Considering taking a break from teaching - could I get a job again at 50?

[Icantpeopleanymore]

Due to my daughter's SEN and currently being off school due to EBSA, I'm evaluating my options..

Been teaching 22 years, love my job, but do find it exhausting as a single parent of two children with additional needs. Art teacher in a fantastic school, head of department, there's only two of us.

If I left then it would be until I'm 50, then I would have to go back because I'd still have a mortgage of around 130k to pay off and my son would only be 13, daughter 18. I think both my kids will be living with me until their early 20s at least. I get UC to help at the moment so I could afford it for 3 years but after that, as my daughter might not get PIP, I'd have no other income and would have to work.

I just don't know if I'd be able to get work again, I'm so expensive now and it's not exactly a role that schools are desperate for.

Just trying to think ahead and decide what to do. I think I'll know in the next 3 to 6 months if there's any chance of her going back to school or of me securing an EHCP for her (and actually getting her into any provision at all) and I'm going to need to consider my options.

Fills me with dread as I've never not worked but I'm just really struggling to juggle everything right now and just think she needs me at home.

Could you start by cutting back your hours/days to part-time rather than leaving altogether?

How old is your daughter at the moment and what is the current arrangement while you are at work?

It's tricky because teaching is so full on and demanding, so doing it on top of supporting a child with additional needs must be incredibly difficult.

Could you reduce your hours temporarily to help while you hopefully sort the ehcp and provision for your daughter?

Hard as it is, I would be tempted to try to hold on to your job if you can. Not saying you wouldn't get another but a school where you are happy is worth it's weight in gold!

I dropped a day and am now 0.8, the monthly pay is still decent just doing 4 days and with the pay rise you'd be getting about £2424 a month if you are UPS3.

Having that extra day has made a massive difference to my mental health over the past year.

Solidarity, OP. I'm a single parent to a child with significant needs and it is full-on.

I would urge you to do everything in your power to try and keep your job ticking over if you possibly can, especially if you love the role and the school. These are absolutely invaluable and not guaranteed elsewhere, and very worth protecting. In your position, I would initially explore going part-time, temporarily if necessary, but seeing if you can negotiate keeping your FT TLR for running the department.

Do you claim DLA for your children? Do look into it if not. It really helps.

Thanks all. I'm already part time, 4 days a week. Because it's only me and another teacher in the department there's no chance of going to any less hours unfortunately. Certainly not this year anyway, with the timetables already set. They have offered Friday afternoons off, we have CPD, which would be really annoying to miss. I've been there 16 years and they totally understand and want to accommodate me but I guess there's only so far they can help.

The other teacher in the department isn't capable of being HOD, he's barely hanging on as it is.

Thing is it's just totally dictated by my daughter and the EHCP process, which I'm told in my county could take 20months, rather than 20 weeks!

She's just not willing to engage with anything, therapy, tutors, nothing.

Currently she has a day at home by herself, then maybe a day at her dad's, possibly 2 as he works from home 2 days, then my mum's maybe one day and my day off. She is safe at home alone, but I worry, it's not good for her. She would just sleep, eat a bit and be on her phone all day. She hates going to her dad's and he's planning a move to another county next summer, so will not be around for her. Not that he is currently anyway. He came to stay with her at the house when she was really bad when it first started and just moaned about the cost of the taxi here (doesn't drive). The only reason he does two days at home is so he can spend more time with his girlfriend, he works till 7.30pm by choice even on the one weeknight he has the kids and drops them off at 6.45am the next morning, so no support.

I want to hold on to my job, it's hard work but I love it and I saw myself managing to get to 30 years there by the time I retire. It's got it's issues, particularly my department because of staff, but I think I'm good at it ...at least I am unless I'm dealing with everything at home..

Maybe I'll just have to put something in place for the next term and see how we get on. I guess I could ask if they can see any way I could somehow shorted my days.

I guess I'm being pessimistic and assuming she won't go back. Just reading all the stories of ND kids not going back and worrying about the future.

Sorry meant to say, she's 15 in April, I get DLA guaranteed till she's 16, and I do get paid full TLR. Plus some because of a previous contract where I was faculty head for 3 subjects and my old headteacher wrote my contract in such a way that he secured it for me, not really sure how! I've been full time but I couldn't manage everything, even now I've got appointments coming up they I'll have to take time out for because getting to her school is impossible before the senco goes home, she only works 3 days...

I do need to think about my son, he's 9 and probably Autistic too. Waiting 4 years for a diagnosis so far. I'm an old mum, so I'll be looking after him for another 10 years at least, I need to be working.. partly for my own sanity!

That sounds really tough, OP. Your comment about needing to work for your sanity resonates with me and although I know you are partially joking it is a serious point. I am a much, much better parent to my disabled child because I work, and I make no bones about this.

Might it be feasible for your DD to transfer to the school where you work, at least temporarily?

@ThanksItHasPockets yes definitely, I'm a much better parent when working, I really struggled with maternity leave and whilst I love the holidays, I'm all at sea, I think I'm institutionalised at this point!

I work at a boys school..🙁

This sounds like a tough decision but my gut says to try to stay in your job. You are in a school and a role that you like, already working 4 days a week. I think it would be very hard to replicate that in a few years when you need to return to teaching. Although it feels difficult and exhausting at the moment, I would imagine that being at home full time would be difficult and exhausting in a different way. Would it help to think that you work 4 days a week in a school that is only open 39 weeks of the year? That means that out of 365 days, you work around 156 of them, which is 43% of all days in the year. It helps me to think like this!

Not going to advise either way, just wishing you all the very best.

My son was diagnosed ASD when he was young just after I’d got a new job. I struggled on for a year then left. It was the right decision for me at the time but my husband was earning enough to make it possible. I was very lucky. When I tried later to get a job it was really difficult. Generally, newly qualified teachers seem to make outstanding candidates…I’ve been stuck in Supply work for over 10 years. The flexibility is good in terms of being able to leave at short notice but for most (not all) long term roles you have all the work but low pay. If I had my time over I’d try to retrain in another field while I was at home.

Good luck whatever you decide..

I think you will get work but it might not be paid at current level and might be less secure ie fixed term contract. I commented on your other post as I have two with asd who are now older, one still lives with me and still needs lots of care. I am so glad I kept my work going although it was v challenging to do so and remains tricky. I am now divorced and need a new mortgage if I had given up work ten years ago I would have been in a very tricky situation.

@cansu thank you. I really don't want to give up working or my job, but I'm just not coping. Only been back three days and I've got divorce paperwork to do as ex thought right now was the best time to do it, got the EHCPNA request to fill out paperwork for, meetings with school where DD is angry and anxious at even the mention of going in..oh and trying to get provisional education in place, which she will probably just refuse to do.

I need to keep working but it's all just too much tight now. Also need a new mortgage in 3 years. Won't get enough from the house to get anything we could live in.