Can’t do right for doing wrong

[Downbutnotoutyet]

Anyone about? I really need a wee boost. Am on such a downward spiral just now. My DHT and other SMT only seem to criticise. They never boost you up or say anything positive at all. Little digs, criticism, bullying, negativity, it is relentless. Have never heard them say anything positive or even the word thank you. Now I seem to have a group of parents bad - mouthing me and instead of defending me they appear to be believing everything, despite there being no truth or evidence, just accusations and gossip. Why is it the harder you work and the more you do the less you are thought of. Have done ten hour days for almost the past seven weeks and I am still in the wrong. If I could give up I would. I am totally done in. Sorry for my little pity party. Just have no one I can turn to. No family and no supportive colleagues. I miss being part of a team.

And to top it off I have typos in my post. Honestly! I give up!

Really sorry to hear how down you are feeling @Downbutnotoutyet It can feel so overwhelming, can't it? What age/subject do you teach? I completely understand about the impact of parental complaints - it's something I'm having to deal with a lot too this year. Is there anyone at all in school who you feel comfortable talking to? You say you miss being part of a team - what has changed for you this year so you are not in a team?

Hello @Whatstheweatherlike I feel so stupid now but I have just burst into tears at the fact you care enough to reply. Thank you so much. Oh there are going to be so many typos now as I can hardly see through my tears and steamed up glasses.
I teach upper primary in quite a small school.
There is no one to talk to at all. Everyone just looks after themselves and there is no one to have a proper conversation with. If you look upset all anyone says is “ don’t let it get to you “ but no one is interested in finding out what upset you to begin with. SMT are always in the staffroom so you can’t even have a wee bit of a moan. It is a really strange staff if I’m honest. Lovely kids but demanding parents who we have to give in to all the time. No back up at all, teacher is always in the wrong. I have been at the school a few years but just never feel I fitted in. When I started I used to say good morning when I went in, I actually was asked by someone why I do that as if it is a strange thing to do.
I am not sure why it is getting to me so much this year. Have had that horrible cough going about, have been putting in ridiculous hours and am just done. It is like I have been knocked down once too often and this time I can’t pick myself up.
I am so sorry to hear you are having issues with parents too. I remember when management supported you now they just throw you to the wolves.

I'm So sorry @Downbutnotoutyet

It sounds like a witch hunt and I fear you can never change the rhetoric or shake the label and I would be looking for a new appointment and to leave at Christmas.

I'd also consider taking a week of self certified for a bland reason (pick something weird) not stress.

Can I just add that my current school is a delight to work in. However it has take me 15 years of mostly pretty rough times in a pretty negative
Profession to find the diamond in the rough and it have been so blessed.

Any job where you fear being spoken to is awful and that is basically what teaching is. Except in my school. Too many SLT and heads have this god like power. I don't know how they sleep at night with how they treat their staff. I realise I am very lucky.

I didn't fit in my first school either. I was so shocked at my second school when I got a huge cheery wave as i drove in!

I was also really shocked people left at the end of the day and didn't say goodbye and see you on the morning. They are being very weird about saying good morning.

I remember feeling really sad at my first school, that I was sick no one would bother or care I was off and that I was ill or offer to help set work or check I was ok. Pretty sad we cant have some common decency. It's weird thought too as you would really expect this from colleagues but I just felt short out and shunned.

Anyway it's a pretty intensive profession and you maybe need time off. Can you afford a break? As in quit and go supply? Then find a perm role later.

Ah, that must feel so isolating working in a school with such a strange vibe. Why on Earth do people not even say good morning?? Surely that's just basic manners. It sounds like the others are just keeping their heads down, but there may well be some who are quietly feeling just like you. Could there be an element of fear to show any unhappiness if the SLT are not supportive?
You mentioned that the children are lovely - that's great to hear and easy to forget when every other aspect is so challenging. I'm sorry I don't have any pearls of wisdom, but please do make sure you look after yourself and practise some self care. I know you feel like you're on your own, but you're really not. There are so many teachers out there feeling exactly like you do.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I genuinely cannot express how much it means. The ridiculous thing is I am quite an experienced teacher and in other walks of life am seen as a very strong person. For some reason the environment I am in just makes me feel so useless and worthless. It is like I am the one who is easy to bully and yet I shouldn’t be. I don’t know what I have done differently at this school.
I live on my own and I think that doesn’t help. I ask everyone how their holiday was, if they had a nice weekend etc but it is never reciprocated. I really doubt anyone knows anything about me as they ask nothing yet I am so genuinely interested in them. Maybe I should just stop trying, I don’t think I’d be missed. Thank you again for your comments. Do I sound pathetic when I ask ‘ why can’t people be nice?’ Teaching really does attract some very strange people.

Sorry you’re going through this, I had similar in my last school and left teaching as a result. I messaged one colleague who I had supported with resources etc to say that I had been signed off with WRS and the response I got was ‘That will be a nice extended holiday for you!’ I was constantly undermined by an awful head of department, my timetable was full of only bottom sets with behaviour issues and when I tried to raise issues I was basically told that it must be my fault that their behaviour was poor and that they were not progressing. This was despite me being a very experienced teacher. The staff there were the most strange and unfriendly people I’ve ever encountered! Life outside of teaching couldn’t be more different! Another ex teacher who started just before me in my new job said today that it was lovely to be part of a team who are supportive of their colleagues. I never felt like that in teaching. You either need a new school or a new career, this situation won’t get any better!

Sorry to read this @Downbutnotoutyet. I am in a non teaching role at a school and I am often struck by how blimmin unfriendly schools are. I think anyone who teaches is amazing and it is so sad to think that all you are asking for is a little chat and chance to vent the inevitable stress you are under. It is so frustrating that we can't even do this. There is so much competition. Keep your chin up, you do an amazing job, I hope you can find some people to chat with.

Also I have the chesty cough at the moment and feel really emotional and sad, so just bear in mind you are also probably slightly under the weather.

You may be right @Colourbrain, being under the weather is possibly making it worse. Thank you both for taking the time to reply. i really am lost at the whole sorry situation. The ridiculous thing is although I am not an extrovert by nature I can pretty much speak to anyone and have no problems in other area of my life. I just can’t seem to make any headway in this school at all. I always try to be positive to others and compliment when I can. The management style is the complete opposite. More a case of why say something positive when you can be cruel and hurtful instead. It worries me because it is having a real impact in my self-esteem and is really dragging me down out of school now as well. I am now doubting everything I believed about myself before and wondering what I have done to deserve this treatment. I have always struggled with injustice and the double standards and hypocrisy are really taking their toll. I am sorry for me but I am even sorrier to learn their are others having or have had a tough time too. Is life not hard enough without others deliberately making it harder?

I worked for a HT with his SLT like this - for a term before I quit. He'd had many bullying accusations before taking over our school and it turned out every one of them was justified.

Dressing down staff in front of students. Screaming at his SLT, who in turn shouted at the frontline folk. Criticising staff in front of visitors. Allowing behaviour to slide because he wanted better stats, so nothing was chased up. The school has ridiculous staff turnover and remains toxic.

I work in a school with lovely SLT now and a reasonable Head. The kids can be a bit of a handful, but the overall atmosphere is very positive, so I actually like going into work.

Leave - your mental health is not worth it. You absorb the negativity and it comes out in unwanted ways - either you end up down on yourself or letting the stress out on others around you. Leave.

I could have written your post. Experienced teacher. Moved schools. Feel undermined and questioned all the time. Have gone from being happy to stressed and second guessing myself all the time. I hate it

I was only saying to a colleague yesterday how no one ever tells you well done. Even in a good lesson observation we're always told what THEY think would have made it better.

It's so demoralising.