Cold feet about pony purchase: please reassure me

[flowerpotwoman]

I've bought a pony (14.1hh native) for my DD and me to share (plan is that I'll hack around the lanes while she's at school and she'll jump and do PC etc).

We've had a 12.2hh on loan for the past year, and I had ponies as a child, so I know what I'm taking on. But I'm so SCARED/NERVOUS about the commitment of horse ownership. I've checked this pony out with the PC, vet etc and she seems fantastic, so I think she's 'the one'.

The pony is arriving next week and my DD is beside herself with joy, so why am I so worried? Please tell me I'm doing the right thing! Would love to hear from anyone else who's been through the same emotional rollercoaster and survived.

Thank you

FPW

[flowerpotwoman]

bumping

[flowerpotwoman]

bump

[flowerpotwoman]

buuuuuump

[Pixel]

Don't worry you are not the only one. We got our first pony 30 years ago and I was sick with fear when the realisation hit me about what a responsibility it all was! I even had a little wobble when we bought our latest one 3 years ago. It's all fine though. In fact it's great, I wouldn't change it for the world. We've had horses on loan before too and it's nothing like owning them. You don't get that little thrill of pride and joy when you see them peacefully grazing and think "he's mine". And your dd will be able to have a proper bond because she will know that there is no one waiting to take the pony back which will be lovely for you to see.

[flowerpotwoman]

Thanks Pixel, I don't really know what I'm worried about, but I have this feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach that's keeping me awake at night. It's not the practical side of things, but the emotional: what if my DD loses interest (no sign of that after four years of sold obsession, but you never know) or the DPony develops an incurable condition (a pony I had as a child had navicular and eventually had to be put down) or turns out to be a bolter/rearer (really not expecting this to happen!) etc.

I am just one of life's worriers. Know I have to go with the flow and accept the extra worry, just as you accept it with each extra child. Only they at least live in the same house and don't need new shoes quite as often

[flowerpotwoman]

hopeful bump

[seeker]

Oh, I do so know how you feel! We impulse bought dd's pony in December - she was incredibly cheap for quick sale, so we bought her in a week from first seeing her to being on our yard! We had her properly vetted, but there is a bit of me that is still waiting for her to start bucking, or for her leg to fall off or something! And every little niggle (she was lame for a week or so a while back) makes my heart sink to my boots!

But e went to a show last weekend, and dd and I followed the horsebox all the way home. Dd was preactically crying with happiness watching her ears (all she could see of her!) and realizing that she was hers!

[Butkin]

Although DD is now 7 she's had 3 ponies which have moved on (first one back to her breeder, one to Switzerland and one last week to Guernsey) as she has outgrown them.

She now just has the one Sec A and one Sec B.

There was a time when we first bought the roan Sec A we thought we'd wasted the money as she wasn't keen to ride for a while (Winter). However it has been a massive success and it will actually be very hard to part from him when she outgrows him.

I'm sure you're doing the right thing and, at the end of the day, you can always sell them if things don't work out.

I'm sure it will all be a success - good luck!

[flowerpotwoman]

Sorry for the delay in replying. Thank you Seeker and Butkin. I am (fairly) sure it will work out; we just need to get to know her and bond. I can still remember how incredible it felt when I got my pony at the age of 13.

Thank you; I may be back for more hoof-holding next week

[PlanetEarth]

I bought a pony for a family share (self, kids, OH) two months ago. My first ever horse and it was terrifying - I have the head-to-toe psoriasis outbreak to prove it! Even the viewings were horribly stressful, and it wasn't just whether I was buying the right pony, it was the whole horse-owning trauma.

The first month was still pretty stressful, but things have calmed down now. I wouldn't say it's stress free now as there's always something - first it was choosing tack etc., then it was bringing him in from the field when he'd made horsey friends, now it's the riding (he naps in the school and spooks on hacks - I expected this to improve but it seems to be getting worse...).

However, so far all has basically gone OK and no major disasters. Ask me again in 5 years!

[flowerpotwoman]

Hi PlanetEarth,

Know how you feel: our pony has arrived and I am still a bag of nerves. My DD, however, is in heaven. First ride today?

[seeker]

How did it go?

[flowerpotwoman]

Thanks for asking Seeker. It's all going fine, except?

I am still a bag of nerves. Can't seem to relax. My DD has ridden her twice and she seems ok, walks out very fast and is extremely alert, but hasn't spooked at anything (yet). I rode her this morning for about 15 mins, but I know my fear went straight down the reins. (I have form: as a child, my pony died in a car accident, and I have never really got over it; no wonder I'm nervy. That's why I sometimes wonder why on earth I ever encouraged my DD to like horses.)

Eek. What have I done? Tell me it's going to be okay. Perhaps I'm just not cut out for this level of responsibility. [shy]

[flowerpotwoman]

I meant [nervous emoticon], but there isn't one.

[Mayandbump23]

Don't worry, it's normal to be nervous at first with a new horse, especially your own. I'm Ms Confident when it comes to riding other people's horses, I'll always have a go, but for some reason with my own I can be a bag of nerves. I think it's because you know that if someone's else's horse misbehaves it's their problem to sort out but if it's your own the sorting out will be down to you...

One thing that has worked for me in the past is to get someone else to ride my horse, almost to show me that it's ok, they're good, nothing to worry about. Can you get someone from the yard to ride your pony once or twice, just for a quick hack? Also, if possible, ride out with other people first. That way you and the pony will be more relaxed whilst you get to know each other and there's comfort in knowing someone else is there to help out if needed.

[flowerpotwoman]

Thank you Mayandbump23, you're right: it's the fact that this is my horse ? and so I'm ultimately responsible for her behaviour ? that's causing me grief.

I know she's a good pony: she hasn't put a hoof wrong so far; the problem lies with me. Fortunately, my DD is getting on really well with her, and doesn't seem at all nervous.

Think I'll just have to take it verrry slowly: go for hacks and just walk/trot, avoiding open countryside until I feel more confident. This is going to take some time?

[Pixel]

Lol, you both sound like me. My sister even remarked once, after watching me have a successful lesson on my instructor's horse, "Oh she's (meaning me) only scared of horses when she owns them".