Switching off in the holidays / at weekends

[voxnihili]

Does anyone else struggle with switching off? I’m currently SLT and enjoy my job but I am finding it increasingly difficult to switch off when I’m not in school. I can already feel the jelly legs starting when I think about Monday. Usually on a weekend I struggle to eat dinner on a Sunday night.

It isn’t the job as such that’s causing that, but more the culture. It’s impossible to make even minor mistakes without being berated for it and I therefore spend a lot of time ruminating over things I’ve said or done that I may get in trouble for. A lot of the time I’ve not even done anything wrong, it’s just it’s not the way someone else would have done it.

Any tips on managing the anxiety? I’m a natural worrier. I know I probably need to leave but I’m worried about making the move and it being even worse.

Me. I feel I've wasted the holidays in a state of high anxiety and dread about next term. ECT 2 so still new to it all.

Also a natural worrier so I'll hang around for tips if that's ok. I am already taking medication so I hate to think what I'd be like without that. Not saying that's the answer.... is there anything you like to do outside of school? I think I need something in my life other than work and my own DC. But I'm not sure what as have very little motivation to do anything.

Just about to start a thread as I need out. But, like you, what if something else is worse?

It isn’t the job as such that’s causing that, but more the culture. It’s impossible to make even minor mistakes without being berated for it

I think you either need to push back on this via your union or collectively with other members of SLT- this isn't normal and it's no way to live.

If you don't feel able to do that, I'd start looking for another job. In some areas of the country, there is a real shortage of experienced senior teachers, so it should be possible to find something comparable, or even the next step up.

But if the environment you're working in is impacting your mental health, then you need to change things.

@namechangedyetagain - sorry to hear you’re feeling the same. If I was an ECT and feeling like this I’d definitely cut my losses and leave but I’m now 17 years in. I don’t want to turn my back on a career I’ve loved in the most part (I’m also starting to think about my pension!).

@Postapocalypticcowgirl - I definitely need to change something, I’m just nervous about ending up in an even worse situation. I’ve been looking at other schools but I’m a bit restricted due to childcare and it doesn’t help that none of the jobs advertise the working hours.

Ah! I'm a career changer so came to this really late in life. Not that it helps the situation. Need to earn to pay the mortgage and also to pay back the 18k it cost me to train.

I'm sure there must be something out there education related if you don't want to stay in teaching?

Ideally I’d like to stay in teaching, but I’m not sure that another school would be any better, and could be a lot worse. Also, when I was a teenager I worked in retail and had an awful boss and I felt much like I do now so also aware that many workplaces are similar.

I probably sound defeatist mentioning about working hours having to fit around childcare but that’s the reality at the moment, and it limits my search area a lot.

I wish I could shut my brain off. The thought of being there (and the thought of all the things I might get pulled up on) is worse than the reality.

I can't think of much worse than being berated every time you make a mistake.

I don't think you'll ever find jobs in schools that are advertising working hours- but if you need to leave by, say, 4 most days, you could phone before applying and ask if that's likely/possible in the job?

However, if you're SLT, I assume you're the higher earner? If you are, could your children's dad be more flexible around childcare, to let you search a bit further afield- presumably you already pick up the vast majority of holiday childcare?

But if you want to stay, I'd start by having a chat to your union and making a record of incidents each time you think you're being treated unreasonably. It's not on for e.g. your manager to shout at you or belittle you.

@Postapocalypticcowgirl - that’s a good point about keeping a record of things. I did it some years ago but then things settled down. I’m not being picked on - just someone who can be generally unpleasant.

I’m actually not the higher earner and DP works really antisocial hours (shift worker). I have to do drop offs which is what restricts my search area as I have to be able to get from breakfast club to school. DP does most pick ups. I have to do occasional pick ups but it’s fine from where I am at the moment. This is the main thing that is keeping me at the school at the moment. Our childcare issues will ease significantly in about 18 months so if I can hang on for that long it will really help.

Sorry no tips but if you're thinking of leaving, now is the time to start looking and making school visits to get a feel for their culture. Some moves turn out to be the best decision ever but not always the case.

I too was a bit apprehensive about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. But hand on heart, it was the best thing I ever did moving schools last year. If it doesn't work out, you can always move again if you have to. Teachers can pretty much pick and choose schools now as there are so many vacancies out there.