Constantly watching your back?

[carterteddy]

Hi all,
Needed to rant as I’m feeling pretty sick of my job at the moment.
I just can’t handle the back watching you have to do when working in secondary.
I cannot go anywhere without being spotted, shouted at, spoken too. Which a lot of the time is fine. I understand seeing your teacher outside of school is weird and exciting and they’re unable on how to act in front of you (lol) but it’s gotten to a point now where I’m just sick of it.
For example, I went out with my old work friends on Tuesday evening to the pub for some drinks. I was pretty drunk when two of my pupils came into the pub garden and sat on the table next to us. (I work in a secondary/sixth form so a lot of my pupils are 16-18)
I had to move tables but I instantly felt as if I couldn’t relax as I was constantly watching my back.
There has been numerous times where I’ve been seen on dates and then comments have been made in school asking me ‘did you enjoy your date miss?’
Can’t do my food shop, go for a meal or go effing clubbing without someone seeing me or knowing me.
(For context, I’m only 24, so I’m still in my clubbing era🤣)
Another thing is social media, I have all my accounts highly locked down with slim to no information on them but my pupils somehow seem to find me. They even found my home account on Instagram with no pictures of me or my name on! I am in awe of how crafty they are, but still bloody annoying.
Before all the negative comments, I do understand that this is what I signed up for when going into this career and I’ve been relatively ok with it the past few years! But I guess it’s just winding me up at the moment. I know a lot of my colleagues feel the same, one of them went on holiday and a family from work were staying in the same hotel as them. It’s like they’re haunting us😅
So much for 13 weeks off a year, but you still see the kids every day anyway!!
I also work 7 miles away from my school in hope that I wouldn’t run into them, but I live right in the centre of town so they all come here for the cinema/shops etc.
Hope I’m not the only one who’s sick of this at the moment 😅!! Driving me mad

I have changed schools for this exact reason

7 miles isn't living in a different area from the students.

As a teacher that lives 10 minutes away from my school in a very localised community, my advice, is don't interact - just smile and wave. You are entitled to a private life and your SLT should support that if parents comment. All the best!

I live a good 10 miles out in a small village but when I go into the nearest town I frequently see children I teach. I’m in primary and it doesn’t seem much better, I’ve had children as young as Y3 try to add me on social media despite my accounts being heavily restricted. I’ve also seen them out in town with their parents when I have been out for lunch etc. I think it’s just part of the job, smile and say a quick hello then disappear is the best way. If they are in close proximity, for example sat near you at the bar, I’d disengage or tell them politely that you’re out of school now and need privacy.

I grew up in a very small town where we all lived up against each other all the time.

The person who struggled most with this was the GP who obviously knew absolutely everybody's secrets. We had a working arrangement with him that if he saw us outside his office, he just pretended not to know us at all. I mean like he would just totally blank us and move on with his day.

We all understood because it was a very small town and it would have been impossible to function if he had to behave like he knew every single person.

It just meant that that was the social contact and parents explained it to their kids so we knew what to expect.

The best thing is probably to just work out a policy like that and stick to it rigidly so the kids will come to know what is expected.

Tbh it's probably really hard for them to be running into an authority figure in their off-hours and if you just blank them totally or at least almost totally, it might be easier for them too.