Have kids lied about you?

[Eatingpizza]

Hi! Please be gentle as I am upset. I got an email from a parent (via the head). Parent was very outraged at my unprofessionalism and terrible treatment of their child. According to the child I have called them stupid and dumb among other things several times. I have not provided them with the correct knowledge. And their grades are being affected. Also there is a "list" of other things, but they did not elaborate (thank god!). Parent asked could the teacher (me) be improved or changed?

It obviously upsets me as it is all outright lies. I would NEVER speak to a student like that. I can't even think of a circumstance in which I could have said something that could be misinterpreted. I have tried my absolute best to provide all knowledge with many extra resources.

It really upsets me that a student I teach could hate me so much that they would make up something so untrue about a teacher.

For context, I work in an EU country. I teach a core subject at secondary and the students take monthly tests that contribute to their overall grade. This email came right after the results of the first test of the term.

Has anyone else been on the receiving end of lies from the students that they teach? (It might make me feel a bit better to know that I am not the only one.)

I find that in situations like this it is generally best to pick up the phone. Call the parent, ask what is bothering them, reassure them you’d never say such a thing about a child, tell them something positive about their child, then move on. Dwelling on it is counterproductive and speaking to them direct is more efficient than going via the head.

(That’s not to say I get lots of complaints! Just that nipping things in the bud is easier by phone)

Just yesterday a parent emailed demanding to know why I'd given their child a detention for not doing their homework when they had been ill when it was set, and had asked me for help only for me to tell them to return to their seat. Overall tone was that I was a terrible person and their poor daring (year 10, not year 7) was distraught due to my cruelty.

I replied that as I was at home I could not check the details but that I was sure there had been a misunderstanding, blah blah.

Checked this morning and they had conflated two homeworks, the one they'd told me they'd been sick for I'd let go, the detention was for a totally different homework, which was, you guessed it, in their bag. Parent very apologetic.

I hate phone calls, I prefer professional, factual emails, if you have any evidence of your side use it. Even if it's that most of the class performed to the expected standard (so you obviously have provided an acceptable level of teaching). Last time I phoned a parent about a negative incident the parent was just as rude as the child.

I've just moved schools so I've got a bit of pushback on the boundaries at the moment, it's very wearing.

Op, is this a country by any chance where they have to repeat the year if their grades fall below a certain mark? I remember when i worked on the continent we had this issue with core subjects from kids who were at risk from falling below the minimum grade to get into the next year

It sounds like your kid has had some bad results and when queried by the parent has pushed all the blame onto you instead of admitting that it's their fault for not working hard enough. That's quite common, tbh.

I generally seethe with the unfairness of it all for a bit, then get over it.

I had a call from a disgruntled parent demanding to know why I had banned their child from eating lunch. Obviously, that's nonsense, but some parents believe their children outright. Once kids realise this, it's difficult to move forward

Yes - once that I can remember.
Context - SEN/Bottom set English. Year 7 girl for whom OT had suggested a laptop for use in lessons.
On this particular day I was checking on bookings for parents' evening. She told me that her mother wasn't coming to it and I expressed dismay that I wouldn't be able to meet her.

Her mum phoned school to complain that I had said that she was a terrible mother for not attending parents evening AND I never let her use a laptop in my lessons.
I phoned the mum as soon as I was able and told her exactly what I had actually said and pointed out that her daughter always used a laptop for writing tasks in English.
The girl sought me out the very next day and sheepishly apologized for telling fibs to her mum.

My advice - the personal phone call to parents and no holding of grudges.

If you're going to call, keep a record of what was said.

Hope your new school is enjoyable generally @Frlrlrubert

@JaffavsCookie some good bits, some not so good. Still in that boundary pushing 'new teacher here' phase so a bit challenging.

Most teachers have had some complaints that is untrue, partially untrue or a selective version of events (intentionally or a genuine misunderstanding).

In my experience, it’s always better to call. It’s easy to bang off a cross letter or email but usually, if you actually speak to them, they aren’t as angry as you think and it can be quickly cleared up. Going backwards and forwards with emails is never a good idea. You can’t properly read emotion and also, once written, never forgotten. It could come back to bite.