Full time guilt

[Picklesandbeans]

The guilt of working full time is draining me. I've asked for part time but been turned down so I'm now left with fulltime or leaving (supply? Or another job) in the current climate it seems stupid to leave but I'm struggling with feeling like I'm missing my children growing up. Never doing drop off or pick up, open mornings, plays, sports days etc.
Anyone else? Do I just get a grip be grateful for holidays or take a leap and leave. My dc are 5 and 8 if that makes a difference.

Leave.

@devoncreamtea I'm leaning that way- heart says leave, head says stay! You had similar?

I think it sounds like you want to. And that’s a great decision: you’ll never get the time with your kids back. Even working PT as a TA or pastoral role will hugely increase your family time. Teaching can hang on - you’ll always get a job back ‘in’ because there are so many of us leaving! Don’t forget UC (formerly tax credits) might work for you to top up lost wages a bit if you choose to work PT in a less full on role.
I’ve done both. FT teaching at the moment. If it was JUST the job it would be ok. But I do so much outside the hours on top of being out all day (we all do of course!), then , I also hold onto things in my mind ‘have I done the right thing?’; ‘I need to do x’; ‘X y z has this going on so I’d better just …’
That I am not really fully present 100% when I am at home. It is truly relentless. I think you are making a good choice for yourself and your kids.
The profession needs to change!

Thanks so much, I do really want to I think. It's just I dont want to leave the school I'm in but they're making it very difficult to be anything other than fulltime and then obviously extra LTT as well.

I left a school that refused to accommodate my part-time request. I've been (mostly) happily working part-time for a decade since that. The school I joined aren't perfect, but on balance they're better than they school I left. Leave. When switching from full-time to part-time I think it's a case of the grass is almost always greener. It makes such a difference.

@lilac57 thankyou I think I needed to hear that! I will.

If your current school have refused your request, I think that says quite a lot about the school. A school that welcomes part-timers are likely more flexible in lots of ways, and more understanding of the pressures of working parents. Good luck with your job search!

@lilac57 thanks yes the head has no children and I do get the impression this was not through choice, all staff have had a few comments about pregnancy not being an illness so no excuse to not keep going etc ( said to a ftm to be with morning sickness and pains when asked to clear out the bike shed!) And other comments about sorting childcare and how easy it is.... my dd was literally vomiting in After School Club so I got up from a meeting to leave to get her and head told me to leave her until end of meeting as I wouldnt make a difference to how she felt ! Obviously I left , but the parental understanding isnt there.
Sorry for the rant!!
I'm going to see her this week and explain I will be leaving. I do love the school though....

I'm on a full time contract and she says if I drop to 3 days she'd have to offer that to all ft teachers so I'm not able to go part time. This doesnt sound right to me. @lilac57 and @devoncreamtea is this correct do you know?

Anyone is now entitled to request flexible working, and your head may well be correct in thinking it would be more difficult to refuse subsequent requests if she grants yours. But that can't be the official reason for her decline, that wouldn't stand up in court! What was her official reason? It's understandable that you'd rather move schools than fight her though, she sounds like a terrible boss.

@lilac57 that's the official reason given in my email from her..... I do think if I resign a full time position she will suddenly be wanting me part time- they're struggling to recruit at the moment.

I'd try that then, you don't lose anything if you're willing to move schools anyway. I'm surprised she put that reason in writing. If you really wanted to you could get help from your union to challenge that. I'd probably resign though and see what happens.