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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Struggling to build relationships

2 replies

candyfloss89 · 06/10/2025 17:00

Primary TA and feeling really demoralised today 😢😢😢

Am working in a really challenging year group with lots of behaviour and SEND needs. I work alongside a 1:1 who's been with the children since reception, so consequently has a great relationship with them, particularly the trickier ones. 👍

However with me, it's a different story. They are defiant, refuse to work or follow instructions and are just plain rude ("I want <other TA>, I don't want to work with you.") I dish out heaps of praise, try to build relationships, enforce boundaries and make lots of time for the trickiest children who need the most support, but nothing is working. I feel like the bad cop, always nagging, totally redundant and useless - like it wouldn't matter if I was at work or not. If the children have their needs met by the other TA who they've always known, then what hope do I have for building a relationship with them? It all feels futile. I want to support them and it's frustrating to spend so much time and emotional energy just to hit a brick wall 💔💔

Has anyone had a similar experience and what did you do to make things better? We're a month in to the new year and I feel like I should have more inroads than I have by now 😭

OP posts:
EmeraldJeanie · 06/10/2025 19:23

Are you in the same class as this TA?
How is the teacher directing you both?
Is there a Senco or inclusion support person who you could chat with?
You sound committed and hardworking and are worthy of support and guidance.
The very best of luck to you.

Bluecat7 · 06/10/2025 20:28

Ask for support. Don’t take any rudeness. Maybe focus on the less tricky ones to start with and build it out from there. Also you are not in competition with the other ta, You’ll have your own style as a ta and the children will probably get used to it and enjoy working with you in time.

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