SLT - distance yourself from colleagues

[Lizay27]

Promoted to SLT, had great relationship with colleagues. Went out some evenings end of term. I was told by those above me I need to distance myself from my team ie. Not be too pally. I was really offended by this. I still have a great relationship with them and I'm a very friendly person by nature. Anyway another SLT member went on holiday for summer with three of her team members, I just don't understand how she hasn't been told and I have. And again, what business is this to others who I am pally with. As long as I do my job, what is the issue. Offended!

It's an interesting "area". People obviously sometimes make friends with colleagues and become close. As a member of SLT, you obviously have to make decisions, have awkward conversations and deal with difficult situations. Let's say you had to deal with poor performance with one of your pals? Could you implement competence procedures against them, inform them they must improve, advise displinary action against them etc, if they are a really good friend?

If there was a dispute between two members of staff, one of them a good friend, could you remain impartial? Perhaps you could, but I would find that difficult if they were a good friend. It's a difficult one, but I think being "too" friendly with some members of staff, could make it difficult for you and them, when having to make the difficult decisions that SLT have to make.

I agree though, that all members of SLT should be told this, not just you.

Even if you can mentally separate work friendships and your responsibilities, be aware that others may not.

I have learned this the hard way when I was younger and only in a minor management role where I had to pull someone up on something work-related and they blew up at me because I was meant to be their friend. I didn't make the same mistake twice.

When you get to senior levels, you cannot keep the same type of relationships up with people in less senior roles. Your professionalism and trustworthiness will be questioned (not just by those above you, but also by others who see you socialising with less senior colleagues).

Your other senior colleague may have been told the same thing, but have chosen to ignore the advice. You don't know what conversations have been had.