Should I take a break from work?

[Nicmummyteacher]

Hi all
I have been teaching for 12 years now and also currently have a lot of leadership roles as well. I am a workaholic so usually love being at school and being busy.
However, this year has been very difficult. Since September I have had 4 children on the SEN register, 2 of them having an EHCP but no 1:1 for them, which they had last year. I do have one TA but with all the needs of the children in my class and the behaviour of my EHCP children, this has been an extremely hard year for us both. Whilst dealing with this at work, my partner was being tested for a brain tumor and so by the beginning of October, I was extremely overwhelmed, depressed and anxious about everything. I spoke to my head teacher about how I was feeling and she was very sympathetic but nothing in regards to support at school, changed.
The SENDCO has done nothing to try and support me despite my fighting for more help. I feel unheard and very unsupported. Once Christmas got out of the way, I was hoping a fresh term would be better however, things were just as stressful. The hard part I’m dealing with now is the fact that because my job has affected my mental health so much and changed me in a negative way, my partner and I are now having problems and are facing the possibility of a break up. Lastly, to top all of that off, I’ve now been given a new child (that was removed from the other year 1 class) who is a LAC child with extreme behaviour issues. He does come with an adult, however, they are not with him all day. He has so far kicked and punched some of my children, speaks to them in a disgusting way and now my EHCP children’s behaviours have gone backwards massively. I just feel so burnt out, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and just so fed up with life right now. I can’t control any of what I’m going through and I agree with my partner that my job has changed me as a person this year. I’m so unhappy and I don’t remember the last time I had fun or even laughed. I’m also a mum and I feel like I’m not doing my best for her at the moment because I’m sad a lot of the time. I try so very hard to hide it and pretend I’m ok and then when she’s gone to bed, I just let it all out and cry. My mum has suggested time off work to step away from what is making me this way and to try and get back to my old self but I feel so responsible for those children and feel like I’d be such a burden. I just don’t know what to do but I know for once, my mental health should come first

If you've said you're already struggling, and they've given you another child with extreme behaviour, that seems unreasonable.

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with taking some times off with stress- you've been through a difficult time recently, and 2-3 weeks would take you nearly to Easter.

I'd also wonder whether it's worth looking for another school long term.

You can't feel guilty- it's not your fault that the funding/support has not been put in place, and you can only do what you can do.

Perhaps some time spent covering your class would show the SENCo/SLT that something needs to change!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate that. I wake up in the middle of a night thinking about whether I should take time off and I feel so guilty about it. We have parents evening coming up and a practice deep dive and I just feel like I’d be letting the school down but then on the other hand, they need to understand my reasons. I also feel so guilty about not being there for the children

You are not well. You have reached out and asked for support only to be rewarded with yet more unmanageable responsibilities without support.

Yes you should take time off, see your doctor and focus on getting well not work.

Thank you for your comment. It has been an extremely difficult decision but I think I will have to take time out. I kept going back and forth on it all week but after yet another day of constant stress and the SENDCO ignoring my plea for help, enough is enough. I need to step away from that toxic place

I'm currently signed off myself. I had been really struggling with health issues and stress compounded and had reached out and asked for help repeatedly trying to avoid going off sick. Sadly nothing was forthcoming and things got worse and I just couldn't keep going.

Try not to waste the time feeling guilty.

Get signed off. My job cost me my marriage, my ex said I am a completely different person when I am not in school and I know it is true. Like you, I would describe myself as a workaholic, always wanting the best for the pupils in my care. However, you need to remember that you are replaceable in work, you are not replaceable at home. I was signed off last year, and that helped me to rest and gave me time to re-evaluate. Consequently I have firmer boundaries and weekends are spent with my son. Yes, the work is still there, but I am getting better at saying it will get done, but not at the expense of family time. Somethings may take longer to get done, or I will not do things as 'well' as I should do, but they get done without costing me my sanity.

Please take the time off. I requested a referral to Occupational Health when I was signed off sick, they were able to provide me with counselling which helped me work through my emotions.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I’m sorry that you went through a hard time as well.
I think the term that I’m replaceable at work but not at home is so important and I have to remind myself of that. I hate that a job that I am so passionate about has made me feel this way and potentially ruined my relationship. I just hope that by taking time off that my HT doesn’t pressure me to come back too soon

I’m sorry to hear that you are currently off sick. I hope work is being supportive and trying to help. How long have you been signed off for?

I’m also really worried about finding a new job and whether someone else would employ me if I’ve been off sick. So many things going around my head :(

The very worst that could happen if you left teaching teaching and wanted to go back is that you'd do some supply and get to know the local schools and them you and move back into a permanent job that way. I went back into teaching this way after a long break when I wasn't sure I wanted to properly get back into it so did day to day supply to put a toe in the water and see how I felt back in the classroom and schools. I was being offered jobs right from the start but they all wanted me full time and I did not want that as my son was still quite young plus I value my sanity so I held out till I got a part time role.

That's worse case scenario and it's not bad at all.