How bad is it to quit already?

[WhyShouldThatMeanItIsntReal]

I already know the answer deep down.
I started a TA job back in May, a one year maternity cover. It’s part time, and initially I loved it. First job in 5 years as I’ve been a SAHM (though a primary school teacher before that).

This year they’ve put me with a horrendous class, probably because I’m an ex-teacher so I can “handle it”. But actually, I can’t. Me and the teacher have been in tears. They have no respect, aren’t scared of consequences (mainly because there aren’t any and the Head is wishy-washy) and I’m emotionally drained. I’m not scared of a challenge but this is another level.

Also, when I was applying for jobs at Easter, there were alot of 1-1 TA positions being advertised. I deliberately didn’t apply for those because that is not what I want to do, I want to be a teaching assistant and support learning. Well lo and behold I’ve been given 1-1 time with the most disruptive and disrespectful child, who does not listen to me and makes me feel completely stupid and useless.

We are 3 weeks into this term and I’m ready to throw in the towel.
If I left, I’d have 4 weeks of working my notice, complete with awkward interactions with everyone. I’d be so embarrassed. Plus I’d have nothing to go to and no chance of a good reference.
But the alternative is sticking it out and I don’t know that I have it in me.

Hiya,

I started at my current school at Easter. Within a few weeks I realised it wasn’t the place for me. I agonised over what to do for ages but I’ve applied for other jobs and am leaving at Christmas. Similar kind of environment to your school - servers lack of respect and meaningful consequences, kids know they can get away with being rude and disruptive.

As much as it looks ‘bad’ on a CV, staying somewhere where you’re unhappy is hard work and it’ll make every day feel impossible. I’ve framed my reasons for leaving on applications as being ‘not being able to work effectively due to the school’s values not aligning with my own’.

I’d honestly say go with your gut feeling and do what will make you happiest. Since making my decision I’ve felt a huge sense of relief, even when the kids are giving me a hard time!

Feel free to PM me 😊

Good luck xx

*severe

Well they've given you work you didn't apply for and are not supported in it anyway. @littlemisspetite 's suggested phrasing is a good one.

Life is too short for what you're going through and no-one will look after you except you. While I wouldn't trumpet my real reasons, everyone will know and maybe the sackless HT will realise.

Good luck.

"Well lo and behold I’ve been given 1-1 time with the most disruptive and disrespectful child,"
Sorry but if you see disabled children as disruptive and disrespectful then quitting is the best thing you can do.

@titbumwillypoo Are you on the wrong thread? I can't see anywhere that the OP has said it's about a disabled child. She uses the words 'disrespectful' and 'disruptive', but not 'disabled'.

What on earth makes you think the OP is talking about a 'disabled' child?

Might you be projecting a tad?

I changed it to disabled because the only children generally getting ANY sort of 1-1 support nowadays are those with an ECHP and funding or those on the pathway towards it. Schools neither have the funding or staff available for children who are a bit naughty.
Also "respect" has to be earnt, the OP comes across as someone who just wants to work with naice compliant children and that hasn't been the role of TA's for years and see's a challenging child beneath her skills and the child will certainly pick up on that.

Children with disabilities can also be disruptive! They’re not mutually exclusive.

Thank you so much to the posters who offered support, advice, and PMs. Whilst I posted at the end of yet another very tricky day, and was ranting away, it was still lovely to hear from some kind people who wanted to offer some sympathy and some support. Thank you.

The child I have been told to work with 1-1 has not been diagnosed with any disability, and has no funding for 1-1 at all. However we work with this child on a 1-1 basis because their disruptive behaviour impacts negatively on the rest of the class, which is completely unfair. I do not have a medical degree and therefore cannot say if this child has a medical condition, nor if they qualify for funding for 1-1 support.
Neither can anyone else on an anonymous forum who has never met said child.

Whether or not me wanting to work with “naice” children (what a gross statement) is an objectionable concept to some people, the fact remains that I did not apply for 1-1 positions. This is not what I want to do as a career. Perhaps I was naive to think that not applying for 1-1 positions would guarantee that I wouldn’t end up doing this for at least part of my timetable. But it feels underhand that this has been imposed upon me once I’ve signed my contract.

A friend is a TA in a Year 6 class in a local school, and has heard there will be work doing booster groups and small group work being advertised soon, so I’ve decided this is the route to take. I’m pleased I’ve found a way forward that uses my skills and experience.

I won’t rise to the bait of the poster who implied I was “above” working with children with disabilities, as again, this is an anonymous forum, and therefore they don’t know that in the past I have worked with children with Autism, ADHD, cerebral palsy, behavioural issues, and children in care. Who knows if this poster was projecting, or simply bored and hoping to start an argument to pass the time, but either way it is not my concern.

Thanks again to those posters who took the time to offer help and advice. Life is short, indeed.
Have a great weekend!

Hi OP. I'm a primary teacher and couldn't do many 1:1 roles. It's just not for me and I think I'd find the role very frustrating. Unfortunately (and perhaps differently to when you taught) there are almost no TA jobs that aren't either HLTA PPA cover (which you could do as a former teacher) or 1:1. Our one very general TA ends up doing 1:1 very frequently to cover sickness, resignations etc. Just making you aware that what has happened at your current school might well happen elsewhere. If you possibly can, I'd stick it out for a few more weeks to see if it gets better. You need to build a relationship with the child. Do you have outside agencies involved?

Hi. I am secondary but took a number of years outs with a disabled child.

I accepted a 1:1 job at an SEN school after applying for a class TA job.

It was the most exhausting job I have ever done. (And I have subsequently been a Supply Teacher in a school for teens excluded from more than 1 school).

It isn’t great but I would leave as soon as possible. It encourages schools and agencies to pressure you into accepting a job below qualified teacher level, but expected to step up when necessary.

I believe it damaged my career.

Alternatively, you could maybe apply for other jobs while you’re working there.

Dont feel guilty about leaving. Check your contract for the minimum amount of notice you have to give.

Good luck.

What a nasty, judgemental comment. Wow.

Hey OP.
I’ve posted a very similar thread.
I applied for a classroom teacher role with a particular year group but since joining I’ve been put with a different year group and a leadership role and have been advised that ‘ALL primary teachers must take on leaderships roles.’
Im just a few weeks in and it’s making me miserable. I feel I’ve made a huge mistake in joining my school as the children are beyond disrespectful and there are no sanctions for their terrible behaviour. I feel it’s shattering my confidence and reputation.
No job is worth that, but like you, I feel anxious about the prospect of handing my notice in and having awkward interactions for half a term until I’ve worked my notice.
Please let me know what you decide and feel free to message me. X