Asd

[ghostsandpumpkinsalready]

Have you ever had a child in your school that has a diagnosis of asd but you absolutely don't ever see a single trait.
I think I live in a parallel universe to my other coworkers who think it's obvious 🤷‍♀️

Why do you ask?

They have a diagnosis, which would have been made by a team of professionals after a long period of appointments and assessments. Ergo, they are autistic. If you don’t see a single trait, they’re either masking like mad in front of you, or you have a rather closed idea of what autism
looks like. Either way, they’re still autistic.

Your role is to teach them to the best of your ability, and follow the strategies in their IEP or EHCP, not to question their diagnosis.

Mine masks spookily well. Wastes so much of her energy and intellect on it, IMHO, but she wants to fit in. (I used to teach, many moons ago, btw). I'm not offended if people raise eyebrows at her diagnosis. They don't see her physically and mentally collapse back home at 3.30pm, or the many rituals we go through to even get her through the school door in the first place.

You’re a better person than me @Teets I’m offended. I wish more people understood about masking, and about all of the rituals, as you describe them.

My daughter was having meltdowns at and behaving violently towards us at home but was perfectly behaved at school and did not display any of the typical ASD traits because of her masking.

My daughter has just been diagnosed aged 11, with the highest possible score (e.g. not borderline, no doubt at all). I’ve suspected, and raised the possibility with her teachers, since preschool - quite a few of her teachers didn’t see it at all and one even laughed when I mentioned it. She has always been very quiet and well behaved in school as she is terrified of getting into trouble/being the centre of attention, and does her utmost to fit in and be like the other children. Autism is a processing and social communication difference, rather than a personality type, and autistic children can be introverts or extroverts, and have different personalities and characters just like their peers - they just perceive and interact with the world a little differently. For what it’s worth I’m also autistic and was a grade-A student, had friends, was in drama productions, took full part in school life etc etc (but at the same time suffered horrific bullying and abuse, and huge amounts of anxiety that I did my utmost to hide). If you’re thinking of one of your students, take time to chat to them or their parents (depending on age) about what helps them feel safe and happy, and what you can do to support them - just little things like access to a quiet space, having comfort objects with them, being put with kind children in group work and given a defined role etc etc. little things can make a huge difference to autistic students’ ability to learn.

What DIYandEatCake says. Absolutely this. Please, please, please have a chat with them and raise concept of putting on a brave face/mask at school. My daughter would've have been so relieved if she'd known that the teacher appreciated how hard she worked to maintain her game face. We'd probably not have ended up leaving.

OutDamnedSpot - I can afford to sound zen as we have secured a diagnosis. 18 months ago I was raging! Agreed - more understanding of the masking and stoicism would go such a long way to alleviate kids' sense of isolation.

It is extremely common for children with Autism to behave differently in different settings. My DD is perfectly behaved at school, works hard and does everything asked of her, is academically bright and wants to please adults. She holds it all in at school and lets it out when she reaches the safety of home. She is exceeding ARE in all areas but still, at the age of 9, needs a lot of support, supervision and constant prompting with things like tooth brushing, washing her hair and getting dressed for school. People think it's funny and "quirky" that she "talks like an adult". She is often praised for how "sensible" she is by school staff but they don't see her curled up in a ball under the table crying uncontrollably because I've accidentally bought the wrong brand of black school tights and, although they look identical, to her they "feel different" and the sensation of them against her skin is so uncomfortable she cannot physically stand it.

One of the reasons I waited so long to seek an assessment (something I carry a huge amount of guilt about) was because I was worried I would be labelled hysterical or overly anxious, because I knew school weren't seeing what we were seeing. Can you imagine how exhausting it is for parents to not only have to manage their child's complex needs but to feel they have to prove to others that those needs are real?

Fortunately, her teachers have been wonderful. They are very knowledgeable and understand that just because they're not seeing it doesn't mean it isn't there!