How would you deal with this parent?

Snorlaxo · 18/10/2025 17:51

Do you know his year 2 teacher by any chance?

Is it possible that he has behavioural issues and the mum has misinterpreted the increased attention as being liked more?

TeacherPrimaryabc · 18/10/2025 18:57

Frieda86 · 18/10/2025 17:44

I teach Y3. Ive a child who apparently was put on a bit of a pedestal by the previous teacher.
His mum rang me the other day to tell me hes upset coming to school. I asked why. She said "well basically he just doesn't like you".
She was very nice about it, said she doesn't want me to do anything, said "I just want you to be aware that he doesn't like you".
What am I supposed to do with that information???

It's so difficult this job. If we were allowed to, I'd be tempted to say "Well, I'm sorry but that's life. We can't all like everybody can we? What a great experience for him, welcome to the real world. Perhaps he needs to try a bit harder getting to know me, and also doing as he is told. Tell him to come into school, and hopefully he starts liking me soon!"

But back in today's real world, I would probably say something like "Oh I am so sorry he feels like that. Send in him so that I can have a chat, and build a relationship with him. Maybe he can come to lunch with me one day next week, and we can get to know each other. I like him a lot and I'm sad he feels like that."

Then, basically play the game and tell him he's special, wonderful and how much you like him.

Original poster

Frieda86 · 18/10/2025 21:48

Snorlaxo · 18/10/2025 17:51

Do you know his year 2 teacher by any chance?

Is it possible that he has behavioural issues and the mum has misinterpreted the increased attention as being liked more?

Thanks for yoir reply. There's no behavioural issues. Hes a bit of a class clown and I've not given it any attention except splitting him up from his mate. But I think the y2 teacher laughed at his jokes a lot.

OP posts:

Original poster

Frieda86 · 18/10/2025 21:49

TeacherPrimaryabc · 18/10/2025 18:57

It's so difficult this job. If we were allowed to, I'd be tempted to say "Well, I'm sorry but that's life. We can't all like everybody can we? What a great experience for him, welcome to the real world. Perhaps he needs to try a bit harder getting to know me, and also doing as he is told. Tell him to come into school, and hopefully he starts liking me soon!"

But back in today's real world, I would probably say something like "Oh I am so sorry he feels like that. Send in him so that I can have a chat, and build a relationship with him. Maybe he can come to lunch with me one day next week, and we can get to know each other. I like him a lot and I'm sad he feels like that."

Then, basically play the game and tell him he's special, wonderful and how much you like him.

Edited

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Thanks. I think i do just need to play the game. Just dont know why parents think its ok to ring me up just to tell me that!

OP posts:

Stiffnewknee · 19/10/2025 01:27

What an absolute twat of a parent! I had one who said the same, similar situation year 3 and year 2 teacher let him get away with a lot. I just said ‘I’m not here to be his friend, I’m his teacher’ I’m sorry but I can’t entertain all of this relationships bollocks, it’s a big part of why behaviour is so horrendous these days. I didn’t like all of my teachers, my DC didn’t either and I’m not sure anyone does but it’s life and kids need to learn how to deal with not liking people. Is his mum going to ring up his first boss when he’s 16 and say the same? The boss would tell her where to go.

FrenchFancie · 19/10/2025 16:33

I have a similar situation with a yr 3 child. Tempted to reply ‘erm… yes? Ok?’ Not sure what to do about it to be honest. The child in my class doesn’t like me because I keep asking them to stop talking to their friend. Shock horror.
but we have to do all this ‘build relationships first’ so… I am now spending an (unpaid, OFC) lunch break each week with the child.

Gloriousgoard · 19/10/2025 21:08

I’ve literally just had this from a parent of a child in my class and I just got AI to write a non irritable sounding reply asking for her tips on how to get him to listen saying I’d be happy to take her lead!
I’m on the verge of handing in my notice anyway so at least come January he can have a teacher who will put up with his appalling behaviour!

broken1980 · 21/10/2025 18:49

I had exactly the same! I teach Y3, had a parent say something like I shouted at their child. I was shocked and asked the child when this was as I don’t shout and even if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be at her as she’s very well behaved. The child said nothing. Absolutely nothing. She knew it wasn’t true. Not heard a peep since!