Do I quit?

[OnTheRopes]

I’m an ECT struggling with the loss of any sort of work life balance. I often don’t sleep well as I’m on adrenaline, I do try to limit my working day to 9-10 hours but I find the strain so much I’m exhausted by the end of the day and just flop in the sofa.

I’m also a single mum and feel like I’m doing everything to mediocrity. I can’t switch off from the worry of work and whereas I used to feel anxious on occasion, it’s most days/weekends. I’m not sure if the anxiety is my age and is causing the unhappiness at work or whether it is the result of the difficulties I am finding doing the job.

the wider school is by and large supportive but I have a couple of the most difficult classes. I haven’t received the full mentor support I am meant to and my immediate line managers left me to it for a while and then came down on me like a tonne of bricks for my failings (off the record).

i dream of a simpler life, a bit more time for myself. I have worked in different industries so am looking at other jobs with a view to leaving if I can find a good fit.

I’m trying to tell myself that it’s ok to leave something that is not working out and making me so unhappy, but I do worry that I haven’t given it a proper chance. Or that if I just did xyz a bit better then I’d feel happier.

Is there anything you can do to make life easier? Are you overthinking and over planning?

I class share with a newish teacher and she is constantly making random lists of groupings of children and she sends me endless emails instead of just talking to me at school. On her PPA session she can send me 4 -5 emails as she makes her way through her thought process. She makes so much more work for herself.

I'm not saying you do this but sometimes we can't see that what we're doing is actually making work for ourselves.

Hi OP, sorry you are in this position. I don't blame you for wanting to get out in that position. There are a couple of things you could try in the meantime though. If your mentor is not doing their job properly, your first point of call should be whoever oversees the ect programme at your school and if still no luck, your ect programme will probably be affiliated with someone, so you can complain to them. They are not hesitant to hold you to high standards in your job, so hold them to high standards in theirs too. You could also try a different school as not all of them are this bad. If they continue to act like dicks, give your notice in on the last day of the next deadline so they won't have time to recruit someone already employed until a September start.

If you're not getting the right support and then getting informally criticised, do speak to your union and your appropriate body. They will hopefully be able to ensure you get the right support in place.

It may also be worth considering part time or a different school?

The ECT head is also my line manager. I did tell them I thought it was inappropriate to do what they did when they are trying to get the best out of me for the students, but they did not back down.
Apart from not being as efficient as a new member of staff I definitely try to only do what is necessary. But even that is proving exhausting which is why I wonder if I just don’t have the stamina required, might be different if I was younger and had more support at home.

thanks for replies, part time might be the answer, to get a bit more breathing space. I am really trying to improve but I want to enjoy my life as well as succeed.

Is there anyone in the school or department who you can ask for help?
It is an extremely hard career to start especially if you have young kids. It may also be the school. What exactly are you struggling the most with? Perhaps people can make some suggestions.

Currently an ECT 1. I am in a very supportive school and have never regarded my self as an anxious person and I have never suffered from anxiety. but the job is making me anxious. I run on adrenaline and cannot sleep properly.
Even with centralised planning, good behaviour , a supportive department and Friday's off ( I am 0.8) I still find it very hard.
I will be looking for more of a normal job in the future. I am looking at student advisor for a university where I can work from home or something similar

@orangeblossom23 that makes me feel better, because I too am finding it very difficult.

i am struggling with the behaviour in some v difficult classes who are infamous in the school and experienced teachers struggle with. At times I am battling low level disruption rather than teaching. I also have a couple of classes where the students are not working hard enough and I’m not sure how to get more out of them.

During my PGCE year I realised how bad behaviour could be. When I observed my then head of department she could barely get 15 minutes of a lesson with a 8 class.
The standards for behaviour are very low and it is hard for some schools to turn the tide now.
My school is very strict and it works for me, I understand I am dealing with teenagers but I did not get into the profession to be a comedian or to do crowd control.
I finished working at eleven pm yesterday
( marking lots of GCSE mocks )
I am seriously considering a change after my ECT 2 is done but might do even earlier
Unfortunately as teachers it seems we get the wrong end of the stick sometimes
People do not understand and they say we complain all the time. My sister works for the civil service and she only works contract hours and is progressing nicely...

So sorry you are going through this, it's so rough. I promise it does get easier but that doesn't help you right now.

What exactly is leading you to work 9-10 hours a day? And what can be put in place to help? For example if planning is taking ages - can someone else in your department share their lessons with you so you're not working from scratch? If marking is taking too long, can you do whole-class feedback to save time? Are you getting 'stuck' and spending ages making decisions - who are some other supportive colleagues who can help you if your mentor is rubbish?

What would help you with your difficult classes? In my NQT year I used to really struggle with some difficult classes, I asked anyone I could (head of year, head of dept, mentor etc) to swing by regularly/sit in the back to help out, is there anyone who could do that for you?

Every week I have SEN reports to do, behaviour reports, CPD and my ECT training. I only really tinker with existing lessons but some of these need to be massively scaffolded for some classes. My subject requires printing, and I add things onto electronic classrooms. I also go through each new lesson to ensure I understand it. I log things safeguarding things almost daily, calls to parents, internal meetings, Learning walks.
every day I stay either 1-2 hours on top of the working day and arrive early.

i do have some supportive colleagues but I feel very much watched and judged by my induction tutor. I have learnt she just wants me to do everything the way she tells me, Nevermind what my mentor or training programme says.

Friday was such a crazy day. Due to some behavioural stuff/fighting I didn’t take a sip of a drink or eat all day.

next week I’ve lost over 2 free periods to scheduled meetings and have approximately 5.5 hours of meetings/training booked after school. So anything else mentioned above I’m not even sure when I will fit it in. I’m exhausted after looking after my own children this weekend and planning to start work very soon tonight. I feel like I’m coming down with a cold, hopefully not a bad one.

You poor thing, this sounds so tough. Do you have a wellbeing lead at school that you can talk to? Do you HAVE to go to the after school meetings/training, is there any way you can be excused from them?

It’s all compulsory. I could miss my training but I’d have to make it up at a later date. I guess what I wonder is, if it is going to be so hard ongoing do I just find myself a 9-5 job I can leave behind at the end of the day.
and after the off the record telling off I received I don’t trust the people who are line managing me. Im pretty bitter about that. There probably is someone responsible for well-being but I feel like I can’t say anything in confidence. Plus when I was told off one of the things they highlighted was working through lunch. Sometimes I feel I have no choice, but this is viewed as me sabotaging my own well being.
Monday morning feelings here. Must get up

I find that irritating that they blame you for not taking care of your wellbeing because " you work through lunch". It's funny how all these demands are placed on us... when do they think we will get everything done?
I honestly do not think it is worth it :(
I work 45- 50 hours a week on 0.8. So 4 days a week and the pay cut is significant
When my ect years are done I am considering an alternative career where I can work 40 hours max and get a full wage.

my well-being is shot. I’m so stressed all the time, can’t sleep, I feel ill. Anyone I confide in encourages me not to give up, it’s only the people I trained with who understand just how desperate I feel. Yet I’m scared of quitting and the effect that will have on my self esteem.
i need to learn how to leave the stress and worry behind if I am to continue. But it’s so difficult not to worry. Anyway not sure what I’m saying but a decent paid 9-5 sounds delightful

Teaching is not competitive enough for what they require us to do. In the civil service people are working a normal work week ( 35-40 hours) for similar money.
Also if you dont want to move up to senior leadership the max pay ( excluding London ) for UPS 3 is about 46 K ... it is not great