TA's going on over the summer? How unreasonable am I being?

[ReceptionTA]

Next year I'm working with a teacher new to the school. I'm going to be 1:1 with a Y2 child, rather than the class TA (the actual class TA needs a lot of direction so I can see I will often be doing two jobs at once as I'm more experienced and capable and willing) This week the teacher messaged me asking if I'd like to go in and help her sort out the classroom. I spent the first day of the summer holiday sorting the classroom so it was a blank canvas but neat and tidy for her. I've told her I'm busy and can't go in. In truth I just really don't want to, and now I feel bad for saying no. I give above and beyond during term time, but I just need to be in bed and tidying my own house this week, for my own mental health. Also, it's annoyed me a little, even though I have her my number and told her to message me if she needs anything (like knowing where she might find something). I'm feeling really grumpy and unreasonable.

Wow! I can't believe she even asked you! I would never ask a TA to do that. Would certainly not do it as a new start to school. I've had TAs kindly offer but I've always refused. I'm pissed off about having to go on myself I wouldn't expect others to. Did she ask the other TA? I think you're wise to set boundaries now.

I too think that the new teacher is asking way too much. I did once accept an offer of help from one TA who was also a friend. I accepted because I was moving classrooms after more than 10 years and had so much to do. I agree AnneShirley, it's bad enough having to go in yourself during the holidays. It's really good of you, ReceptionTA, to have gone in at the beginning of the holidays.I do know of TAs who happily go in during the holidays. They are often ones whose families are older. It could be that your new teacher is used to this, but she certainly should not expect it!

I would never dream of asking my class TA to come in and help me during the holidays! It's bad enough that I have to go in, but asking you to is very poor form, in my opinion. Only once in over 30 years have I had a TA offer - and even then I felt uncomfortable saying yes, and bought them a lot of wine to say thank you! It's completely fine for you to say no, and I'm sorry it's making you feel cross and uncomfortable - I'm not surprised.

Thank you all for making me feel better - I've had a great day doing nothing except clean my kitchen. I would have gone in if last years teacher had asked (she wouldn't have asked, just told me she was going in) because we get on so well. No, the teacher won't have asked the class TA, as she won't have their number. I am so going to have to put boundaries in place and try not to feel guilty about it.

I think if she phrased it like you have in your OP "would you like to?" then I don't think she's being unreasonable. But equally you're not being unreasonable not to want to either. As a TA, I like to go in during the summer to help set up the classroom, but it shouldn't be an expectation at all. I don't have children, and I currently have zero plans for the rest of the summer holidays. Personally, I find it a good opportunity to spend time with the class teacher before everything gets crazy busy as soon as term starts, especially if you haven't worked together before. I also like to have an input into how the classroom is set up (every single teacher I've ever worked with has always said they want it to feel like "our" classroom, and that's easier to do if I've been there when the setting up has been happening) and I have massive FOMO and don't like things happening when I'm not there (I think that's part of my autism).

Last summer I told the teacher I was working with that I would like to come in if she was coming in, she never texted me and in September she said she didn't want to bother me - but I completely wanted to be bothered!

I think what I'm trying to say (the flipping spinning car ad on the side is making it very hard to concentrate!) is that the teacher is not being unreasonable to ask if you want to (but she should probably have said "absolutely no pressure and it's completely fine if you're busy/don't want to") and you are not being unreasonable for not wanting to go in.

I think you are fine to say no and also it is not fair that you feel uncomfortable now.
I am going to have to go in before the end of August because school want certain areas clear for cleaning. Irritating as I didn't think I would need to.
SLT been particularly bad this year at expecting goodwill when not got much goodwill from them! I am really feeling undervalued (and poorly paid) at the moment which is making me a bit grouchy about unofficial expectations...
Also aware others better at switching off and saying no than me...

I don't think she's done anything wrong in asking if you want to go in, some TAs like to be involved with that and also YANBU for not wanting to go in.

Agree with this - I like to just sort it all out myself anyway but some TAs I work with have confided in me they've been very offended because a teacher hasn't asked them to help. Hate the pettiness in schools sometimes!

I think it’s entirely possible that the teacher
a) thinks you get paid over the Summer (as a TA my pay was averaged over the year so I got paid but it was for term time work)
b) has no idea how underpaid TAs are.

Having said this, politely decline. Your holiday is well-earned.

Or, ask her to do your lunch duties in lieu for an equivalent length of time…(Sorry, in a slightly trouble-making mood).

It's a good point that she was trying to involve me. Her text came as I was feeling really stressed after the first week of the holiday was unexpectedly difficult. Also I think the new teacher isn't really sure what she's doing as she's very young and has being doing a small amount of supply for two years,so it's understandable that she reached out for help. She came to the intake day with nothing planned and expected me to whip out some activities after she'd had a chat with the class on the carpet with a bit of a "get to know you". I was able to, but most of the morning was playing outside on the grass. I have said "I will need to see your planing in September, so I know what I'm doing when working 1:1" I'm now a bit nervous everything is going to be left up to me. The HT thanks me profusely for all I do, but I'm not a magician I can't do everything all at once (I digress - thats a completely different thread!). She's a lovely, sweet person who was just trying to involve me, and I need to remember that.

I’m a teacher and will be going into sort out a new classroom next week, it’s an awful mess. I am taking my lovely TAs with me next year and am contemplating asking them if they want to come in as they also will be spending the next year in the class room. I certainly wouldn’t expect it but also would feel bad if I took over and don’t want them to not feel involved if they want to be. So I might drop them a text.

I was surprised a few years ago when I realised that several of our teachers a didn’t actually realise that the TAs are paid an hourly rate based on the actual hours they are contracted for just 39 weeks (unlike teachers who are salaried).

it’s possible that your teacher assumes that holiday working for TAs is the same as it is for teachers…

No pay for the half-hour lunch break you might manage to take if you are lucky.
However, the school I am at may be the issue here as there is an expectation of doing more than you are paid for with TAs. Not officially of course...

I have and would go in to help, some many teachers have cleared out ‘my’ stuff and binned things they shouldn’t - really annoys me to the point I take most of it home and it spends the weeks in my car.

That said I didn’t like the last bossy teacher so refused!!

I would like to be asked just incase there’s stuff I need, etc but no I’m it going above and beyond anymore!