Teaching your own child

[Geordiebabe85]

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience of their child being at their school (primary).
What were the pros and cons both from your perspective and your child's?

Not exactly the same, but I was the music specialist at an international school for several years. Both my Dc went there and I taught both their classes. I loved having them there - we commuted together and I rarely missed a school event that they were in. I also attended the school my mum taught at as a kid and she taught me for a while- I liked having her around.

Personally, I would say it’s a no no - conflict of interest and we have a policy in my school that prohibits this - having said that though I am secondary and the teacher can have a major influence over coursework grading - and like in the COVID years when teacher assessment grades were submitted.
Primary is slightly different but still to be fair, I’m not sure I would want to be teaching my children. If it happens though, there must be a professional boundary and no favouritism.

It is common in areas with lots of small, village schools. At my school, children and grandchildren of staff make up a significant proportion of the roll - it is par for the course in a rural area and fairly unavoidable unless you deny a child entry to their catchment school. Parents and children are very accepting of it here as it is just the way it is. When I taught in a two form entry, children of staff would be put in the opposite class to their parent which was a good compromise. From a parent POV, it means you are generally there to see assemblies, sports days etc. Play dates can be slightly weird though!

I've never worked in a school where there hasn't been at least one teacher parent in the same school (primary), but the child is never directly taught by their parent - the staffing always gets shuffled to avoid any clash in that respect.

I currently have my Y4 colleague's child in my EYFS class - one con from my perspective is the parent (my Y4 teacher colleague) thinks the sun shines out of their child's arse when it absolutely doesn't so conversations around behaviour are hard work and fall on deaf ears often or get laughed off. It winds me right up!

My dc go to the school I work at and I taught one of them (1 form entry).

Lovely things are I get to see them every day & get a bit more of an insight into their school lives than I would otherwise. It makes it a bit easier to see their assemblies etc, but obviously I’m mainly there as a teacher so can’t be full on mum.

Actually teaching my dc wasn’t ideal and I wouldn’t have chosen that. I felt like I had to treat them less fairly to make it look fair iyswim.

I still have proper childcare arrangements and think that helps maintain professional boundaries. I wouldn’t want my dc around before / after school. However on the odd occasion childcare isn’t available, it’s so useful to only have to take them to the same place I’m going.

Our school is small and with lots of linked families, a very family feel in general which helps. We live in the community & that’s why our dc go there - I just accidentally ended up working there too. I’ve worked in other schools where I think it would be much harder to manage. My dc are also super good at school (well behaved & able) and that helps A LOT. I don’t have to have difficult conversations with teachers and dh & I also try to be easy parents to deal with! DH does most of the ‘parent’ stuff just to keep that professional boundary in place a bit more.

Downsides are you are never just a parent so school playground politics can be slightly tricky (though I also have lovely school mum friends). When there was an issue impacting one of my dc it was harder to raise (& with hindsight I should have pushed more for my dc instead of being so understanding) because I knew more about both sides.

But overall it’s been really positive for us all - my dc love it(!) - and I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t do it in secondary though - but I’m really going to miss the small insight I get into my dc’s lives at the moment.

Haha I’m laughing at this in relation to my comment about my dc being really good. They genuinely are though! But we absolutely wouldn’t dismiss their teachers if they came to us with issues.

One thing I sometimes notice is that colleagues will talk to me about things to do with my dc that they just wouldn’t if I wasn’t right there (eg so & so said something unkind to your dc but I did x y z to sort it out). I know it’s cos they care so much but I wish they wouldn’t do this - I want them to feel they can treat me like any other parent.

Both of my DS's attend the school I teach at. When I questioned working in the same year group, they said it wouldn't involve teaching them.

It has been fine so far, and I feel lucky that at can talk to my colleagues about them quickly if needed!

My youngest does occasionally come and give me a cuddle at the end of break time!

It's quite common in my school and both my children went whilst I was there. We are a larger than average primary, and move staff around year groups regularly, so avoiding teaching your child is straightforward.
There are drawbacks - the other parents will know you are a teacher and you can't gossip about the staff room with them. There may be a time when you don't agree with something a teacher has done within your child's class (I'm lucky - the staff in our school are good, so my gripes where only ever minor ones).
But, for me, the positives far outweighed any negatives. I could pop into class assembles and school productions. If I needed to have them before or after school I could (I wouldn't recommend it daily, but no problem occasionally), if DC were a bit under the weather I could check on them and dose them up with calpol in necessary!
My DCs are older now, and they always say that they preferred it.

Such a good point…the ability to give calpol at lunchtime is invaluable!!

Thanks everyone. Lots of pros and there's doesn't seem to be many cons.

Lots to think about!

DS is at my school. We are abroad and I teach at an international school. We are big enough so that I will not be his class teacher and can generally avoid his year group as a whole. For cover, I might teach in his year group but have requested to be kept out of his class if at all possible. It's working so far.
He can be quite clingy and will stick to me when I'm on duty but otherwise it's fine. (He's Reception, so he'll grow out of it eventually. ) We can get to school together and I can take him home after. If needed, he's in after school club and I can work a little longer.
I usually send DH to do parents' evening and such stuff. I try to avoid speaking to his teacher about him but I know he can be a pita. He's usually lovely as well, though.

Working as a teaching assistant has really opened my eyes to the mess the education system is in. Teachers are under so much pressure with inclusion along with the delay of EHCP being issued. Classes often have 3 challenging SEN children and 1 with behavioural issues.
I can’t believe there is not funding to support these children. I recently studied (yet another course) on challenging behaviour and know sometimes inclusion is just not the right option for these children. We are failing them. They need professional counselling and therapy.
(Do not stress though as a TA will take care of that!)

I have nearly completed two years within primary setting and feel saddened by the lack of support.
I have been bounced around from pre school to SATS interventions.
I literally feel under pressure from the minute I arrive at school. I’m outside for two playtimes and a 45 minute lunchtime supervision then I have to walk kids up to after school club regardless of the weather. It’s a 15 minute walk!!
not to mention forest school for an hour.
I am bitterly disappointed with how hard I have worked and studied to now be tossed around a school setting.
I am currently near completion of my HTLA course. I am refusing to offer this to my current school as I know my tasks will increase again.
Wish I could teach and support kids,
not be a playtime or dinner lady!
Am I the only one who feels this way?

@Gladiator16 I think you may have posted this on the wrong thread...

I have taught colleague's children in secondary - in most cases it wasn't really practical for them to attend another school. Mostly, they were really nice children, so that was good. In one case, the child was a bit more disruptive but their parent undestood what they were like and was reasonable about it.

I've taught my DC - one form entry village school. When they got to my year group, I was given the choice to move year groups or teach them. I moved once (for a variety of reasons - not just to avoid my DC) and I've stayed and taught one because it was going to be far too disruptive to move just to avoid her.

But being a small village school, the lines are blurred anyway. In previous schools I would never have had contact with the parents. Here some of them are now good friends. I've had to attend birthday parties with classes I've taught and other social occasions with parents. I try to keep things as separate as possible - at school I'm a teacher, out of school I'm a parent. On the whole our parents are very respectful of the boundaries.

As for teaching my own child, I actually quite enjoyed it. I liked seeing her progress and felt like I saw so many positives. I was over the top about being seen to be fair though - other staff commented that you'd never know my child was in the class which was exactly what I wanted. It also helped that I'm in EYFS/KS1. DD was young enough that she wasn't bothered or embarrassed that I was her teacher and the rest of the class didn't bother about it either.

Overall it was a really positive year and I feel privileged I got to do it. I do now have some regret that I didn't teach my other DC but there's not much I can do about that now.