Anxious ECT

[Sunshine0306]

Hi Everyone,

Someone has recommended this forum to me so please be kind.

I am just looking for some reassurance or advice from people who have been or are in a similar boat to me.

I’ve just finished my training and due to start my ECT position in September, I have loved my training year especially being in the classroom I did SCITT but starting to get really anxious now about going to a new school etc. I’m doubting myself and wondering whether I should have applied for the job at my placement school (they asked me to but the department was not nice to be a part of)

Additionally, I am a mum to a 2 year old little boy so starting to panic about missing things such as school plays, sports day etc when things return back to normal from Covid my husband will be able to go but feels like I should be there too I feel guilty already and that I am failing because I’m going to work full time.

I will also have an extra 10 minutes onto my journey than I am used to so maybe 35 minutes there and back which I now think on reflection is a really bad idea I keep thinking I’m never gonna be at home.

For info I am only planning to do my ECT there and then leave and look for part time I just didn’t want to potentially do ECT for 4 years. The job I am due to start is also permanent which a lot of my friends my training don’t have so I know this will help us financially to move house etc..

I’m not sure what this post is for just looking for some support from fellow teaching parents /experienced teachers that it will be ok.

Not looking for unhelpful responses surrounding how much people hate teaching.

Thanks x

Teacher parent here with 4yo and 1yo.

Firstly you survived training with a child so well done!

What subject and phase? I'm assuming secondary by the department talk. I'm secondary maths.

I have to work FT as the main earner. I'm lucky to have decent childcare and back up if needed. DH and I split any time off equally if needed for kids illness. Sports day, plays haven't happened this year but I was planning to send grandparents if needed. My argument is that I need to work to have our house and food!

For your commute, make use of the time. Mentally plan lessons, even record your thoughts while driving. Some people listen to podcasts. Alternatively actively use it as a period of wind down in your day so you're prepared for mummy mode when you get home. Try and commute at less busy times, eg leave early 7ish and come home early 4 ish.

Be organised. Use the summer to meal prep and plan. Get stuff sorted the night before for nursery etc. If you can afford it, go for a cleaner or someone to do your laundry. That would be my dream!

It will be OK. Make sure you and DH agree on childcare, timings, emergency childcare before you start. Get a calendar for the year from your new school and make plans for parents evenings etc ASAP.

Teaching is the best job in the world (and also sometimes the worst!)

It won't be easy - but you'll settle into a routine fairly quickly. I've told my ECTs to think about planning their non contact time so they know what marking time they have in the week and where the crunch points will be.

Firstly, congratulations on completing your training and getting a job!

My son is a little older now (he's 7) but I have worked full time since I returned after maternity leave. I think working full time with young kids is always tough but it is doable. Make sure your childcare is secure and organisation is key!
Don't try to do it all - there's nothing wrong with beans on toast for tea sometimes!

In terms of your new job - please know that it is perfectly normal to feel nervous about starting a new school (even returning to one - lots of us get start of term jitters!). Have you met your mentor? He/she will be there to help you, especially in the first few weeks when everything is new.

The Autumn term is hard going usually but once you get past that and towards spring, it does get easier. Similarly, planning etc is hard at first but gets easier.

Some tips I use/gave to my NQT this year which may help;

Don't try reinventing the wheel-there will be schemes and possibly resources at the school. Use them/TES to help you plan. I know in our dept if someone is stuck for a lesson on something, people will offer theirs as a starting point.

Marking- depends on subject/school policy but I am huge fan of live feedback in the classroom to reduce the load. Plan key pieces of work to give really good feedback on and light touch/self assess the rest.

Use your frees wisely - try not to spend all of them chatting in the staffroom. Same if you get in early/stay late.

Home wise, I make sure I organise all of my clothes and DS school clothes for the week on a Sunday. DS school bag/water bottle etc are placed in the same place each evening so we know exactly where they are.

Meals tend to be kept simple in the week. Things like simple baked fish, veg and new potatoes takes 5 mins to prep. Soup is good. DS sometimes likes a 'picnic' - sandwiches, fruit etc. If you can cook something at weekend and freeze some, that helps.

Good luck!

I'm a secondary teacher with a toddler, and would definitely suggest filling your freezer with meals now - make big batches of chilli/pasta sauce etc (plus meals for kids if they eat separately from you). I batch cook during every holiday for the next half term and it makes life so much easier knowing all we have to do is stick it in a pan and warm (DH is a teacher too, so often both knackered at same points), while we play with DS and do bedtime.

Also agree strongly with planning what you will mark and having a 'mark scheme' to use (form of this will depend on subject I suspect), then you know exactly what you are looking for and it helps with comments. Don't just take in books and think 'I have to mark these' - you'll spend an age doing not much - mark specific pieces of work.

If your DH has a job with any sort of structure (ie does X between these times, then Y between these times) you might find it helpful to look at your timetable and plan in advance who would take each day off if one of your DC was ill, so it's one less thing to think about when it happens, and so you can split it evenly.

Make sure you're not the default organiser of the home and your son. What hours does your dh work? Arrange between you who does what. E. G. Dh works from home so he is in charge of getting dd dressed and ready for school and packed lunch. I do all the school/childminder runs as it is on my way to work. Also set a clear plan in place of who will take time off when your ds is sick. We alternate as a general rule but some flexibility if either of us has a day we can't miss. Similarly cooking and cleaning. Organise who cooks on which days and who cleans (or who is in charge of hiring a cleaner).

The great thing about being a teacher with dc is not having to worry about holiday childcare! Yes I missed sports day but I get every day of every holiday with dd and that's incredible.

If you can afford to outsource things then do; cleaner / gardener etc may mean that you don't spend weekends doing that too.

Thank you for all your responses 😊 it was really reassuring to read. I’m KS4/5 Business and also teach some ks3 ICT (only 3 classes a week!)
Thanks for the advice I did so some of those during my training and did find they helped! I think it’s just because I have so many people saying it can’t/work or I’m a rubbish mummy for working full time it is getting to me now.
My DH works Monday-fri 8-4 so he can help with picking DS up from nursery thankfully.

That’s very true about the summer holidays, I will just try to make the most of that time.

I have so many people saying it can’t/work or I’m a rubbish mummy for working full time it is getting to me now
Some people are radiators; some are drains. Sounds like you know too many of the latter :(

Ignore the haters!

People often say things to justify their own life choices. You can, and will, make this work.

@MrsHamlet

I have so many people saying it can’t/work or I’m a rubbish mummy for working full time it is getting to me now Some people are radiators; some are drains. Sounds like you know too many of the latter :(

Agree completely with this. For what it's worth, I have a just turned 3 year old and absolutely everyone I know from maternity leave returned to work on 0.6 minimum but most people on 0.8, 0.9 or full time. It really just depends on who you know; it's really not the reality that everyone with small children is at home with them. Some great advice from lots of posters above - good luck.

Another vote for ignoring haters. Of course it can work - it does for lots of people.

I get comments because I work full time and my DH is mostly home (though he does freelance work to fit around our son). I guess our set up still isn't that common but it works for us. DS loves that his dad gets to pick him up and drop him off at school. He also loves that he gets his mum for the whole holidays (and during term obviously!).