Did I handle this poorly

[Internetperson1]

I was teaching a set of students today and as I’m still in my early days of nqt learning. I asked a student to get on with something. His response was “f off and stfu” I just felt the tears about to burst when I heard it.

Sadly I got very cross and said “THATS UNACCEPTABLE. DETENTION AND GO UP TO THE ISOLATION ROOM IMMEDIATELY”

Yes I shouted but that group have really kept pushing and pushing. I have a stern voice as it is and it comes across sharp generally. Sometimes I get worried I’m mean or just being horrid.

How would others have handled this?

To add I also said “the reason why you gain these sanctions and it is due to your daily irresponsible behaviour and general rudeness within the lessn”

Sometimes I’m scared I’ll get told I’m being too mean. Or harsh.

What does the school behaviour policy say?
You need to follow that and not get 'very cross', or at least not appear to get very cross. Dispassionate, calm, adult-in-the-room, following of the behaviour policy. Issue warnings and apply sanctions as the behaviour policy says.
Yes, students can be infuriating. They will deliberately try to get a rise out of you. They can make you cry with frustration, hurt, shock or disappointment. But you need to become an actress so that you can respond consistently and calmly.

It’s 3 warnings then detention then iso. They were just being horrid and being told to shut up wasn’t a highlight so I just did shout. Do you think it looked bad?

When it happens if any higher teams are around I feel like it’s just not a good look but I followed everything to a T. I was just feelin. A bit broken by the kids

If someone told me to shut the fuck up, they'd be out of my lesson as soon as someone from SLT could get there. No warnings whatsoever for that... immediate on call in my school.
I wouldn't have even responded. I don't deal with that shit. I just press the button and get them gone.
We excluded someone today for similar.

Don't worry about it. You are still nqt and gathering experience in the classroom. The student was out of order and the consequence of isolation would apply in many schools. You followed the behaviour policy but you are human and got upset. A pp is right, you need to become an actress and do your best to stay calm. Following the policy to the letter and speaking calmly with change in tone of voice is needed will be more effective. The more reaction you show then it is more than likely they will try to push your buttons. Talk to your HOD or mentor about what happened and ask their advice. But ultimately chalk it up to experience and welcome the student back with a smile for a fresh start next time you see them.

Hi mrshamlet. Next time I said to myself I’m doing the same. Not listening someone else can.

The guilt of shouting is worrying me though especially when other staff see I feel they’ll think I’m crap.

I tell my beginner teachers never to shout in anger or upset. I might shout to stop someone doing something silly or dangerous but I certainly don't shout in an extreme of emotion. If you do that, there's a danger that you've lost control - and it's likely to escalate further.
I also don't recommend entering into discussion. You didn't need the behaviour comment. No one gets to tell anyone to fuck off and get a response.
I find it hard to believe that any school would expect a warning to be issued for that, so just summon whatever help there is and keep going.

Yeah I totally understand you. Would you think any less of them if they did?

I teach across a corridor from a shouter. I do think she needs to learn to control herself, I'm afraid.
Every little thing becomes a huge conflict - and neither party can back down.

I don’t really get involved in every single thing or a back and fourth but this time I did I suppose because I felt hurt I was trying to help and I got that. Other than this I usually have to tell them to get on with the work kind of shout over them not at. If that makes sense. If I got involved in every little thing I’d get fed up and quit I think.

Don't shout over them. They'll just get louder to compensate and so it goes on.
Go over and say (not shout) "gentleman please turn the noise down. Thank you" or similar.
In a previous thread you've talked about being harsh. Teens tend not to respond well to that.

100% I’ll give this a go and see how I get on. How about your room how do you arrange that to get the best out of them I still can’t seem to get that right either which is part of the issue of me feeling stressed I think.

All rows this year, which I hate.
Totally alphabetical except for lefty-righty clashes which I fixed in lesson one.
Where classes are small enough, spaces on every row so I can sit in with them.
And I don't stand the front. I move about and stand near the ones who need reminding ti behave.

Okay I’ll give this a go. Thanks for that. What would you normally prefer? We’ve just been given the go ahead for a new classroom layout.

I also just want to say a huge thanks. Your advice is so great. No one really tells you these things on your PGCE and I wish they did. I was around a lot of teachers who did reprimand by shouting so I just ended up like that but I’m going to work on myself now and just be the best I can for the students.

Hey trying, thanks for your response too. I try not to worry but I am. I hate when I become a product of frustration. And I hate thinking I’m not doing my best

I have my desks in groups normally.