ECT- knowing that you are being portrayed as the 'unsupportive' mentor

skiinandskiout · 2022-10-16T09:23:12+00:00

My ECT is an nightmare. I could go on and on but the basic gist of it is that she has completely ignored all the advice and resources that she has been given. None of the support put in place for her has been acceptable. She has complained about it all, to my face and to other members of staff. I am surprised by how upset I am by this and I've referred it on the HT, who has been so supportive, but honestly, I don't want to go into work tomorrow and see her. I gave up my summer holidays, I've texted her back on weekday nights and weekends and I've offered her my personal resources. I know there's nothing else for it but big girl pants and smile and nod, but it's been hanging over me.

MrsHamlet · 16/10/2022 10:56

Keep records of everything.

She also needs to be told, preferably by the head, that her complaints are being taken seriously but that she needs to be more professional.

Is she going to pass?

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 16/10/2022 11:25

Currently, no. The HT is going to meet with her this week.

In her mind, her complaints aren't being upheld, but it's because of her attachment to faddy things like flexible seating and choosing challenges. She's totally veered off from our planning as well.

I advised her at the start that our children (KS2), don't respond well to flexibility and require firm boundaries and structures. I did say that she could possibly work it into some lessons throughout the week, but she ploughed on anyway and behaviour has now deteriorated massively.

I have notes from all of our meetings but I'm going to start noting all of the informal things too.

OP posts:

MrsHamlet · 16/10/2022 11:30

Are you the induction tutor too?

I'm induction tutor is a secondary.

If one of my mentors was having this problem I would have a meeting with each of the people separately and then one together.

I would do a joint obs with the mentor.

I would probably also ask someone from the AB to come in and observe with me.

What is she complaining about?

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 16/10/2022 11:39

No, the induction mentor is another member of SLT. They're up to date on all of this.

She is complaining that she hasn't been given enough help with planning, that we're unsupportive and not listening to her, the class are too challenging, she hasn't got enough TA time, the tennis coach's times don't suit, etc.

(She has been given access to all of last year's plans and I did her first month's plans with her).

OP posts:

MrsHamlet · 16/10/2022 11:42

She sounds like a nightmare!

Push it back: what exactly does she need help with planning? What exactly are the problems with her class? Where precisely does she think you're going to pull a TA from for her?

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 16/10/2022 12:06

Yes, she is!

I'll speak to the IM and HT about the next steps.

TBH I don't see her completing the year.

OP posts:

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 16/10/2022 12:07

I don't know how it works with the new ECT system, but is there any way you could resign from your role as mentor at Christmas? It sounds like a nightmare, and if it's upsetting you this much, then in theory, the easiest answer is for you to not mentor her any more. As I say, I don't know if you can do that, but I'd definitely look at your options around it.

In terms of support with planning, as an NQT, I didn't really get any? I'm sort of assuming primary, so it might be a bit different, but in secondary, obviously you'd hope for shared resources, but beyond that, I think the expectation is you're able to plan independently?

Surely she can't have it both ways- i.e. want to do things her own way, and want you to help her with planning?

But yes, I'd see if you can get out of the responsibility if you possibly can?

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 16/10/2022 12:29

I don't know if I can keep on working with her either tbh. Maybe a chat from the HT will help.

Yes, primary. Obviously the goal is for her to be doing it independently, but there's so much to do and things do need to be done in line with school policies. I think she feels like I don't listen to her ideas, but I'm not wasting my time working on implementing something (e.g. flexible seating) that I know won't work for our children.

OP posts:

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 16/10/2022 12:33

I still think she can't have it both ways- either she wants to do things her own way, in which case she has to plan more independently, or she shares planning with you, but has to do things in a way which work for both of you. She must see it's unreasonable to ask you to change your teaching style so that things work for her? (Although it sounds like it's not working for her).

She sounds pretty naive and unrealistic, and it's annoying that she's blaming that on everyone else.

Hopefully the head can have a chat with her about professionalism, which will at least stop her complaining to other members of staff- but if it continues, I'd suggest to the head that the relationship appears to have broken down, and she'd be better off with someone else. It doesn't solve the problem for the school, but it might at least make you feel better?

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 16/10/2022 12:40

It really would, you're right.

OP posts:

cansu · 17/10/2022 20:41

WTH is flexible seating? Surely, she doesn't allow the kids to sit where they want to?

cansu · 17/10/2022 20:43

By the way, I would gracefully withdraw. You should just say that you don't think you are the right person to work with her.

bagged · 17/10/2022 22:03

ECT here - view from the other side perhaps?!

Sounds like she's watched one too many american youtubers. Flexible seating is a big thing over there, does she want to have all different tables/chairs etc? Utter chaos in my eyes! But personally I think this would have to be a whole school thing as I think it could have a negative impact on children if not consistent. E.g. if they come to her and need that consistency then it won't work for them, likewise if they respond really well to it in her class and then go elsewhere next year the ch would struggle with the transition so it wouldn't benefit in the long run? I think it's 100% fair to shoot down ideas like that as they're not practical nor suitable for many ch.

I let ch sit wherever they want in the classroom when they're reading silently during free reading - that gives them a degree of choice but still has a high expectation and consistently remind them that it's a privilege and not a right. Have made them go back to their seats on a number of occasions after they spoke or whatever (only because when I read I love being comfy and sitting up straight on a chair wouldn't be my desired spot!)

As for the other stuff have you tried just having an open chat with her? I think sometimes treading on eggshells makes it harder. Perhaps with the HT just be honest and say exactly how you're feeling? maybe she doesn't realise that you're trying so hard to work with her but the way she's acting is making it feel like you aren't on the same side!

Either way pls don't give up mentoring. She needs the support so the children in her class have the consistency they deserve :( perhaps you could jointly mentor with the induction mentor? Meetings/obs etc together so then it's more of a united thing so she doesn't think it's just you

Deffo keep track of everything - along with what actions you took whether that be supporting her directly or passing it on to someone else. Think she needs to realise that you can only help to a certain degree as she's now in a job so needs to start independently planning and whatnot!

In other news - finished my first term here. promise you we're not all bad ;) (or at least I try to think not!!)

ThanksItHasPockets · 18/10/2022 08:35

Don’t pander to it. As PP have said, keep records of all of the support you give her, minutes of meetings etc. if necessary be prepared to withdraw as her mentor and suggest that someone else would be a ‘better fit’. When the same issues arise it will be clear that the issue was never with you.

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 18/10/2022 17:10

bagged · 17/10/2022 22:03

ECT here - view from the other side perhaps?!

Sounds like she's watched one too many american youtubers. Flexible seating is a big thing over there, does she want to have all different tables/chairs etc? Utter chaos in my eyes! But personally I think this would have to be a whole school thing as I think it could have a negative impact on children if not consistent. E.g. if they come to her and need that consistency then it won't work for them, likewise if they respond really well to it in her class and then go elsewhere next year the ch would struggle with the transition so it wouldn't benefit in the long run? I think it's 100% fair to shoot down ideas like that as they're not practical nor suitable for many ch.

I let ch sit wherever they want in the classroom when they're reading silently during free reading - that gives them a degree of choice but still has a high expectation and consistently remind them that it's a privilege and not a right. Have made them go back to their seats on a number of occasions after they spoke or whatever (only because when I read I love being comfy and sitting up straight on a chair wouldn't be my desired spot!)

As for the other stuff have you tried just having an open chat with her? I think sometimes treading on eggshells makes it harder. Perhaps with the HT just be honest and say exactly how you're feeling? maybe she doesn't realise that you're trying so hard to work with her but the way she's acting is making it feel like you aren't on the same side!

Either way pls don't give up mentoring. She needs the support so the children in her class have the consistency they deserve :( perhaps you could jointly mentor with the induction mentor? Meetings/obs etc together so then it's more of a united thing so she doesn't think it's just you

Deffo keep track of everything - along with what actions you took whether that be supporting her directly or passing it on to someone else. Think she needs to realise that you can only help to a certain degree as she's now in a job so needs to start independently planning and whatnot!

In other news - finished my first term here. promise you we're not all bad ;) (or at least I try to think not!!)

Once she's progressed to criticising the OP to other staff, it's very hard to continue to be a supportive mentor. A degree of professionalism from a mentee is expected.

I have actually been in a really nasty situation with a trainee, where they made a false but damaging complaint about me. So I guess it's a bit of a case of once bitten, twice shy...

Yes, ECTs need good mentors, but mentors shouldn't have to put up with this sort of thing.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 18/10/2022 19:54

This has gone way past ‘having an open chat’. She’s been incredibly unprofessional and you do not have to put up with it, OP. She’s currently not meeting part two of the teachers’ standards.

jimjambob · 18/10/2022 21:38

bagged · 17/10/2022 22:03

ECT here - view from the other side perhaps?!

Sounds like she's watched one too many american youtubers. Flexible seating is a big thing over there, does she want to have all different tables/chairs etc? Utter chaos in my eyes! But personally I think this would have to be a whole school thing as I think it could have a negative impact on children if not consistent. E.g. if they come to her and need that consistency then it won't work for them, likewise if they respond really well to it in her class and then go elsewhere next year the ch would struggle with the transition so it wouldn't benefit in the long run? I think it's 100% fair to shoot down ideas like that as they're not practical nor suitable for many ch.

I let ch sit wherever they want in the classroom when they're reading silently during free reading - that gives them a degree of choice but still has a high expectation and consistently remind them that it's a privilege and not a right. Have made them go back to their seats on a number of occasions after they spoke or whatever (only because when I read I love being comfy and sitting up straight on a chair wouldn't be my desired spot!)

As for the other stuff have you tried just having an open chat with her? I think sometimes treading on eggshells makes it harder. Perhaps with the HT just be honest and say exactly how you're feeling? maybe she doesn't realise that you're trying so hard to work with her but the way she's acting is making it feel like you aren't on the same side!

Either way pls don't give up mentoring. She needs the support so the children in her class have the consistency they deserve :( perhaps you could jointly mentor with the induction mentor? Meetings/obs etc together so then it's more of a united thing so she doesn't think it's just you

Deffo keep track of everything - along with what actions you took whether that be supporting her directly or passing it on to someone else. Think she needs to realise that you can only help to a certain degree as she's now in a job so needs to start independently planning and whatnot!

In other news - finished my first term here. promise you we're not all bad ;) (or at least I try to think not!!)

I completely agree with this, she sounds like she has an idea in her head what she wants teaching and the classroom to look like. Shes squashing it into a box and it won't fit.

Im shocked she's allowed to 'get away' with it. Its defiant and your head teacher needs to rollock her.

Original poster

skiinandskiout · 18/10/2022 21:45

Yes, that sums it up. She has fallen hook, line and sinker for the ideas of ‘relationships’ and giving children autonomy. I would have supprted trying it in small doses but not in the way she has.

HT has made it clear there have to be changes in manner and approach so we will see. Thank you.

OP posts:

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/10/2022 20:31

It's good that the headteacher is supporting you. She sounds extremely hard work!

I was fortunate that my most recent ECT was lovely to mentor. He listened to advice, asked for help when he needed it but also recognised that he had to be proactive.

I did have a nightmare trainee a few years ago though and it almost put me off mentoring! She didn't listen to advice, declared she didn't want kS4 experience because she 'didn't like older teenagers'😮 and caused behaviour to decline in my Y7 class for similar reasons to the ones you give. She refused to be firm with them despite me repeatedly explaining that she needed to be (and modelling it!).

Continue to keep records of everything. Maybe ask the induction tutor to jointly observe or even sit in on a meeting or two.

LindseyHoyleSpeaks · 28/10/2022 21:40

I pity the poor children stuck in the middle of this!