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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Teaching while caring for a loved one

5 replies

Melrose86 · 16/08/2024 23:00

Hi everyone, I am just looking for advice or to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and can help. And also a rant. I returned to work today after 5 months off as my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I have 2 young children and could not cope with working full time in a very challenging school as well as caring for my husband. I finally managed to change to working part time 3 days a week. Before my husband became ill I was already struggling with the demands of teaching, with more and more children with complex needs, ridiculous expectations and workload. I returned today to find feedback from book monitoring that was given to the supply teacher covering my class a month after I first was absent. So feedback about what I had taught. It was absolutely awful to read, stated there was huge concerns with the books over handwriting, not enough differentiation, not enough in books etc. This has absolutely broken me to come back to, especially as it was shared with someone covering my class and I was not there to defend myself. It made me look and feel like a rubbish teacher. I had spoken to the ht earlier in the year about how challenging the job was, as so many children in the class had additional support needs and one child was violent and I was usually the only adult in class. Sometimes all children had to be doing the same simpler task just to make magaing behaviour easier!

Anyway my point is how am I supposed to cope with this constant criticism and absolutely hating the job, as well as looking after my own kids and looking after my husband? I can't just stay off as we have no idea of the prognosis (husband didn't want to know). Also I long to change career but it is so difficult to get a job where I am and sorting childcare in holidays would be a nightmare. Please help and sorry for rambling on!

OP posts:
Mumwithbaggage · 17/08/2024 15:29

I'm so sorry this is happening to you - what a lot to deal with. And how ridiculous to give feedback from a book look after so long and wrong to share it with someone else. I'm absolutely with you on not being able to differentiate when behaviour is appalling. It really is an impossible task.

Are you a member of Life After Teaching - Exit the Classroom and Thrive fb group? Would thoroughly recommend it if not.

notbelieved · 18/08/2024 08:41

I think some union support might be helpful? what about resigning and going on supply? That way you can work when you want without worrying about what progress looks like in the children's books.

Please take care of yourself here, that's all that matters. You can build your career back up when you're ready.

Melrose86 · 18/08/2024 11:53

Yep I've been following that page for a while. I really would love to leave but it would be so hard money wise and there are so few jobs where I live and no idea how I would manage childcare in the holidays. There's also no supply work here at the moment and a huge number of teachers on supply lists (Scotland). I did have a look at online tutoring but not sure if I'd be able to get enough work x

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CeciliaMars · 19/08/2024 11:26

I am so sorry you find yourself in this position. I was going to suggest supply work until I saw you said there isn't much in your area. I think (and I know it's easier said than done) that you are going to have to develop a hard shell and let things roll off you like water off a duck's back (apologies for the mixed metaphors). Do the best job you can in the time you have, and the energy you have and the rest - well they can b*gger off. There are way more important things going on in your life than book scrutiny. I wish you all the best for the coming months x

Melrose86 · 19/08/2024 20:06

Thank you so much x

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