False safeguarding claim "F"ed up my career

[safeguardinghelp]

I am a midday assistant, I love it and I'm looking to train as a TA.

I was called in for a safeguarding allegation against me, that I pulled 2 students hands apart scratching one. This is untrue. I feel sick, can't sleep and I am very upset

They say she has a witness in her friend. KS2, I was working alone.

I expressed this to be untrue in the meeting with the head, it was then repeated to me am I sure ,I said yes, she then proceeded to say we have all done it, it's no within the realms that you may have done it without thinking that's why you don't remember, you don't have long nails, we will just tell parents you separated them but no force was used and we will say we will give you more training, we can then get it sorted for you before end of your shift and it will all be done.

So I ended up reluctantly agreeing. So thats what was done. I'm now being told by the head to shelf it (emotionally) and move on.

Now I'm being advised by friends this will be put on any further references as a substantiated safeguarding claim against me ?

Is this true and if so how do I then go back and say these implications weren't explained to me and I never would have agreed to it had I known this I would have stood my ground on the fact it didn't happen.

I dont think i can be of much help, but it sounds awful if you havent done anything. Is it maybe dependant on how far through the process it is before it goes on your references, if it sorted between the school and the parents happy with the outcome its just an internal thing maybe ?

Ask for a letter from the head stating that it is an unsubstantiated allegation.

But if I've effectively said it happened as it was told to me basically as it's not a problem we will just say you didn't realise and no excessive force was used, parents will be fine and it's all sorted.

Does this then state on any reference as a substantiated safeguarding issue ?

OP do you mean it didn't happen but the head told you it did and you agreed and it has gone on your record that it has? I am also an MDA. I don't know anything about your record but I would be really concerned by the fact that you agreed to say something happened when it didn't. That is absolutely not ok. I would go back to your Head, say you can't shelve it, and say you need to understand how this affects your record.

@coffeeisthebest yes that's what I'm saying.

I explicitly said it didn't happen on many occasions, but then the head continued to say well maybe you don't remember it happening as it was such a quick and nothing event to you, maybe you just did it without thinking (no, I wouldn't do that and especially not as a default without thinking !!!) and by the end of it, I somehow ended up walking out as if going oh ok, we are telling parent that I'm having more training and that'll be the end of it.
It's bizarre, I'm a really confident person, and I don't know how it happened where I agreed to that action. I never said I did it, so I'm not really sure what the parents have been told,
Im not sure if it was Mrs safeguarding issue can't remember doing it, but will accept more training going forward as it upset her.
Or wether it was Mrs safeguarding will accept more training and is upset at the issue.

When, if I stood my ground, it should have been Mrs safeguarding didn't touch your child. Let's investigate, but madly I thought if it's easier for school and of no great detriment to me and we are just pacifying parents, ok then.

I know tomorrow will be vital, although either way I didn't do it so that should be that and I shouldn't care about the school being investigated.

I have asked for a meeting to clarify exactly what I've agreed to and how it will affect my future.
I haven't slept or eaten all weekend, thinking it over and over with what I should have done or said differently.

I'm so stupid letting myself be tied up like that and allowing myself to questioning myself. I knew it wasn't true.

'I'm so stupid letting myself be tied up like that and allowing myself to questioning myself. I knew it wasn't true.' Please don't think like this. I can well imagine how this has happened and it reflects very poorly on your headteacher. The issue is though, that you know it didn't happen and therefore it shouldn't be put at your door. It is not a non issue, as any safeguarding matter is a big deal, as you have demonstrated by not sleeping or eating. When you think about it now, can you imagine any teacher going along with agreeing to accept they did something when they didn't? I wouldn't imagine you can, and neither should you. You don't need more training, I am cross at this whole situation with you, and if it helps I probably would have ended up in the same position as you if pushed, I'm just sorry that your word was not listened to. I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow, and from one MDA to another, you need to stick up for yourself now.

@coffeeisthebest thank you so much, that nearly set me off again 😭
Yes, I will tomorrow.

How ironic (and unprofessional in my opinion) that your HT has asked you leading questions that's made you admit to something you haven't done, the exact same thing we shouldn't do when talking to a child about a safeguarding issue.

I expect the parent was told that you are upset it happened and further training will be provided and that will be the end of it. I don't really think that it would be passed on in a reference. I'm so sorry you've been accused! I mean kudos for them being proactive on listening to the child but how they've handled it with you, not so good.

The head was really good in that she made time to see me today to answer my queries
So the head reassured me that the parent was told, that I was upset and that I have no recollection of the incident and i will be given more training, the parent was happy with this so the head said that's the end of it and she's never been asked on a reference if an employee has had any allegations made against them, only if there are any ongoing allegations so it wont affect my future.

I still feel a bit angry as although the head said she didn't accept that I did it, I feel it should have been, no I didn't do it. I did keep repeating that it's a false allegation and dropping in "for something I didn't do".

@mangomama91 so, yes you basically hit the nail on the head with the outcome.
That's also exactly what I thought after, you are not suppose to ask such leading questions. I will never be so weak again with anything at all and will stand my ground. I can not believe it's as easy as that to put you in that position when working in a school, it definitely shows how vulnerable we are in the school environment.

I'm not sure if it has changed my attitude towards a career in education as it's been an awful few days and I still feel sick about it.