Support against rude parents

[Combustablecustard]

Hi

Just wondering what your schools do against rude/aggressive/ranty parents?? Has been a definite trend lately in receiving ranty and rude emails- no direct threats or swear words but just entirely unpleasant and unfair. We have guidance for how we are meant to respond and communicate with parents and Im getting fed up with the expectation that this is somehow acceptable...is it?!

I just stand my ground. Anything truly unpleasant gets escalated straight to my line manager to deal with. If it happens again, I refuse any future contact. If the school didn't have my back, I'd be getting my union involved.

If they don't actually swear or threaten then I'd probably expect to deal with this myself. Parents often send off a fairly rude email when they're stressed or worried about something that's happened so in the first instance ignoring the rudeness and dealing with the actual subject matter, reassuring them and coming up with a plan for the future will usually work and then it's dropped.
If the rudeness continues or escalates then I tell them that this is clearly a matter for a face to face meeting and to phone the head for an appointment. She's pretty good at soothing irate parents and they're usually a lot less brave in person
It does seem to be accepted as "normal" unfortunately and there's been one particular incident where a mum made actual threats against a member of staff and was really unpleasant. It was treated as "ok" because when she met face to face she was much calmer so it all just sort of went away. I felt that she should have been told that she was out of order.
Sorry long ramble but yes, putting up with parent's angry messages is very much part of the job now.

Yes seems normal now. Im frontline to parents in a pastoral role, been doing it a long time and its definitely getting worse.
Last time a parent told me to F off I just put the phone down. Then when he rang back I refused to speak to him. I dont get paid enough to sit there and take abuse for doing my job. Upset and angry I can understand and can manage but im not being sworn at.
I find line managers can be supportive but it does depend on the situation.

Thanks all.

I am a line manager and so am the one who usually "absorbs" these people and thats okay. Usually theyre fine, calm down and see reason but have just had one who seemed to not back down but was looking for a row. Just sick of it and fed up with being really polite in the face of someone else who doesnt bother. Wouldnt be spoken to like that in the street but with my lanyard on it seems to be acceptable.

Argh.

I write home to rude parents and explain that we expect all communication to be respectful at all times.
So far one of the rude parents has replied with an apology to the person in my team they were rude to. The other two didn’t reply but at least weren’t rude again. (So far).

The passive aggressive ones are hardest I find. I'd much rather good old fashioned aggression that the p.a ones I get as you can't do anything about them. The ones that start with 'I hope you are well.' Then launch into an entitled tirade of 'to be clear' and 'I'm quite frankly very upset' and ' I would expect you to...' cc'ing in the local MP (about a lost coat.)

I call parents out on it. Spent too long accepting the crap emails. Now once they're calm I'll mention the tone in their email being rude/aggressive or whatever it was. Usually they apologise. I then recommend next time they send a polite enquiry email first to find out the facts, then save the rude emails for when they are really needed. It's easy to be brave on a keyboard. Most people you speak to on the phone are not like they are via email.