Hello
I do have a history of anxiety, especially work related anxiety so this may be clouding my judgment at the moment. I love my job and work in a school that is usually supportive.
However, a few weeks ago the deputy head came into my class and misunderstood a situation (thought I had authorised something I shouldn’t have re a pupil) and literally left me shaking after she stormed out. The way she spoke to me and turned from being happy and smiley to absolute cold as ice and demeaning was a real shock. I tried to stand up for myself but she was adamant she was correct.
A couple of hours later she came and aplologsied and admitted I hadn’t made a mistake after all. I do appreciate this as I’ve worked in many schools where even if the head realised they were wrong, would have just brushed it under the carpet.
However I have now gone from enjoying my job and feeling supported to absolutely terrified about what happens if I do genuinely make a mistake. I have seen how it can be turned round in seconds and leave you feeling awful. I work hard and any mistakes I ever make would be genuine mistakes. I am already panicking about what will happen if I really do make one that is my fault.
Not sure what I want from writing this but has anyone got any words of wisdom?!!!