TA undermining me

[Irishbell]

This week I need to set some clear boundaries with my TA.
since starting in my role 2 years ago I have tolerated her undermining me in front of the children, interrupting my lessons, shouting at my class for not tidying up or tucking their shirts in and constantly avoiding working with the children preferring to use me as a counsellor during my PPA and lesson times.
I have almost reached breaking point with this woman and need to confront her behaviours head on.
I have tried many different strategies of managing her but it’s still costing me too much of my sanity.
I am not the only person in our team who she upsets, she falls out with several colleagues each term. My boss is supportive of me but has encouraged me to gently confront these specific actions head on.
She’s quite an explosive character. Does anyone have any advice?
Thank you.

Honestly from what you've said here I would ask a member of SLT to sit in with you when you talk to her. Otherwise it'll just end up with her claiming you've upset her but nothing really getting agreed.

Ask for your line manager, her line manager or another person to sit in with you when you address the behaviour.

Give specific examples of behaviour that can't continue e.g.

1. During PPA I need time to work quietly. During this time you should be doing XYZ, rather than chatting to me.

2. During lesson time I need you to do XYZ, unfortunately I can't discuss ABC with you during lesson time.

3. I will discipline students if needed, during tidying up time, etc, I need you to...

It may be you need to address the issues with her line manager rather than yours?

Does the TA work 1:1 with a specific child, or are the a class TA?

Thank you, yes I need to be very specific so she has no wriggle room to turn it into a drama.

My line-manager has said that she will take her to one side soon and ask whether she is happy, because she herself has noticed that my TA is often stomping around, falling out with colleagues and worst of all being very sharp with the young children in my class.

I worry that if I had a member of SLT as witness in the meeting that TA could feel ganged up on/ blindsided because she doesn’t seem to be aware of the impact of her stormy mood on everyone around.

Partly the problem is that I’m a soft touch and very easily slip into rescuing my abusers due to childhood trauma and that combined with the fact that my line manager never seems to confront situations head on when people are behaving badly.

This is a bad combination and a scenario where bullies thrive. If I start being Uber boundaried and just let my TA know that her actions are not acceptable to me, I think I could affect a bit of change. It’s just scary the prospect of her turning on me and work becoming really uncomfortable 😣.

Do you have a union rep, and have you shared with them how you are feeling? You shouldn't be feeling unable to set professional boundaries like "I want some undisturbed PPA" because you're afraid someone will "turn on you".

What do you mean by her "turning on you" and have you seen any evidence she will do this?

Do you feel unable to discuss the situation with her line manager?

She avoids working with children?! Do you make it clear what you want her to do e.g. do you print out the lesson plan and annotate with what she should be doing at each stage of the lesson? How is she able to disturb you during your PPA? Surely she is directed to be working with your class or doing interventions whilst you’re on PPA? What does the SENCO say?