How to deal with parent being rude towards me.

[Bubblingblack]

My school has very loose policies around parents coming into classrooms, so I have no power to change this but…

This morning a parent walked into my classroom whilst I was getting the children started with their activities and demanded to speak with me. She was instantly very hostile towards me and accused me of victimising her child because I had told her that she needed to bring her library book back before I could let her borrow another one.

Apparently their daughter has always been allowed to keep taking books from the school library in previous school years regardless of whether she’d returned them or not.

She said I was victimising her daughter and that I was picking on her based on her parents forgetting.

I reassured her that it was just a policy and that her daughter had appeared very accepting of this at the time. She continued to insist that I had knocked her daughter’s confidence and had not made a good first impression.

For context this child is a joy to teach. Very positive, outgoing and confident. I can’t think of a single negative interaction since she started in my class.

Later on in the day she wanted to meet with me again and proceeded to make the same points repeatedly and I continued to reassure her that her daughter would be allowed from now on to take books without returning the previous ones.

She just carried on and on and on using an accusatory tone towards me and insisting that I never let this happen again!

I feel violated that she can enter my workspace whilst children are there, without warning, complain to me about her perception of my practice and then double down on her assertions again at the end of the day.

Surely I have some rights in this context?

Next time (if she says she needs a word), I think I will just say that I am busy at the moment but that she would be welcome to send me an outline of what she wants to say and then I could arrange a meeting with the head teacher to discuss the contents further. Do you think this sounds reasonable?

Thank you!

This morning a parent walked into my classroom whilst I was getting the children started with their activities and demanded to speak with me.

I would tell them they need to sign in at the main office before entering the building for H&S / fire regulations and send them back out onto the playground, then say if they'd like to meet with me to discuss the library books they could meet me after school on Thursday at 3:45pm for 10mins, they'd have to sign in and I'd meet with them in the [nearest public space to the main office].

Unfortunately, my school just lets parents do what they want.
Probably how they’ve become so bold by the time children reach my class 😔.

I think you need to get the head to introduce some boundaries here - specifically that (except for urgent issues), the time to speak to staff is after school, not when you are trying to start teaching (with, obviously, some arrangement for parents who don't do pick-up - such as booking in advance to come 10 minutes before classroom doors open).

It sounds as if this wasn't even a case of a parent who doesn't do pick-up so can't talk to you then.

If the head isn't going to play on that, put a notice on your classroom door/window along the lines of Parents: If you need to raise an issue with me, please wait until other pupils have left at the end of the day. If this is not possible for you, please contact the office to arrange a time, so that teaching is not disrupted.

This is a serious safeguarding issue, not to mention a workplace safety issue for you. Random adults should not be able to just walk into a school.
If your Head won't listen, I'd get your union rep involved.

This is totally unacceptable. No adult, other than staff, should be able to walk into your classroom. Serious safeguarding issue. Hard for you to address if leaders think it’s ok but I think I would just politely say ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to you at the moment as I’m teaching, but do book a time to meet with me after school’.

I would also mention this scenario to leaders and ask for advice. The school seems stuck in the past, but they have a duty to protect you

Is this a state school in the UK? I can't work out if you are blasé or simply resigned to the apparent norm of parents being able to walk into your classroom but please take the shocked reaction on this thread as a clear indication that it is completely unacceptable and a major safeguarding risk. You need to raise this concern in writing with the headteacher tomorrow. If they do not address the issue you can go to the chair of governors or LADO at the local authority, and you can also whistleblow to Ofsted.

I’m not being blasé, trust me- I have worked in many schools and it is just as shocking to me as it ever has been but our leaders do nothing about it so I can’t change that.
I’ve flagged it up in writing and verbally many times.

I am sorry if I sound harsh OP but as you will know from your reading of KCSIE and your statutory safeguarding training there is plenty that you can and must do if your school leaders are derelict in their safeguarding duties.

Surely parents just being able to wander in is a massive safeguarding issue! Have you had Ofsted recently?

A school without boundaries is one I would not work in. You need to be raising these issues or leaving. Is this in the UK? Is it state or independent?

It’s independent and it’s convenient to my life as whole but my god, it’s got some serious policy issues.

Not my problem. I’ve raised it. There’s a LOT of written evidence that I’ve raised it.
Colleagues have raised it.

It is my problem however, when horrible rude parents think that it’s okay to shout at me in my classroom for the most meagre of gripes as and when they feel they’d like to put me in my place.

My union are aware.

My boss has been asked explicitly for support from me.

What happens next is in their court.

I would put in writing that this parent made you feel unsafe at work, and ask how the school intent to keep you safe/protect you from abuse at work?

It sounds like your school aren't going to change though, so no matter how convenient, I'd be looking for another job.

When I left I'd probably report safeguarding concerns to the ISI.