Feeling so drained

[WonderingWanda]

This half term has been so exhausting. Workload has been unsustainable and I feel trapped in my job / career. I also feel like I am wasting my half term because I am just so exhausted. I can't motivate myself to do anything. I already have a panicky shallow breathing feeling if I think about work and how much of it I should be doing this week to try and get back on track, but also know trying to address any of it in this state is counter productive, I will be inefficient and waste even more time.

Anyone else feeling the same way? I'm not really after solutions, I've moved schools which fixed the behaviour issue but now the workload is crippling. I know the solution is to quit teaching and we can't afford that right now.

if anyone has any tips on how to reclaim my half term and try to make myself feel better then please feel free to share.

@WonderingWanda I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and struggling 😔 I had a very stressful half term due to a long term absence in my department (I'm HoD) causing increased workload in a school that is already an intense and quite pressured environment. Like you, the kids are great and behaviour is good but the workload is heavy.

It sounds like you could be suffering from stress/anxiety though, given that you feel panicky when you think about work.

Some things to consider:

Is it worth seeing your GP for some support?

Is there anyone you can speak to in school about things? HoD/line manager/a colleague/a member of SLT? That may give you some support.

Try to plan something nice over the next few days and work wise, just focus on what absolutely has to be done for Monday.

@PumpkinPie2016 thank you. I am sure my gp would be delighted to put me on antidepressants as that seems to be her solution to everything. I don't think I am depressed or have anxiety in general. I just think teaching has become unrealistic. I am wary of getting signed off or moaning too much to slt because it feels like we are under so much scrutiny all the time and slt are always looking for chinks and reasons to get rid of staff especially experience / expensive staff or those who don't toe the party line.

@WonderingWanda I totally sympathise with not wanting to rock the boat!

Does your school have the employee assistance programme? I have used their services before and they are very good. Completely confidential too. May be worth a chat with them if you can.

Other than that, I would start focusing your energy on job hunting - someone I know left teaching and went to work for a council in the SEND department so there are other things out there.

Just to say I sympathise. I'm a great advocate of list writing in order to close some of the open tabs in my teaching brain. I love the teaching but agree the workload is increasingly unrealistic. I've not managed it myself, but did read about having set times for opening email i.e. once before school, once at lunch and once after school. You then aren't wasting time going into an account at a time you can't/shouldn't be dealing with work.

Not sure if you're primary or secondary but could you make yourself some breathing space with a few text book lessons. Something where you are there but not having to perform.

Finally look at some meditations around your breathing. Even just taking a few deep breaths before a lesson can help.

OP my half term “break” has felt more like a half term breakdown so I completely empathise.
I’ve spent my 2 weeks off signing up to supply agencies, creating my CV and job hunting but it’s the first time I’ve actually questioned whether I want to teach any more. The sight of job adverts with their “works well under pressure” person specification BS just makes me want to go and lay down frankly. I’m sick of bullying managers, covering their arses SLT scapegoating teachers, fussy parents telling me how to teach and overly coddled children.
I wish I hadn’t painted myself into this unlucrative corner of a career.
I was planning on resigning today but have decided I’m going to:
•work on supply during the days that I can
•get Botox
•book a hot holiday
•Go to pilates
•Start underperforming

@Gloriousgoard your "start underperforming" made me smile!

These days, I turn up on time, sober, and with a well-prepared lesson. I keep order and mark work in a timely fashion, providing appropriate feedback. Anything else - initiatives, enrichment projects, attending school events - can go to hell. Emails never, ever get checked at home & I put on an OOO message during the holidays. I have a countdown on my phone to retirement.

@Upseymonkey Good idea about the email, but I'm not sure it would work. So much work is shared via email so I am continuously opening it or teams to find the relevant thing I need.

@Gloriousgoard sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish too. I agree with you about being trapped in this career. I think I am underperformed.....I can't keep up.

@LimpingPheasant I love your approach, my school are currently going out of their way to ensure you can't just go to work, get your head down and get on with it.

I'm dreading the Hods meeting later this week, it will just be another pile of of work.