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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Do I need to develop a thicker skin at work?

17 replies

WhimsicalLayer · 08/05/2023 23:13

I would like to preface this by saying, please tell me if I need to get a grip. I’m not in the best mental state so I could be extremely over reacting.

Today I received an email that made me feel
somewhat inadequate, I do the best I can and always work extremely hard. The email states that he was doing a learning walk, unbeknownst to me. Annoyingly 5 mins before I needed to be up, the printer jammed because the person in front was doing booklets. (Admittedly, this is bad planning on my behalf and I should have done it the night before but my sister has had covid so I’ve been running around doing errands.) I arrived in my classroom bang on time but things weren’t set up, my fault, I know, however no children arrived so I kept and eye on the door and quickly set up. I’ve never done this before. I always ensure I’m prepared the night before.

The email about this unannounced learning walk effectively read “Here is some feedback I wanted to give you. I performed my learning walk, you arrived late, room was not ready, lesson was a slow start, can I remind you of the expectations around lesson start times. We must be prepared at least 5 mins before hand to allow a swift start to the lesson with no hiccups as this is a non negotiable. I’m aware you had excellent feedback earlier on in the week from , and I know this isn’t something you do, but I wanted you to be aware for the rest of this weeks planning”

As mentioned, I’m never ever late, this was the one occasion I was dealing with a printer issue, and, I’m worried about my sister so my mental health isn’t in the right place. I’m always at least 20 mins ahead of schedule, but that day I was not on top form.

I also want to add. I try and do my best to go above and beyond to help others in the team if we fall behind and I’ll always do my best to help or stay over late.

Honestly, I would much prefer people to talk to me face to face about feedback they have, rather than do it all on email and pretend nothing was said.

I feel the need to talk about this to my manager, because, I feel this could have been done in person, I accept ofsted is looming and we need to brush up, but the tone of the email has really thrown me. How do I approach this?

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 08/05/2023 23:50

Did you reply when you had excellent feedback?

If everything mentioned is truthful I would quietly roll my eyes and moving on without response.

You know your strengths - show him what your made of next time.

WhimsicalLayer · 08/05/2023 23:54

TortolaParadise · 08/05/2023 23:50

Did you reply when you had excellent feedback?

If everything mentioned is truthful I would quietly roll my eyes and moving on without response.

You know your strengths - show him what your made of next time.

I said thank you when I had good feedback from the senior team member. I actually felt quite upset. I don’t mind feedback but this just didn’t sit right with me.

I sent you an inbox message by the way. It has the email attached!

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 09/05/2023 00:07

Ok, all read.
Perhaps arrange a meeting to discuss the feedback. Could you bring a 'friend' with you? It is quite a clumsy email. I see why it upset you.

WhimsicalLayer · 09/05/2023 00:09

TortolaParadise · 09/05/2023 00:07

Ok, all read.
Perhaps arrange a meeting to discuss the feedback. Could you bring a 'friend' with you? It is quite a clumsy email. I see why it upset you.

Im glad you see why it upset me, what seems clumsy about it?

OP posts:
WhimsicalLayer · 09/05/2023 00:10

I very much dislike the language used, I feel like a school child being chastised.

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 09/05/2023 00:27

Yes, the language is chastising. If it was better structured by this I mean following the traditional 'feedback sandwich' - positive statement, followed by the area for development and end with a positive statement - it may have read constructively.

The phrase with the word 'consider'.....' is the main part that bothers me because it is an expectation not optional.

Clumsy wording and feedback structure in my humble opinion.

good96 · 09/05/2023 17:45

Who conducted the learning walk and sent this email?

Being subjective now, he’s only delivering feedback based on what he has observed? I think you’re taking it too personally.
Yes I agree they could have had a conversation with you but still they would need to document it and have it on record - I’m a HT and all my observations are sent to the colleague on email as well as a conversation to highlight concerns.

MrsHamlet · 09/05/2023 18:11

I observe a lot and all of my feedback is by email. If people want to discuss it, they are very welcome to arrange a time to do that. If you want more feedback, you should ask.

SummerLakes · 09/05/2023 20:01

This is why I’m glad to be a 'left teaching' statistic.

No you don’t need to develop a tougher skin. Life happens. No one can perform 100% of the time.

dootball · 09/05/2023 20:35

It sounds very factual and truthful feedback. I much prefer feedback rather that loads of waffle about things I already know I'm good at.

On the subject of dropins I have always found the best strategy is to put the dropinner on the spot and get them to do something for you / answer some question they have no idea about / sort out some issue.

cansu · 10/05/2023 18:48

I would probably say nothing at all. Don't acknowledge it.

Or I would reply with thank you for your feedback. Unfortunately I had an issue with collating my resources on that particular morning which did impact on my usual practice.

Signalman · 13/05/2023 07:30

How many lessons has this twit got on his timetable? Very few, I’ll bet. Senior managers seem to forget very rapidly the pressures of teaching a full timetable. This is micro-management. No one can teach perfectly all the time. I don’t blame you for being upset; it’s not like you were sitting with your feet up having a coffee while the pupils ran riot. You were set up by the time the children got there so what’s the problem? Furthermore this “non-negotiable” business can get in the bin.

Frost1111 · 13/05/2023 18:52

cansu · 10/05/2023 18:48

I would probably say nothing at all. Don't acknowledge it.

Or I would reply with thank you for your feedback. Unfortunately I had an issue with collating my resources on that particular morning which did impact on my usual practice.

Do this

NeighbourhoodonWatch · 16/05/2023 19:38

You have probably spent longer thinking about this feedback than any previous good feedback.

Accept you were seen on a day that wasn't going 100% and stop thinking about it.

Fossie · 16/05/2023 20:23

In my opinion - they are a twat.

WhimsicalLayer · 19/05/2023 18:12

Frost1111 · 13/05/2023 18:52

Do this

Honestly, I’ve been a bit pathetic about it. I’m very tolerant in the workplace but I thought we had a good working relationship. Strong enough to have a chat together. But clearly not. So I ended up keeping my conversation very limited. I feel as though they know my thoughts on this matter. I lost my spark because I don’t like being treated like a trainee. I know what I’m doing.

OP posts:
WhimsicalLayer · 19/05/2023 18:13

Fossie · 16/05/2023 20:23

In my opinion - they are a twat.

I’ve accepted this school of thought. Yes, they are a twat.

OP posts:
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