IVF and time off

[DiscoStusMoonboots]

Hello everyone,

I'm due to be starting IVF next year (Covid permitting), but have some concerns about the amount of time I'll need off for treatment. For example, in the run-up to implantation, I'll have to self-isolate for a week or so. I will also have a number of medical appointments, some of which will likely come at very short notice.

My Head was initially very good about this, and adopted a bit of a 'don't worry, we'll make it work' stance. However, since this time, I feel SLT have been 'distancing' themselves from me, and I'm nervous about the ramifications for my job if I need a lot of time off.

I'm considering contacting my Union as a pre-emptive measure, but would be good to hear advice from others who have gone through (or know someone who has gone through) similar.

Thanks all.

Chances are you won’t need that many cycles (you may even conceive first time) so you won’t be having a week off for implantation regularly. As for the scans / blood tests in the lead up you can ask to have them early in the day or late in the day so you should be able to work a full day. You can take meds at work if necessary or probably work round that to have them at home, if that’s what you’d prefer.

Yes, it is a time commitment but I really don’t think it will have much impact on your work.

Why would you have to self-isolate? I wouldn’t bother.

I did my first round of IVF in October (next one is in January) and my school were really good about it. I booked it off as medical appointments, so on full pay. I let them know when my appointments were as soon as I knew about them and then cover got arranged. I tried to be in school either before or after (my clinic is about 30 minutes' drive from school) or tried to get an appointment time that didn't clash too much with the things on my timetable that are more difficult to cover (our cover cannot teach PE and I teach it 6 hours a week, for example).
I needed the day off for egg retrieval because that was surgery. I didn't self-isolate for anything, though. Why would you? The transfer took two minutes and you didn't feel anything during or afterwards.

I'm lucky with my school, though, and not the first person to do IVF. I don't have a lot of sick days in general, so it's not as if I'm out constantly. They can't have been too worried about it, since I just got made permanent. :)

Good luck. :)

Thanks for sharing your experiences and advice, all. I did think the self-isolation before treatment was unusual - just something that was in one of the guides the hospital gave me. I'll ask at my appointment today.

Glad to hear your schools were flexible and understanding of the situation.

My school was not understanding... I left teaching.

The students/ parents gave the school a lot of shit for missing some lessons during a tracked cycle for clomid (I missed first lesson for five mornings over two weeks. I think the same class was affected for two lessons, all the others were different classes). Cover had been left in all cases (which we all know creates yet even more work!!). I was teaching 27 hours of lessons a week at the time too (don't ask!!).

And I got pretty depressed. My self esteem was rock bottom and behaviour in my lessons suffered as I just couldn't fight them any more. It just wasn't sustainable.

As much as it would be great to plan ivf within an inch, the school will need to be flexible with you. During my ivf cycle, I had to go for daily scans during the second week of stims. That hadn't been the original plan. But I'd quit teaching by that point, so didn't need to be stressed about the last minute cover. My cycle worked.

I miss teaching and I don't miss teaching.

@DiscoStusMoonboots I think all schools this differently, as do the ivf clinics. I've had lots of unsuccessful ivf cycles and it is bloody stressful trying to juggle it with school. Mine have recently implemented an ivf policy, which they didn't have when I first started. I work 4 days and try and do as much ivf admin on my day off, but it's not always possible. My clinic don't ask for isolation, but it's not part of a hospital. Ivf during covid as a teacher is unfortunately stressful. I always live in fear of catching covid off a student at just the wrong time.

I had time off for scans (always tried to do them in my frees where possible, although not paid for that time which irks when you're marking in the waiting room!), egg collection and the afternoon of a transfer. However, I do regret working the morning of my last transfer as I read a really annoying work email that morning, got stuck in traffic and had a sky high bp when I arrived, so the transfer was very, very nearly cancelled.

Good luck with it.

I managed to keep it a secret but I was sixth form and not full time, plus we used an egg donor, so I don't know how feasible it would be with egg retrieval as well. I did the actual treatment during a school holiday. It was abroad!

I think the school would probably have been supportive, but I felt very strongly that I wanted to keep matters private as it was a gossipy place - in case things failed. I had had one failed treatment before starting the job.

Good luck, OP.

I believe they will be supportive, I think they have to, don't they? isn't discrimination if they don't help you? Talking with your union is a good choice, what did they say?