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The tack room

Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.

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Original poster

One of the worst days of my life

15 replies

frostyfingers · 07/05/2011 12:09

My old TB (17) has been suffering from sarcoids for 8 years, and after lots of treatment I decided to call it a day a few months ago. The plan was to let him enjoy some spring grass and sunshine and then put him to sleep before the flies got into the unhealed wound - the reason for stopping treatment....

This morning I went to get him and his mate in from the field and noticed that he was moving slowly - I thought perhaps he'd been kicked, or was just stiff. On inspection I discovered that he had ruptured the whole wound area - the bit right up in his groin and the whole thing had split open, about 6" long, and was dripping blood like a tap. I got him in, called the vet and we decided that it was all over.

He must have been bleeding for ages as there was lots of blood in the field and he was weak and droopy and I feel so bad that his last hours were spent in pain and distress - I wanted it to be quiet and peaceful but it was awful. I held him as he went down and had to run away when the lorry came for him. It was all so quick and I'm sure it was ok for him, but god I feel awful - I so didn't want him to suffer and I couldn't give him that.

Sorry, there's no point to this, I just feel dreadful and need to get it out really.

OP posts:

eastendmummy · 07/05/2011 12:32

You poor thing, that sounds so distressing. I've never had my own horse PTS but have been there with friends and it's horrendous. Please try to be kind to yourself, you've given him a great life and dealt with his injury as quickly and kindly as you could.

CarGirl · 07/05/2011 12:35

I'm not horse owner nor a rider but you did the best you could, you weren't negligent you couldn't have foreseen that it would split open.

He has enjoyed some sunshine and grass and been out in the field - he's had a good life.

Be so very kind to yourself.

Kormachameleon · 07/05/2011 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerMajestiesSecretCervix · 07/05/2011 12:42

So sorry to hear this.

Mousesmummy · 07/05/2011 14:54

You poor thing, it sounds heartbreaking
As others have said you could never have forseen this so please try to be gentle on yourself.
XXXX

Mirage · 07/05/2011 18:57

I'm really sorry,I welled up reading your post.It sounds like he had a lovely life with you-think of all the good happy years you spent together.

molliemol · 07/05/2011 19:57

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. I am in a similar position with my 30 yr old gelding. It is an impossible situation- you obviously want to give them as long as possible, without allowing them to fall into any level of suffering. You did what you thought was right, and you loved him. What more an anyone do?

annieapple7 · 08/05/2011 22:46

I feel for you. My 18 year old pony suffered from sarcoids and had to be destroyed. You did your best for him and he was lucky to have you as his owner.

Loshad · 08/05/2011 22:51

loads of hugs here, you poor thing. Peaceful end for him hopefully

Original poster

frostyfingers · 09/05/2011 08:13

Thank you - it's still terribly painful. I couldn't go out to the stables for the rest of the day, the other two had to pretty much fend for themselves out in the field apart from a quick check up in the evening. The pony who was his best friend and did see his body seems to have moved on, but the horse who didn't and who I've only had for 8 weeks or so spent the first 24 hrs looking for him - sniffed and dug the place in the yard where he went down, and licked the concrete where all the blood was (even though we pressure hosed it) and had dug in the field where blood was as well - interesting, although distressing to watch.

I haven't really slept that well as I keep having nightmares seeing the blood and him on the ground, and his bridle hanging in the tack room set me off yesterday, but I suppose it's a bit less raw and your kind words do help, thank you.

OP posts:

horsemadmom · 09/05/2011 10:47

Frosty,
You are a great owner. You did the best thing for your horse. You could not have predicted that the end would come as it did but you made the kindest possible choices at every turn. The measure of how wonderful you are is that you hoped for one more joyous spring on the sweet grass. Your horse was very lucky and soon you'll have the happy memories at the forefront.
Hugs and sympathy.

bumpybecky · 09/05/2011 10:51

aww Frosty you poor thing :(

ExitPursuedByALamb · 09/05/2011 10:56

A friend of mine once said "Why do we think that animals cannot cope with pain the way humans can?"

I often think of those words when one of my animals is "suffering".

Your horse knew that he was loved and that you would be along to help him.

I wasn't there when my horse was pts as she was on the operating table, but she would not go into the padded operating room so had to be given a sedative with me holding her. I still have the jeans bearing the last bit of fluid that dripped from her nostrils as she dozed off in my hands.

Am having a little weep now just thinking about it, and that was 15 years ago.

You have my every sympathy.

Mirage · 09/05/2011 11:55

See,now I'm blubbing again.Exit,that is so sad.It reminded me of when our first pony Tarquin was pts.Us girls were sent into the kitchen as the lorry came into the yard as we were all 10 or under,so I didn't see him go,but I remember all of us sobbing-I still tear up thinking about it and it was over 30 years ago.

fourstickymitts · 09/05/2011 19:20

Hugs, really. How horrid. You need to try to remember the good times. I found my horse dead in the field (she was a good age though) and worried myself about what happened. Best way is to think about how much you enjoyed and loved each other. It gets better, honest. You did your best for him and were with him at the end, I doubt he would have asked for anymore than that.

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