I want to quit before i have even started

[pinkginfizz9]

( i accidentally posted this on another thread so you may have seen it before)
I am 20 (but look much younger)and coming to the end of a 3rd year primary ed with qts degree.
I actually love the teaching bit, and i love working with the children.I have done 3 placements and have received glowing feedback on all my observations. The problem is I dont feel the chilldren respect me and i think my behaviour management is not great. When i try to raise this with my cbt and the HT, all i get is ' you are doing fine' and ' they would be like that for anyone' and that i just notice it more because i am the teacher. The problem is that all my placements have gone the same way- after the first day or two I am left completely on my own nearly all day everyday and not getting any input from my teacher to help me improve.There are so many children with severe special needs with seemingly no support and , although everyone is nice, I sense teh toxic undertones and the ever present fear of judgmernt hanging over everyone's head.
The planning takes forever, even though i am a very organised person and work quickly because (without being too outing) teh school require use of a certain feature which is only available on school computers and I have to make all my own resources for every lesson.I never get PPA, I am expected to supervise the children whilst i do it.
The school i am working in atm has nearly all long term supply teachers which I feel is a big red flag.It is currently an outstanding school. It is VERY competitive to get a job in this area (adverts getting 30-60+ applicants) so realistically this school is probably going to be my only option.
I really am only getting through because there is an end in sight. I dont think i want to teach next year (if i even get a job!) I wonder if I should do TA work instead for a while.

,

Obviously I don't know what area you are in but it seems very odd to me too be restricting yourself to just one school.

You're only 20. Is there anything stopping you from moving to an area where teachers are more in demand, where you will have much more choice?

Have you contacted your university tutor about the PPA situation?

You should definitely look elsewhere. The town where I am we have primary jobs where no-one applies, or people don’t show up for interview. If you want to stay in the place where your uni is based those areas are often overflowing with teachers, but if you’re able to look further afield, there are a lot of jobs.

I had the exact same experience as you, my last placement was so stressful and I was so unsupported that I couldn't see myself teaching again. I worked as school support staff for 7 years and then went back to teaching when I was 28. I felt so much more confident because I was older and had more experience. But that's just me.

As previous poster said, definitely speak to your uni tutor about lack of support and PPA time. They should support you.