice a day, unless you could share duties with someone else on your yard, adn you would need to be present for the farrier (every 6-8 weeks), dentist (once or twice a year), vet (vacs and emergencies).

If you'd asked me last year I'd have said go for it-you know what time you've got. But DD's pony and mine are nothing more than expensive field ornaments ATM.......and it's so depressing. This time last year I had time (working 12-16 hours), but our business has changed and I now don't have the time (working 20+ hours). They live out 24 / 7 without rugs. I go up once a day {shock} and that one visit takes 1 1/2 hours......and I don't even "do" anything with them {sad} I feed, give them hay, check their fence and water, poo-pick and give them a once over. If they are lucky they get a scratch behind the ears. This time of year time is so limited........if something doesn't happen when it's supposed to everything else suffers. Last week I finally managed to find half an hour for a plod around "the block". After I'd spent what seemed like hours grooming a filthy pony (and that was just the vital bits-saddle area and around the face) I tacked him up only to discover that 2 weeks of no riding had made him too wide for his saddle {confused} So no ride, no time for poo-picking that day, and an even more depressing situation.
This all sounds very negative, I'm afraid, but that's winter.
I bought both ponies with living out 24 / 7 in mind. It has it's benefits, in that you are more flexible about when you need to see to them. It doesn't mean less time commitment. In fact, with field care and worrying about the weather, making sure their water isn't frozen, rebuilding electric fencing everyday it seems I'm there more than the other liveries whose horses are in over night {confused}
However.......summer is different all together. You can ride in the evenings, grooming isn't such a chore........bliss.
You may well be starting off at the right time of year. If you can make it through winter without being consumed with guilt you can do it! Can you look for a LWVTB?
Before people slate me about 1 visit per day I know it's not ideal, but the yard owner is there all day and other liveries are coming and going all day. I know that if anybody spotted anything they'd let me know / sort it out.
I can't wait for summer {grin}

Well, mine is a vet, so ..... :o

I have recently started a blog on the daily life of 2 dcs and 2horses if you want a read [email protected] (i think :o )

I have mine on full livery although we are supposed to bring them in of an evening, but we generally work on a rota or tbh, either my husband or I want to get out of the house for half an hour.

The livery is 260 a month and in the winter it's an extra 30 a month to get someone to put her out/in mon-fri. Tbh I'd spend more than that 30 in petrol alone so well worth it.

I've done DIY in the past (had them at home) and found it cheaper by a few quid - and a whole lot more stress and I could never just go away for the weekend or on holiday without it being a bloody massive drama.

I'm pregnant right now with my second and I can't wait to start riding again in March - but I'm not sure where I'll find the time. I'm very lucky my husband works part-time and is a very 'hands-on' dad.

maybe part livery would help with time, i get mine turned out in mornings to save me time as getting the kids ready for school other wise it just wouldn't work for us as i would be always rushed.
you could have the yard doing a mix of morning and evening chores to help with time.

Winter is always hard with the short daylight. I'd wait until Spring before getting a horse if I was you OP.

However I would go for it if you can afford it. We have a good system. I check the horses and walk the dog first thing whilst DW gets DD ready for school. In the Summer this is just a quick check but now it means turning them out, topping waters etc. She finishes work at 2pm so gets stables ready (we've only 3 animals now) before picking DD up (she is 8) and then they get them in together with DD leading Sec A and DW leading Sec B and Connemara.

They don't ride in the week in the Winter, unfortunately, but all three get ridden both days at the weekend and they rode on a 12k EGB pleasure ride this morning which was a great success.

Things will get tougher when I get a new horse but I'll wait until the Spring. Just takes planning and dedication.

Some good ideas there
I think some kind of help is going to be needed, at least during the winter, so will take a look at that locally and see what's offered. Would of course be willing to help other owners out too. Maybe if DH knew that there are options in terms of getting other people to look after it, then he would feel better about it.

mirage I think if the DDs were madly into horses then it would be different. Girsl do ride but don't have that desparation to be with horses that I had as a child ( and probablys till have). I do think they would be happy coming to the stables, espec if there were other children around, and of course they would be able to walk around on DPony too.

Butkin I think you're right about the planning. Nice to hear that even with no weekday riding they are still fit enough for a 12k jaunt !

I agree with all the comments about it not being the best time for starting owning a horse, but an opportunity has come up for what looks like my ideal horse - think I will go and take a look at him and then try and hatcha plan. If he's not the one, then will probably leave it till the weather picks up.

There are slot of horses about either very cheap, free or on loan atm so I would say a good time to look. I have just sold a pony to some pony club friends so stuff is moving still.

If you have found the ideal one then go for it.

Make sure you find a yard that likes kids as a lot won't entertain them. I have 2 DDs and one is a very keen rider and member of pony club,show jumps, hunts etc and the other is quite happy just to come up for a cuddle every now and then. Married to an ex farmer (who are notorious for not being horse lovers!) he enjoys coming up the fields with us and we haveatractor etc - we rent our own ground so a bit different. Have friends who help out when we go out and when child 3 arrives in February he will beehives in his roam in a stable while I ride in the field. Worked well for the other two when I had them.

Ours live at home and are stabled overnight and always rugged in this weather which cuts right down on grooming.

We have an indoor menage so ride as usual whatever the weather.

What about working livery at a riding school?

If you find the right person, sharing your horse works really well. Less money and less time needed from you, plus you have someone who can help with the odd weekend away or holidays.
If it's your horse you can say how much you want to do, and then you get to choose your horse rather than share someone else's?
Of course you have to get a good match but it's worth considering, it's worked really well for me in the past.

I bought a pony 6 weeks ago and my husband thought I was mad. Turns out he loves having the pony and now wants his own horse

We aren't doing anything at all with ours right now, just hoping they are warm enough, as they live out and have only trees. (we are planning a shed). Dh really loves the idea of DSS getting into horses as a way to build self-confidence and all that. She loves the horses, and that alone has made him happy to afford them!

Would you consider working livery, if it's an option in your area? Agree this is a lousy time of year to buy a horse!

I warn you if your DH isn't keen you will be having a whole lot of trubs. I work 26 hours per week round school hours. I get Friday afternoons off so ride then, but this leaves me NO time to do anything else without the kids in tow. DH is very anti, but I have owned my horse longer than I have known him. 16 yrs v 14 yrs, and she is now old and basically knackered, so not saleable.

My girl can't live out full time due to health issues, we don't have land, so I am forced to have her at livery. I was on DIY, but it was killing me, kids hated going to yard after school, everyone miserable, so did 5 day DIY doing 4 morings instead of 2 weekend days. I start work at 08:00 so was getting up at 05:30 3 morns a week to do it. It is now too dark in the early mornign to see at the yard so she is back on 7 day part livery. DH hates it if I rode BOTH weekend days, so I only get to ride 2 days a week, and I am paying £380 per month. We have fab hacking but no school.

Everyone's situation is different. DH's, kids attitudes all differ. I am struggling like hell to cope, and the debts are mounting.

I would not have bought her all those years ago had I k nown what was in store.

My advice - LOAN all the way!!!

My girl is up for grabs if you are interested? joke