Staff room-sharing on residential

[TheSmallHours]

I'm a TA. At the beginning of the year I agreed to go on a week-long residential in 2026. I've just learned that staff share bedrooms. AIBU to simply refuse to share, without giving the reasons why this is an issue for me? There are reasons beyond 'because I don't want to', but I dislike and distrust the trip leader and don't particularly want to expose my personal vulnerabilities to them.

Do not do this. You volunteered but it appears that you were not aware of the circumstances. You are not being unreasonable.

Do not do this.

bow out if you don’t want to share room

You should have been made aware of this when you agreed to go on the residential. It does happen (but in my experience it’s more the case of staff sharing chalets) so still having separate bedrooms but shared communal areas.

You can just mention that due to medical reasons that you wish to have your own accommodation. If they can’t accommodate that then they’ll have to find someone else.

but I dislike and distrust the trip leader and don't particularly want to expose my personal vulnerabilities to them.

This should be your thread @TheSmallHours !

Why?

Sorry, I don’t understand the do not do this replies. Do you mean do not go on the residential, or do not refuse to share without giving reasons. I don’t even want to say that it’s for medical reasons.

everyone mean do not refuse to share without giving reasons

You could say you don't want to share as you snore.

This would be a deal breaker for me. I would agree to one night but not anything more. I’m an adult professional, treat me as such!

I absolutely wouldn't want to share a room with a work colleague and you shouldn't have to. I have never had to share a room on a residential. You need your own private space. Would be so awkward wouldn't it, if you talked in your sleep, snored, farted, had to dash to the loo a few times, whatever!! You might also want 5 minutes alone to chat to your loved ones. Tell them "So sorry, but I didn't realise I have to share a room. So excited to go, but I need my own room because of this, this and this."

A risky strategy. What if MrsRoomsharer isn’t bothered by snoring, or is happy to use earplugs?

Really doesn't matter - it's not about what other people feel. I genuinely can't sleep on the same room as others because of this. I know I snore and it doesn't matter if they're okay with it - I won't sleep and then I'll be ill.

Just say you want your own room - or you can't go - it doesn't really matter if you give reasons or not.

Good point.

I've always had to share on residentials but am happy to, as long as it's another woman. If you don't want to, just say 'I can only go if I can have my own room for personal reasons.' Then they can decide whether they can accommodate that. Sometimes they can't for cost reasons - after all, it's the families of the kids on the trip who are subsidising your accommodation and trips are expensive enough anyway these days. Good luck.

‘Subsidising my accommodation’ when I, unpaid, will be cheerfully cleaning up their children’s vomit, helping to change their wet beds and comforting them when they are homesick. At the very least I should be able to then return to the comfort of privacy. I have loved going on residentials and do not resent doing these things, but it’s not a holiday.

i know it’s not a holiday - I’ve been on loads! I’m just reasoning why they ask staff to share a room, to keep costs down.