Anyone else work in school pastoral care / safeguarding and feel completely burnt out

[Gonetothewind]

Just looking for support / solidarity really and for any advice on how to get through the next few days. In tears already at the thought of going back into work tomorrow. I am really experienced and good at what I do but this year is unlike any I have known before. On an almost daily basis I am dealing with self herm, severe anxiety, suicide attempts, neglect and school refusers.. On top of these there are behaviour issues to sort and no end of meetings both internal and external with other agencies. I can't keep on top of it and worried that I will do something wrong or miss something. I am prioritising the serious safeguarding cases but getting pressure from everywhere, SLT, teachers and parents. It sounds awful as I love the kids but I just don't want to deal with other people's problems anyone.

Head of Safeguarding in a large FE college. It's the worst we have ever known it. Behaviour is horrendous, unpredictable and increasingly violent. Our roles are beyond what is safe, manageable and acceptable. Parent behaviour is unstable,aggressive and entitled.
Staff burnout is not far off and we are a well resourced team.
I haven't even mentioned mental health.

It’s really tough. I don’t think I’m burning out yet but some days are really tough.

Yesterday I dealt with a case that really shook me.

I’m relatively new to the DSL role (about a year in) and don’t really think that anyone should do it for too many years. I took the role over from a colleague who burnt out. I’d like to do a few academic years and then pass on the baton to another senior colleague and do something else.

Yes, I agree that there is only a certain amount of time that it is wise to do a role like this for. I actually had an ok day today, no major incidents so feeling a little better about things. I just keep trying to think of the positives about the job and what makes it worthwhile. Sorry that others are finding it hard going too though.

It is really really bad our there, not sure what to say except a handhold. It's been relentless since day 1 here.
Are u the DSL? Could you reach out for some support?

HOY (ks4) and it's horrendous. I think I might quit this year. Parents are unbelievably entitled and becoming more and more aggressive and the push to get the grades from SLT is huge. It's causing massive friction between parents who don't think their child should do HWK so picking fights with staff, and then staff who are under so much pressure to get the predicted grades. This year is definitely worse because we've spent so many years since covid putting MH first that the kids are used to getting out of doing anything extra or even remaining in the classroom. Now the data is back to being published it can't go on like that. I think last year's results will trigger an ofsted who were already on the fence at putting us in RI.

@WedRine I'm so sorry 😔 sending you lots of patience.

KS4 teacher here. Come on tonight just to see if it was as bad out there as it is at work. Honestly on my knees. Half my group GCSE group are vulnerable to the point of being suicidal. If I push them, I'm getting complaints from the parents, if I don't, I know my results will be shocking. SLT have gone AWOL - I think in all fairness they're drowning under the workload. I still love teaching, love my classes but I can't deal with so many different hats any more. I've just been on Indeed looking at jobs but in my area, teaching is still one of the better paid jobs and I'm beginning to think I'm a bit long in the tooth to do much else.

Pastoral role here in KS4. We have groups of pupils who are wandering the corridors in a gang mentality, ruining teaching and learning and being aggressive and threatening to staff who challenge them.

We have definitely over-played the softly softly approach because of the effects of isolation through covid and now we see too many pupils, foul-mouthed and self entitled, zero interest in ANY provision that's tailored to them, refusing to
Leave site, running the corridors and showing real aggression to staff. We have nowhere to place them. PRU's have shrunk to nothing and exclusions are challenged and over turned by our
County. A colleague of mine was punched in the head before half term and the culprit only had 3 days exclusion. They didn't even say sorry.

Gosh it sounds awful everywhere. Our school is in a relatively deprived area with lots of social problems anyway but I definitely agree that the softly softly approach with the kids during and after COVID has not benefitted anyone. I have so many that are just refusing to go to lessons and I am getting constant demands from teachers and SLT to do something about it. I had a meeting with the head on Thursday to go through my main concerns but everyone just seems so busy at the moment with their own workloads. I have been up since 6 this morning logging incidents and updates from this week. @Foxesandsquirrels I am the pastoral lead., have a DSL above me but they are absolutely swapped and constantly out attending meetings or teaching. I am left to deal with everything that happens during the day. I really don't know how it will get better, the kids are just so defiant.

Gosh I'm so sorry. Our DSL gave their notice in before the deadline so they're leaving at Christmas. They've been in the role 6 years!! No idea what we're going to do as they're a fountain of knowledge and even the most difficult kids trust them. Spoke to them yesterday and as the day to day is insane (we're now on 7+ serious incidents a day Vs max 2 pre COVID) so it's difficult to do a proper handover. Their timetable has been dropped but still no time.
It's frightening really.

I'm a curriculum leader so my only pastoral role is as a form tutor but even that is bloody difficult.

I currently have 2 in my form who I am supporting (along with family members) due to safeguarding issues. One grandma just poured her heart out to me one eve this week - I just sat in my car and cried after 😥

On top of that, I have one with long term medical issues who again, I support along with keeping in touch with the family.

Two with EHCPs and no additional support in form time (it's half an hour a day).

A number with anxiety issues.

Then a few who just get on with things but who I feel I have zero time for 😔

Trying to support them all, on top of leading a core subject which I only get 2 additional frees a week for is so, so hard and I'm not even getting the worst of it. Our DSL is amazing but even she said its crazy at the moment.

Honestly finished this week feeling like no one is getting a good deal out of me - my form/classes/department. There just isn't enough hours in a day.

This resonates. I’m a deputy DSL in secondary. I’m also the pastoral manager, I sit above a team of year managers. 1 left at the end last year and they won’t be replaced (due to recruitment freeze) so I am doing an equal share of the day to day. I now have no management time to put anything in place. I oversee the mental health provision too but can’t review anything or look around for other interventions etc. I am the trauma informed practitioner but haven’t had chance to implement any changes yet and have no forum for this. staff wellbeing is at an all time low, everyone is blaming everyone else for everything. Everything PP’s have said above about mental health, lesson refusal, gang mentality etc is so true. I’m getting so many emails from teachers demanding I bring so and so to the lesson. One child went directly from school to A&E to the crisis team but I have one of their teachers hassling me daily about truancy and after school detentions fir refusal. Then there are the students that just say no, this can result in a suspension - my team contact home, do the paperwork, hold them while waiting to be picked up, organise and hold a reintergration meeting, complete and upload the paperwork for this and then put any actions in place.

we have had some horrendous disclosures recently and as if september have lost my supervision. It was proper external clinical supervision. Was supposed to be replaced by in house supervision, not had any so far.

Things are about to get worse due to 2 staff members leaving the wider pastoral team. There is currently no light at the end of the tunnel🥺

@Midlifecryses Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. Why did the supervision end?

@Foxesandsquirrels partly due to funding (no other school in the MAT has it) and partly because the member if the team that left thanked the supervisor in a farewell email for giving her the tools to leave🙈 trouble is I have only ever done the job with supervision so have Got used to working through certain things with him. For example I have a student that ended up under CAMHS this year, my irrational brain is telling me I didn’t do enough last year etc. this is the kind if thing I would take to supervision.

Wow..... Could you run it past your DSL? Do they have supervision?

@Foxesandsquirrels yes I will do. They still have it so we will eventually do something with DSL and someone from the MAT I think.

Out of interest, are all DSLs required to have supervision? Also, never blame yourself for any of this, without your support that student likely would've ended up under camhs a long time ago.

I’m DSL and I’ve never heard of a DSL having supervision. We flipping well should though! I’m also SENCo and a few other roles and the SENCo part in particular would also benefit from supervision.

Are u in a primary? Never heard of SENCO being DSL too

Yes, primary.

What form entry? Jesus Christ how do u manage both?
I agree about senco having supervision btw.

2 form entry and I have no idea how I do both.

I don’t think it’s required for the DSL to have supervision but it’s very much on the up from all of the safeguarding training I’ve done.

I'm intrigued what that would even look like though. Do you just run a case past them? How much personal details do you miss out? I think supervision would stress me out!

Daily self harm and patching up fresh cuts. Vulnerable students you get paranoid about if they don't arrive at lesson within 5 minutes. Overdose yesterday. Anxiety everywhere. Staff included.

Pastoral is underpaid and undervalued, yet they do one of the hardest jobs in education. One of our team is currently off with long term stress, and crying isn't unusual from staff.

This year, we say it every year, is bloody hard and feels like it's getting worse 😥

You are only human.