PGCE low point - any words of wisdom

[PGCEeek]

I'm a mature (secondary) PGCE student. I had a wonderful Placement A with overwhelmingly positive feedback from subject, professional and university mentors. I loved teaching. Behaviour management was considered a key strength, as I built a positive and respectful learning environment.

In Placement B, I just don't seem to be good enough for my subject mentor. After every lesson, she opens our feedback with a criticism, framed with (I feel) quite a confrontational question eg 'WHY didn't you x?'. Behaviour management was a struggle for me in the first week or two; the behaviour policy is strict, and I admit it took time for me to adapt from my previous, more nurturing, approach. But I'm now at a point where, while there is low level disruption from 1-2 individuals - who are consistently disruptive in many subjects and constantly in detention and on behaviour interventions- the rest of the class are great. But my mentor has not acknowledged any improvement. She told me that one of those kids said he misbehaves because my lessons aren't as fun as hers. She is also pretty cold with me, then when one of her friends from the dept walks in, she warms up and becomes a completely different person with them. Basically I don't think she likes me, and I get the sense she feels I need taking down a peg or two following my glowing Placement A reports. Oh and she refers to the kids as 'pricks' etc (obvs not to their faces!) which I really don't like and cannot get on board with.

I'm anxious at the idea of her writing references for me, and I feel like a failure all the time. I'm sure I am not getting everything right. I'm not saying it's all down to her. Perhaps it's me, perhaps it's her, perhaps it's a mix of the two. Perhaps I am being over sensitive, as it's hard to pin down exactly what it is about my mentor's approach to me that is getting to me so much. But I do know that I dread going into school every day and I don't know how I'm going to get through the next half term.

Together with struggling to get a job, my confidence is down a hole at the moment, and I need a bit of light to get me through. Any words of wisdom from people who had a PGCE low point?

Ok, sounds like you have got yourself an ever so slightly power-tripping mentor there. Identify it as such try to get them on side, do not buy into the confident erosion narrative, keep yer chipper up know you are a good teacher still learning and just get through this placement. It will all fade into the past once you leave. Her lessons probably are more fun, because she is experienced and relaxed in her own confidence....that doesn't make you boring or bad....try not to polarise it is unhelpful. You are learning and you will be learning for a few years yet....

Thanks so much, that is good advice, especially "try not to polarise it is unhelpful". It won't do me any good to pit myself against my mentor, even if it's only internally. I would also add that she is only a second year ECT, so is inexperienced as a mentor. She is probably just doing her best, and finding her way, like I am as a teacher. I'll go in tomorrow with a smile and an open mind.

I had a similar situation when I was a PGCE student. I was lucky that the negative one was my first placement so it all improved for my second. There was one thing in particular I got out of the first placement - the ability to critique my own lessons. I feel this has helped me be reflective as a teacher throughout my 17 years of teaching. However, when it comes to references there shouldn't be any need to use this particular mentor. I'm assuming that your first referee will be a tutor from your pgce so therefore you could choose your first placement mentor as as your 2nd. If you are worried about the reaction of your 2nd mentor, you could add them as a 3rd referee. I doubt most schools would bother getting in touch with the 3rd one. Good luck with the remainder of your PGCE.

I had a very similar situation as a mature PGCE student - in fact I could have written absolutely everything you've said, even down to the inexperience of the mentor. It was horrible, and you have all my sympathy.

You will get through this, and when the time comes for you to have a student yourself, it will make you a better mentor. If your current mentor is only recently qualified, she lacks the experience to help you properly herself. She also lacks the understanding that there is more than one way to teach a lesson. I know this now as a veteran of some years in the classroom, but it took time for me to realise it when I was in the thick of it. Take it a day at a time. It will pass - and so will you! Be true to your own style and ethos. Courage!

I had similar. Great first placement, lovely school and no concerns raised about my teaching. Second placement I hated every minute, toxic place to work. I nearly quit around this time but stuck it out, found a job in a top school (despite the shitty reference they gave me) and I'm still teaching 10 years later. The right school makes a massive difference.

@PGCEeek

Thanks so much, that is good advice, especially "try not to polarise it is unhelpful". It won't do me any good to pit myself against my mentor, even if it's only internally. I would also add that she is only a second year ECT, so is inexperienced as a mentor. She is probably just doing her best, and finding her way, like I am as a teacher. I'll go in tomorrow with a smile and an open mind.

I'm also not sure someone who has been teaching for 18 months is best placed to provide mentorship and experience. It wouldn't surprise me if they feel quite self-conscious about their own inexperience and are projecting that on to you.

Your mentor doesn't sound very supportive, likely because they lack experience. Everytime she gives negative feedback ask her to explain how she would do it differently and why. It astounds me how many teachers are unable to use their teaching skills to support trainees and instead pick fault and expect trainees to just know how to do it. Sorry you are having this experience, I am sure you are doing a great job!

Thanks so much, it really means a lot to read your replies :)