I believe I may be struggling more than I’d like to admit

[Foodieforever]

i previously posted about my short staffing struggles at work. I’m finding things particularly tough and the moment. I really loved teaching when I first came into it. I loved the buzz of the classrooms and the lightbulb moment for pupils who took a long time to learn. But I’m actually finding things very hard at the moment.

I can’t be sure whether this has to do with me as an individual not being resilient enough or just being unable to cope with the level of disrespect that’s happening to other staff round me (due to now what seems to be general short staffing and more supply leading to less routines) or whether I actually cannot be a good teacher.

I’ve stupidly made the error of making poor choices when it comes to school and my cv probably looks like a shit show.

I’m wondering if there’s anything I should do or could do while I ponder whether I am fit for the profession or whether my students deserve better. I know some of you will say to contact my unions, I have and it seems to be causing an issue.

I have been in a department which was short staffed, and it was a nightmare. I mean, maybe I'm not a great teacher (not suggesting you aren't) but honestly even teachers I really admired were struggling.

I'm not sure what additional duties you are doing, but I was writing up to 5 cover lessons a week, doing marking for effectively an additional KS4 class, and having to teach out of specialism (science) up to Y11. And honestly it was very, very difficult on top of my normal teaching load. And, of course, nobody cut me any slack for it.

I really recognise the situation you describe in terms of disrespect to supply, too.

I did move schools- it wasn't the only reason (I had to leave my rental property anyway), but it was a factor in terms of looking elsewhere, rather than just sucking up a long commute.

I know a lot of amazing, resilient teachers who've also left that school.

When you say your CV is a shitshow, depending on subject, it may not matter. The other alternative is maybe to look at going on supply, or looking at changing setting e.g. would AP, or Post-16 suit you? I'm assuming you're secondary?

Do you feel you're being treated detrimentally because you've got the union involved?