New horse

[CotswoldCountryMummy]

My lovely husband bought me a new horse at Christmas. A beautiful warmblood x 16.2hh bay mare with BSJA points. She's hunted with the North Cotswold and is perfect, but very forward. I haven't hunted for five seasons and having had a baby, have somewhat lost my nerve. I am desperate to go out next season, and need to have some refresher lessons over summer. Does anyone know of a really good freelance teacher in the dorset area (that's where we'll be this summer). I need to get my nerve back. ANy suggestions appreciated.

That's the kind of dh (dear husband) I'd like. Mind you, mine does ride, and is an enthusiast, so can't complain really. Can't help with the teacher, I'm afraid; I'm sure someone on here can help.

He is an angel bless him!! It's our tenth wedding anniversary this year, so the mare is an early present. I will have to think of something really special for him now. :-)
It's nice to have a friendly response. Thanks.:-) i just posted on the AIBU thread about TV's in childrens nurseys. Most responses were really nice, but three or four seemed obsessed with the fact that my 19 month old daughter has a pony, and posted a litany of snide, and very unfunny comments, including the question "Does Flo's pony look like this?" and a link to a picture of a plastic rocking horse. Really odd. Are they so bored they just want to cause aggro?!

For some reason it's seen as clever to be really mean to women who are new to MN (Mumsnet). It's basic playground bullying. Your posting style does give you away as a newbie, but that shouldn't put you off. People are also envious of anyone who is apparently wealthier, and owning a pony is seen as a sign of wealth. To anyone brought up in the countryside it seems more normal.

AIBU is worse than other parts of MN, but there are other sections you should also steer clear of, if feeling at all vulnerable.

like which others?? thanks :-)

Sign of wealth? I wish! Cause of poverty more like

haha! too right. The only new shoes around here are on the horses! Cost a bloody fortune! :-)

I'm lucky, mine has never worn shoes, never needed them. £22 for a trim every couple of months does him, same with the shetland.

Btw, since you were talking about nerve, you've come to the right place. We did have a wusses club at one point but everyone else seems to have got their act together so now it's just me. I don't suppose you are anywhere near as bad as me if you can even think about hunting without having a sit down and a stiff drink.

I'm not in Dorset though, sorry.

used to drink half a bottle of port before i got to the meet!

Topics dominated by groups of people who all know each other are rather dangerous for newbies. 'Chat' is not dissimilar to AIBU. Lots of people find 'Feminism' scary. 'Teenagers' has a lot of scary people posting on it. I expect you know that hunting can be a red rag to a bull. A Mumsnet prejudice is not to have 'Mummy' in your username. God knows why. Sigh. I rarely start threads now, because even though I've been around for years, I still don't relish being torn limb from limb. If you do get attacked, ignore the attacking poster, don't bother to respond, otherwise they will bring all their friends over to join in with trying to annihilate you.

The tack room, however, is a very friendly place, rarely if ever frequented by bullies IMO.

I had a horse from my DH for Christmas too! Mine's a 14.2 Fell Pony because I'm still a wuss, and she's not too big. She is an angel, and the best present I have ever had. No idea how to get your bottle back for hunting though, I would have a fit of the vapours at the very thought! I am feeling proud of myslef because I now canter without holding my neckstrap (but can't quite give up having it there!)

The tack room is the best place on Mumsnet, I don't often bother elsewhere.

Ahh, you've been flamed have you? I'm afraid the combo of your username (which means you live in a large, cotswold stone house and your husband is a banker/works in the city), the fact that your DD has a pony (which means that you have too much money) and your newbie status have combined to give you this baptism of fire.

I love AIBU, but you have to be aware that anything you post on any of the discussions there can result in a flaming and things can turn into a bunfight in about 5 seconds flat. The use of disclaimers on anything you post is also advised. .

I'm also in the Cotswolds and my DD has a pony too. Sadly no time for my own horse but I get more riding than I need helping out at a friend's yard. Don't know any teachers in Devon, but know several good ones around these parts if you want to PM me.

thanks all, i'll bear it in mind... :-)
How do they deduce your life style through your user name? Actually, true about the house, but my husband hates the city. He does run his own farm though.
what i don't understand is that MN is portrayed as being middle class, yet surely the morons who were making such inane comments about Flo's pony aren't middle class? I thought the middle classes are more intelligent? bit confusing!thanks for your friendly responses.

You have husbands that buy you horses! Goodness. Oh - actually my DH bought my horse when my beloved mare was pts, but that was moons ago.

I am still a wuss - given up since breaking my heel in a fall.

Good luck with your new mare. She sounds a bit like mine - very forward going.

The people being nasty are just jealous. Actually - I am a bit jealous too, but only because I miss my old life, pre fall.

I know exactly what you mean Cotswold, I started a thread a couple of weeks ago about being really annoyed seeing small babies being forced to sit in the sun in their pushchairs while the mums just stood there and chatted while this poor little baby is slowing getting redder and crispier. All I got was a load of abuse about "Don't you know vitamin D is good for you? Don't you know that Rickets disease is on the up because of ignorant people like you? Are you abroad then seeing all these babies in the sun, in march? Blah blah blah" I removed it in the end because I was sick of all the bitchy comments.

I don't have a horse, can't ride, I'm actually allergic. But I love horses and wish I had one, could ride, wasn't allergic. I like to come in The Tack Room just keep my interests going and to be insanely jealous of everyone who owns a horse :o

I meant ambivalentandroid Sorry

It is quite weird that one isn't allowed to comment on another persons parenting 'style' on MN. And fgs don't mention class anywhere but here. Being middle class is somewhat frowned upon on MN, it's due to the inverse-snobbery that is prevalent here. It is far better to be working class and a single parent who formula fed her children, sends them to the nearest sink school and feels that TV is a valid babysitter...

So have you always been a farmer/farmers wife in the Cotswolds or have you moved here recently? I feel I may know you in RL.

thankyou for all the feed back. :-)
Exit pursued by a lamb - so sorry to hear about your fall. It doesn't take much to be put off and it's such a shame because you never lose that yearning.
Have you thought of starting again from scratch? You could go to a really good stables with a teacher you trust and a placid horse and take it one step at a time...
Melly 19, i know exactly what you mean about these bitchy women. I started a thread on AIBU saying "AIBU to object to nursery having the TV on all day. My daughter watches it at home for limited times but i don't expect to pay nursery for her to watch it there."
What was the response from a few???
"Are you criticizing mothers who let their children watch tv?"

Er, quite evidently, no i am not.
the thing that puzzles me is that i read recently that MN is the meeting place of middle class guardian readers who feed their children quinoa. (don't you just love stereotypes?), yet i am fairly sure that the harpies i was being attacked by on the AIBU board were no Guardian readers. And i would be stunned if they had ever heard of Quinoa. And i'm sure a middle class intelligent person whould not vilify me for having bought my daughter a pony. So, are the middle classes indigenous to certain groups on MN?? The tack room is lovely and friendly. I like it here. :-)
Actually, i live in Dorset (worked in the cotswolds a couple of years ago before we had Lily) I only said her name was Flo until i felt i could trust who i was talking to. I would hate for anyone unpleasant to use her name., even though that might sound silly.
We live near sturminster newton. My husband owns/runs a 400 acre dairy farm.
I run a Bed and Breakfast from the farm house.
What is RL??

RL - Real life. Best not to use real names. There is a list of acronyms somewhere which is useful to know.

I am too old and fat to ride now! Did ride on holiday with DD a couple of years ago and my knees really hurt. Maybe if I lose some weight I will get back in the saddle, but I have had my mare's shoes taken off .

Lots of different types of people here on MN. When I first joined I name changed every few weeks as I seemed to upset people all the time (over things like 4x4s!). A quick name change and you have a whole new identity.

I have noticed that on AIBU threads you don't tend to get mixed opinions on a thread, you either get just loads of support, or loads of abuse! It's from one extreme to the other.

I think that is the sheep mentality. It takes a brave person to go against the flow. I tend not to post if I don't agree with all the other posters now. It makes me question my own judgement sometimes . Although MN has made me broaden my opinions.

Especially if it's a thread like one a while ago, the OP saw a dog tied up outside a co-op, dog was in an awful state and was whining pitifully, it's lead was attatched by threads. So OP decided to hang around and see whose it was, and this woman came out the shop and slapped the dog for being noisey and the OP had a go at her for being mean etc etc. She rung RSPCA I think? And anyway everyone who commented on it was like "Yep I would've done exactly the same blah blah blah" and this one woman called her creepy and pervy for waiting to see if said dog was being abused. All she got in return for that was a damn good flaming.

Definitely NOT middle-class here, although I have heard of quinoa. I bought some once and it's still in the cupboard, probably out of date.

I have heard of quinoa, I have eaten it before, many times. My mum decided she was going to start eating all 'Gillian McKeith' and we ate stuff like tabbouleh, and millet mash, and quinoa. It's actually rather nice :)

Oooh, I bought some quinoa once...can't remember getting around to eating it though :)

CCM - I am so incredibly jealous - your new horse sounds absolutely amazingly lush! Just the kind of horse I would love to have. I have never hunted as for ages I hated the idea of it, and although I still feel uncomfortable at some of it, I would love to hunt for the ride. I had an ID hunter that unfortunately I recently had to sell, and although I never hunted him, I am now totally converted to hunter types (but am now just stuck with my little gypsy cob!).

I found the best way to regain confidence post-kids is just to go for lovely long hack, make little jumps along the way, explore random places etc. I did try the 'lessons to get back into it after babies' - but didn't find them helpful really.