Managing work when you have personal issues.

[PumpkinPie2016]

Morning 🙂

I just wanted to have an outlet really as I haven't spoken with anyone in my school about this but I'm having a tough time at the moment ☹

I'm a core subject HoD in a new secondary school that opened last year. I love my job (mostly lol) genuinely love curriculum/pedagogy and being in class. My department is great and while there are always things to work on, I'm pleased with what we are achieving. Feedback from Head is really positive.

That said, I have found it quite hard to feel settled in the school. Not sure why really, I just don't quite feel I fit in. I was at my last school for a number of years so maybe that's why. I did speak to the head about it and she was lovely and supportive, emphasised that they are very happy with my work etc. It still niggles but I am trying to just keep focused on my role.

Getting to the point though (and perhaps the reason I am struggling to feel settled) my mum is currently not well and has had a womb biopsy which we are awaiting results of. She is 62 so post menopause but has been having issues hence the biopsy. Despite my best efforts, I am really worried about the results and what they may be as one option is cancer 😥😥😥 obviously we don't know yet and nothing will change the result anyway but I am feeling very emotional at the moment. I lost my wonderful Nan to cancer 3 years ago so this has dragged a lot of memories up.

Even if it isn't cancerous, it may be that a full hysterectomy is needed which is obviously massive surgery with a long recovery.

I'm just so worried about the results and what is to come in the aftermath as no doubt she and my dad will need support and much of that will fall to me. I absolutely don't mind that but it is hard on top of everything else. I have a brother but he does not live locally and my sister isn't really the helping sort.

As I say, I haven't spoken to anyone at school about it - I just wouldn't know where to start and because I don't feel that settled, it's hard to know who to talk to. There's nothing anyone can do, obviously, but at my last school, when I went through it with my Nan, I had people to talk to/people who would ask how I was etc.

I'm actually not sure what the point of this post is now 😔 I suppose I'm just battling putting a brave face on for my team etc and inside I just feel awful and so fragile 😕

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

Your head was lovely and supportive before

so trust that she will be the same if you drop her an email with all the above in

I teach in a small rural primary school and have ongoing health issues. I had breast cancer is 2021 and now my health is affected by severe asthma (possibly from radiotherapy treatment) so I've had quite a bit of absence and just haven't 'felt myself' for a good while.

It's very hard putting on a good front when you don't feel yourself.

My head teacher has tried to be supportive (it's not always been handled correctly ) and on the whole he's understanding.

The only thing you can do is lean on your colleagues and friends outside of work for support and advice.

Sorry to hear you're facing all this worry. I understand you're not sure what to say right now, while it's all still unknowns, but I would definitely talk to your Headteacher and team should the worst news come, so they understand what you're going through and can help support you as best they can. They may surprise you. Even if you don't feel you have that relationship with them yet, relationships are built through getting to know each other and that means sharing the bad as well as the good.

I truly hope it's not bad news and your mum gets better soon, but please do lean on your colleagues if you need to.

Have you got access to free employment support and or counselling via Employee Assist programmr @PumpkinPie2016? As a starter.

Thank you for all of the kind and understanding replies 💗

@BG2015 sorry you have also had such an awful time. I am pleased that your school have been largely supportive!

@JanglyBeads I think we might have - thanks for reminding me, I will check this week as that will be confidential outside of school.

I have a line management meeting this week with the deputy head. She is super lovely so I may have to brave telling her. I just feel so alone in school 😔