Increased misogyny from students

[ThisPoisedGoldGuide]

15 years into my teaching career, approaching 40 and just noticing increasing misogyny from male students. A lot more aggression aimed at me and point blank ignoring of my instructions when on break duty etc. Quite often when a male colleague comes and says the same thing, they will listen. I've gained weight in the last 5 years and have started getting a few nasty comments regarding that as well which is new. I've worked in the same school my whole career and while I'd definitely say the landscape has changed overall in terms of behaviour etc it's this insidious nastiness that seems to be becoming so much more common. Current SLT are obsessed with building relationships being the key to everything and don't seem willing to acknowledge the amount of angry, aggressive boys who seem to have issues with most of their female teachers.

I'm assuming this is happening everywhere but I'm not sure what the answer is in the current social media climate especially. Most of the boys that spring to mind also treat their mothers like dirt.

It's the Andrew Tate effect. It's not good. I work in an independent and there are some unpleasant young men along the lines you mention. It is so tough to tackle - the school should not accept personal comments being made and I would shout loudly to your SLT until something is done. Speak with your head of pshe about what can be done.

You might want your union rep to remind SLT that health and safety at work included staff well-being, and the equalities act means they have to deal with misogyny.

Yes it Andrew Tate and toxic misogyny

I had two year 8 sat in my class making the horrid "vagina" symbol he makes with his hands. Grim

And what had been done about it?

Yep! This is one of the many reasons I left teaching! It’s not being dealt with by SLT who seem to prioritise keeping parents happy over staff well-being!

@MrsHamlet nothing- I told them not to do it.

There is no point in reporting anything as nothing gets done. And if you do do something most of the detentions are removed because "we pick on them" or we haven't followed the behaviour lol I or we haven't phoned home.

Unless the person it happens to is SLT.

Policy not "lol"

Although LOL might be more accurate

Thanks for the responses, it's heartening to know it's not just us but also depressing it's so widespread. Slt pretty good at coming down hard on personal comments etc but it's that underlying insidious stuff that you know is happening but so hard to prove! And just that general contempt you feel from some boys especially.

Our union rep bangs the drum well and our PSHE curriculum is written by a woman who does it really well, but I really don't know how much impact it has.

Current SLT very into the trauma informed thing and its all about 'catching up with the student later' rather than directly challenging. I can see some of the logic but I hate that we are just expected to absorb verbal aggression without reacting, I just don't think it's good for the children to learn?! I don't know, it's depressing and I have no idea really what the answer is. My oldest daughter us only EYFS age and I cringe thinking about her getting older and being surrounded by this rubbish.

"Trauma informed" is ruining education.

Parent here with a DS in an SEMH school where they are touting "trauma informed". I'm not sure about most aspects of it but for an attention-seeking child (he has ADHD and this is a very common characteristic) completely blanking his unwanted/escalating/inappropriate behaviour is exactly the way to go. No reaction = no point in doing it.
We find it a successful tactic at home and his classroom teacher does it - and talking to the boy later and alone is going to mean he hasn't got his mates around to make him feel bolder/push it further/disagree that it's rude in front of.

When colleagues get told to "shut the fuck up, bitch", it's wholly unreasonable to expect them to ignore it or to have a restorative conversation

Thanks Drspouse I can see how that works at home but my issue with it at school is that quite often it's impossible to continue teaching while a student is persistently making comments/trying to antagonise you/on a full on tirade. Our SLT definitely favour the 'catch up later' method but this doesn't really work for me as I'm teaching so much I don't have time to chase students and also because I don't like to think of the other children watching me be berated and not reacting. I have on occasion tried it, only to be subject to more verbal aggression when I don't want to let the student rant at me further. I suppose I wonder what precedent it sets for these boys (particularly also for the girls who may be in relationships with them) as they transition from childhood to adulthood?

We tell our DD that we sometimes ignore DS so it doesn't make it worse - and I also think it might help you to look at "extinction bursts" - when a behaviour doesn't get the expected reaction, the child will try harder until they realise no more reaction is forthcoming.
Might be worth talking to the non-disruptive part of the class about how you definitely know X is being a pain in the backside, he's trying to derail the class, you are not going to spend your time talking to him because that's what he wants (DD, who is 10, now uses this phrase at home) and you are sorry but it might take a few goes for X to get the message and please will they bear with while you pretend he's not there. Send X and his cronies to SLT to have that "quiet word later" while you're doing it?

We think it's a good message for DD in her future life - don't give anyone who's behaving badly the time of day, just walk off and do your own thing (or in a classroom, ignore and do your own thing).

Edit - and also for DS - that nobody is going to give him attention/reaction if he behaves badly.

Secondary science - I've noticed a lot more blatant rudeness and disrespect from the boys directed at me.
Student was suspended yesterday after he called me a 'tramp', 'who the fuck do you think you are' etc. and even now a lot of his friends are defending him saying he was angry etc.

Yes I’ve noticed this, part of the reason I’m leaving. I really don’t get paid enough to put up with the constant insults. This happened to me today during a lesson.
I cannot ignore it and neither do I want to. I also don’t want to have a restorative conversation after, with pupils who display horrible behaviours.

@drspouse this is a staffroom.

Resurrecting this thread in the wake of the Netflix show Adolescence. I haven't finished it yet but amazing to have something highlighting this and being a big talking point for everyone. I'm hoping it will empower parents to talk to their girls about it and get this stuff more out in the open so that leaders can't ignore and brush it under the carpet any more.

I watched it over the weekend and it's very thought-provoking. I've taught a few lessons on po*rnography, consent, health relationships etc. as part of the RSE curriculum and some of the views the students have, particularly the older (y10/11) boys towards women, sex etc. is quite concerning.