2nd year as a primary TA. Moved this year from KS1 to KS2. Previously worked in a very busy, long hour job with a 2h commute (although this was a decade ago before kids.) At the moment I'm finding it really tough at work, I'm struggling with behaviour management and rudeness from children that are angelic towards other staff. The children are older, as a year group they are particularly challenging, the curriculum is different, class teachers are different in terms of experience and the way they do things and their deployment of TAs is different. Most of the other KS2 support staff have been there before, been TAs before, or are 1:1s, so have gone through the school with their classes. Basically it's a hell of a learning curve and I'm at the bottom trying to scrabble up. I know to keep the faith that it will get easier and more familiar, but right now that feels a way off! For someone who isn't normally emotional there have been frequent tears at work (in front of staff, not kids.) Thankfully I have amazing support from my year group team and SLT, they will make lots of time for me and support me in any way they can. Even though I currently feel like the world's most needy TA and completely incompetent, I know deep down that people don't think that and appreciate how hard it is. I know I am incredibly lucky in this respect.
However, l feel absolutely drained even though I only work until 12.15. I am getting nothing done between getting home (10 min walk away) and 3.00 when I leave to get my two children (8 & 10.) I feel very ashamed of this as other staff obviously work longer hours, do work at home,work full time etc, and there are many people with much more stressful jobs who still manage to keep on top of things. Do any other part time TAs feel like this? Or has anyone else had the experience of moving year group and finding it insanely difficult? Being so drained by only a few hours that I get nothing done at home makes me feel really ashamed. I have a supportive husband who works long hours in a stressful job, but earns a good wage so we have a very comfortable lifestyle and helps out as much as he can. We have a nice house and good relationships with extended family. My children are also doing fine at school, no send or other additional needs and are healthy, as are the rest of our family. Aside from work stress, I literally have nothing else to worry about in life, so I'm not sure why 3 hours a day takes so much out of me. I'm not on physically tired specifically, so I don't think I am ill, but the role feels intense enough to emotionally drain me. I'm trying to be kind to myself and say that it is just because we are early in the year for kids and adults, but wanted to see if any other TAs who only work mornings felt the same. Or have you had a similar experience previously and how long did it take you to get a handle on things? How did you cope when it looked as if the kids respected every other member of staff but you?
I don't feel I want to leave the role or be signed off or anything as I'm not ill per se, at work I'm giving 100% which my colleagues and SLT recognise, and I'm managing supporting my own kids with homework, clubs etc ok. We eat regular healthy meals, have clean clothes and I'm able to get out of bed, look after myself etc so I'm not depressed, but I just feel so drained after work. I said last year I'd be happy to work afternoons to do interventions but now I'm dreading being asked to do some, even though I enjoyed them last year.
Please tell me I'm not alone. One thing that does help is hearing other people say "I see you. I get it. I've been there." Help!