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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

How to politely tell someone to back off

10 replies

Lilllypad11 · 01/03/2024 17:01

That someone being my manager. I’m the lead of KS3 and lead of literacy. My manager had asked me to fill in a form in relation to literacy updates for the whole school and I did as it needs to be included in our new prospectus. I then said I’m thinking about doing x/y/z also. One was, let’s do x book for the ERIC at the end of x lesson for x amount of time. And her response was “hmm yeah I don’t like that particular text” okay fine, I said we do have a back order on that particular set of books though so shall we just get rid of them or put them somewhere else? Her “yeah but to introduce it I want it to be this book” I said fine okay, fair enough. And just carried on marking.

Then I said I’ve also mentioned getting us set up with a training slot for the new system her response “yeah I did speak to slt about me trying to talk to staff about that at some point”

Overall, I’m just feeling a lot like she’s stepping on my toes with whatever I do with literacy and trying to make it her thing. But it’s actually not, she’s new and I knew from the moment she came in, she wasn’t really going to match up to our previous manager in her people skills. And her repeated phrase of “we’re a team and I’m not a dictator” at the start created suspicions that are now seemingly correct.

im just annoyed, I know my stuff, she’s far less heavily timetabled than me so can look into certain things but I really feel like it makes me look like I’m crap when she seeks things out and starts implementing them without consulting me.

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 02/03/2024 08:32

She's new. She's your manager. She's trying to make her mark. It doesn't sound like she's done anything particularly heinous. It sounds like you miss your previous manager or wish you'd got her role instead. I would cut her some slack and let her find her feet.

Lilllypad11 · 02/03/2024 09:14

CeciliaMars · 02/03/2024 08:32

She's new. She's your manager. She's trying to make her mark. It doesn't sound like she's done anything particularly heinous. It sounds like you miss your previous manager or wish you'd got her role instead. I would cut her some slack and let her find her feet.

I miss my previous manager. She would actively help to drive certain things forward. At the moment it’s just like the new one wants to do her role and my role too.

OP posts:
Lilllypad11 · 02/03/2024 09:15

When I was sorting out the ks3 training session she wanted to do that too. I was a bit confused about that and didn’t really understand why she just wanted to do everything that I’ve already been doing before she arrived.

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 02/03/2024 09:28

Sounds like she is over-stepping a bit, but maybe she is mis-guidedly trying to help, and is almost certainly trying to make her mark. Just be polite and clear, saying 'I can handle this' or 'this has always been part of my role, I'm happy to carry on with it.' I'd say give it a bit of time. And maybe you should go for promotion next time! Good luck.

Lilllypad11 · 02/03/2024 12:00

CeciliaMars · 02/03/2024 09:28

Sounds like she is over-stepping a bit, but maybe she is mis-guidedly trying to help, and is almost certainly trying to make her mark. Just be polite and clear, saying 'I can handle this' or 'this has always been part of my role, I'm happy to carry on with it.' I'd say give it a bit of time. And maybe you should go for promotion next time! Good luck.

Wish I did go for it in hindsight. I’m looking to leave at the end of this year or beginning of next but I’m so conflicted because I adore my students I’ve worked at 4 schools and not once have I had a fondness for all of them the way I do here.

OP posts:
NotStylishOrBeautiful · 02/03/2024 18:12

Pull up your big girl pants, ask for a meeting with her and thrash out what each of your roles entail.

Lilllypad11 · 02/03/2024 21:57

NotStylishOrBeautiful · 02/03/2024 18:12

Pull up your big girl pants, ask for a meeting with her and thrash out what each of your roles entail.

I have considered this. But I wonder if she will think I’m overstepping.

OP posts:
NotStylishOrBeautiful · 02/03/2024 22:04

And if she did think you were overstepping…?

Lilllypad11 · 02/03/2024 22:34

NotStylishOrBeautiful · 02/03/2024 22:04

And if she did think you were overstepping…?

She’s best friends with the head teachers sister🙄

OP posts:
NotStylishOrBeautiful · 03/03/2024 08:54

Asking for a professional conversation isn’t overstepping. If she did think you were, then it would be her problem, not yours. Who she’s friends with is totally irrelevant.

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