Soul crushing work place

[PithyMauveZebra]

Hi all,

I’ve never posted on here before and to maintain anonymity I’ll have to be slightly reserved with the detail I include in the post.

So, I’ve been at my current school for a year in the maths department. HOD went off to have a little baby girl. She fell very very ill so went off sooner. I interviewed for the role of interrim HOD. Got it and have been doing it for 10 months now. So, my issue is, since I’ve started. It’s been issue after issue after issue. My manager is a micromanager. Controlling, rude and makes me feel belittled at any opportunity.

I applied for something around 2 weeks ago. Got shortlisted and went to the interview today. I was unsuccessful, but they gave me the feedback as to why. Needless to say, my manager emailed me right after the interview to ask if I got it or not. I then had to go in today to collect my sisters daughter, and at the gates I was greeted with a very annoyed line manager who said “you really need to make sure that next time you do this. You are going through the channels of communication correctly. You can’t just make the decision that you want to leave. Where does that leave me if I have to recruit. What is the point in me trying to get staff to rally together to work with the department if you just want to leave” after already being rejected my heart sank. One that I was being spoken to in this way and two because I’m not going to be spoken to in that way. I pushed back, and explained why I did it and that I do not have to justify my reasoning. After being rejected today I already felt a failure and didn’t need this on top.

So, truthfully, I want to leave. I’m desperately trying to. I’m stuck in a really toxic soul crushing school and I don’t know how to get through it. Signing off sick is not what I neee to do. I just really would appreciate some practical advice. I’m mentally exhausted at this place and I don’t know how to cope with a bully as my manager.

If you are intending to leave, you just need to find a job and leave.

Not sure what the communication channels comment is about though.

Sorry you didn't get the job today. When you can, go through the feedback and use it for your next interview.

Focus on finding other new roles to apply for. You will get one eventually.

As for your managers comments, you actually can just decide you want to leave!! You don't owe them anything.

OP commiserations I have worked in similar places and sadly my current workplace is similar now due to an insecure toxic micromanager who seems not to have a semblance of a life outside of work for example oyr whole department was sent an email around 10pm on Sunday about how to do playground duty. It must have had 1000 words!
I wish I could take my own advice when I say that when I’ve left toxic workplaces before I’ve found myself wondering why I hadn’t done it sooner when I finally do it.
I am thinking I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to work in another school though. I think sadly most are as bad as the other.

See this is exactly how I’ve felt. It’s one bad place to another. It’s progressively got worse as I’ve moved too! When one place has 3 difficult individuals, the next has had double. It’s so emotionally exhausting!

Totally concur with all the comments. The most annoying and infuriating thing is these micromanagers, not doing it themselves 😬.

Before I joined supply in the summer, I worked under a toxic micromanager who told how we must mark, how we should teach the lessons, how our books should look and so on. I and others had a sneaky look at her books, when she wasn't around. And guess what, everything she told us to do to be the perfect teacher, she didn’t do herself!!!. Books not marked, dates not written correctly in books, planning not complete. Yet we were under the coals if any of those things weren't done.

My only advice is to get out of full time permanent roles. As a supply teacher, despite the cons / difficulties, I tell the school / agency what I will and won't do!

So sorry to hear this OP. I would brush off her comments, you can leave whenever you like. Just keep applying and hopefully you will find something better. Unfortunately there is a lot of micromanaging going on everywhere but that doesn't mean you won't find a different variant of it that is slightly more tolerable.
You just carry on and do what you need to do. She sounds really miserable!

Her comment about you leaving just shows what a terrible manager she is. No one needs permission to leave a role. It is part of her job to sort it out if you get a role elsewhere. Hope you can get something else soon. Honestly, this too shall pass.

I was in a school for a maternity cover. My line manager was into micro managing in a very big way (if I am not mixing my metaphors). I had been in the school less than a term. It was July and it was a hot afternoon and previous to me the student had had numerous supervisors. The lesson was not good and as a result she said that If I had another bad lesson I would be put on a competency. I then said asked if she would like me to leave that afternoon or at the end of the week. You are in a no win situation. You only have 1 choice and that is to leave, even if you have no job to go to. There are good school out there. However there is not point in staying in such a toxic environment which will affect both your mental and physical health. It's not worth it. It is just a job

Sympathies, and joining for advice, I too have a toxic micromanager. I’ve never felt so unappreciated and disrespected. I’m waking up in the night worrying. It’s making me ill, but I’ve not been there long and was only 4 terms in my last job because that school was a disaster, I did at least have SLT support there, just not the resources I needed. I’m going to have to leave, the question is how long I can last. And are there actually any decent jobs out there?