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The staffroom

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

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Original poster

Taking unpaid parental leave

17 replies

Poppyloppyloo · 05/09/2021 02:14

I’ve just returned from maternity leave and it feels too soon. I got home from my first day (inset Friday) and dd just clung to me like a koala and sobbed. Apparently she had been fine all day and I’m confident in my childcare but she’s not yet 11months, breastfed and hasn’t really been away from me much at all.

I think I would be able to take 8 weeks unpaid parental leave (as I have an older child too 4 weeks for each)

I’d have to give 21 days notice, but how badly will this go down?

OP posts:

toadstool32 · 05/09/2021 06:20

I imagine like a tonne of bricks as you've had 11months to think about this. Are you part or full time?

ProfSprout · 05/09/2021 07:49

I well remember the feeling of going back after mat leave and it just feeling awful. It is a new routine and will take all of you a bit of time to adjust. But you will adjust, and it will be ok. Friday was the hardest day, each one will get a bit easier from here. It’s only 7 weeks and you will be on hol again.

Good idea to keep the parental leave at the back of your mind as an option but you don’t need to decide right now. Give yourselves a few weeks to adjust before making any big decisions. It will get easier.

PumpkinPie2016 · 05/09/2021 08:29

Sorry to hear your daughter was upset when you got home. If she had been fine all day, it's probably just the adjustment to a new routine

You can apply for parental leave but tbh I'm not sure it has to be granted? I may be wrong though. I have to be honest, I don't think the school would be too happy because of the disruption it would cause. Doesn't mean you can't take it but just be aware that they won't exactly welcome the idea.

I remember going back after maternity leave and it is hard at first. However, I would say persevere. If you take leave and then go back, you're going to be back at square 1 again?

You will all adjust fairly quickly and it will soon be half term.

cansu · 05/09/2021 08:47

It is fairly normal for the first few weeks to be difficult. I am not sure taking 8 weeks off willchabge things it will just put off the situation! Your school will be very unhappy. Where will they find a suitable teacher for those 8 weeks?

BitterTits · 05/09/2021 08:56

If my child was in your class and you'd left it until now to decide you weren't coming back I'd be very annoyed. Same if you were in my department and had left is with a staffing situation to sort in 21 days. What if she still finest like being left after the eight weeks?

BitterTits · 05/09/2021 08:56

*doesn't

Original poster

Poppyloppyloo · 05/09/2021 09:07

@toadstool32 I’m part time, 50% but over 4 days to suit school

@ProfSprout thank you, I felt ok while I was there but her reaction shocked me a bit, she just wasn’t right and seemed really affected by me leaving her

OP posts:

toadstool32 · 05/09/2021 14:32

@Poppyloppyloo if you're only 50% anyway you've obviously got half the week at home anyway; I really don't think you need to add to the schools stresses now.

EllieNBeeb · 05/09/2021 14:49

If you are feeling guilty about going back to work, instead of inconveniencing everyone you work with

EllieNBeeb · 05/09/2021 14:51

Oops somehow hit post too early. Instead of inconveniencing those you work with and the children you teach, examine your finances and consider staying home if not getting paid is something you can handle financially. Otherwise, you need to just deal with these feelings now instead of later.

amillionmenonmars · 05/09/2021 14:57

I really don't think that would be at all fair to the school. I think you need to decide if you want a longer career break - it certainly sounds like you do. If you can afford it then give in your notice. I have been a head of dept who twice supported colleagues returning from maternity leave who really did not want to be in work any more. That's fair enough - I didn't want to leave my own children in nursery either, but I had no choice as we needed my salary.

When both of my colleagues returned they took a lot of time of sick and I also ended up doing much of their planning as their heart was no longer in it. It added considerably to my own stress and workload at a time when I was also caring for an elderly parent. They both got far more sympathy than me from management.

Original poster

Poppyloppyloo · 05/09/2021 15:12

My job is very good for me long term, it’s convenient and the hours I’m doing are excellent. I could manage 2 months without pay but not any longer as that would use up my savings.

I have a very small timetable with only 2 classes I’m majority teacher for. I would imagine they would swallow my timetable with cover supervisors rather than take anyone on.

I’m a physics teacher and the last 3 jobs have had no suitable applicants so I am pretty valuable to the school. We currently have 2 PE teachers in the department

OP posts:

EllieNBeeb · 05/09/2021 15:16

It really sounds like it would be best for you to just get on with it and realise your kiddo is fine at nursery. That two months isn't going to make any difference to you or your kiddo,just prolong the inevitable and wipe out your savings.

amillionmenonmars · 05/09/2021 19:22

So your physics classes would have a (very probably) non Physics specialist for two months. That does seem unfair on the classes and on your HOD who is already working with PE teachers.

As you say, you are very employable. If you quit now you could easily find a job when you are ready to go back - but I suppose you would have to repay the maternity benefit?

I'm just glad I'm not the HOD picking up the pieces here.

Malbecfan · 05/09/2021 20:45

The OP's LO is at prime "missing mummy" stage. It's only been a day so please don't make massive decisions yet. Give the little one chance to get used to the new set-up - ideally half-term - before you make big decisions.

Takeachance18 · 05/09/2021 21:42

The school can refuse the dates requested and ask you to take at another time I.e when they have had time to organise cover. You can ask, but not sure how I would feel if a colleague came back and then went off again for this reason - you have been fortunate to miss all the chaos last year in schools. Unexpected illness of a child, is a different thing to reaction to missing you, when this could have been prepared for over the last couple of weeks. It is so hard, but the kids you teach also need some consistency.

notHarris · 06/09/2021 18:12

Don't make any quick decisions op, starting back after mat leave is horrendous in every way. I wanted to pack it all in and be unemployed until he started school, I cried every night and stopped sleeping.
But it does get better, little by little you'll both settle into a new routine and learn to appreciate the best parts of your new arrangement. Having another 8 weeks won't achieve anything other than kicking the can further down the road. You may lost your childcare place and piss off your school.... is it really worth it?
Sending though, this is a tough time.

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