Teacher wanting a chat

[cherrytrismum]

I was waiting in reception to see the Head for an appointment when my son's previous year teacher walks past, followed by her class, coming back from PE, to say she had had an issue with my son, I said would you like me to catch you after my appointment, she said, no I will tell you now. Told her students to stop, so they all congregated in the reception area, around her, along with TA. So 25 odd children.

To tell me the issue that was so important and she needed to discuss it so urgently and in front of her whole class. Was that my child who has severe ADHD, had scribbled on his work, so she made him do it again. Her mannerisms, way she spoke was of total distain. She was literally spitting her words out, she was so angry.

The head called me in for the meeting, so I could not respond, just had to walk away.

Do you think the teacher should have pulled me aside, rather than letting all her pupils listen in on the conversation, they were literally all looking at me. These are the kids from the year below him, some of whom he plays with, so they all know him. She wasn't even teaching him, he hadn't been sent out the class, so not even sure how she ended up getting involved. I asked my child when I picked him up, what he did in maths. He had finished marking his work, got bored and circled the ticks, going around each one a couple of time. The way she spoke was as if he had trashed his work and had scribbled all over it. So as frustrating for the actual teacher, his work was still visible and not really a biggy in the grand scheme of things.

Been called in numerous times, he won't sit in his chair. I asked again that he is reissued with a wiggle seat, something he had in the previous year, but did not travel to this class. He makes noises disrupting the class, he has a tic. He cuts paper up, when he is bored, take away the scissors, give himself loads more, so he doesn't have time to get bored if he has finished what has been set. Lots and lots of scenarios like this. All of which he as no control over. It's not naughty and on purpose.

My problem isn't really about his work and having to redo it, but more the audience of her whole class, while she told me. Walking home, one of those kids who had privy to this, let my son know, he knew he had got in trouble and hackled him.

Is there a code teachers follow on discussing issues about a child with a parent, or should I just breath and let it go as it's playing on my mind.

I would have opened the meeting with the HT by saying how surprised/ shocked / thrown I was by that encounter.

Does your child have a support plan or EHCP? It was inappropriate of her to pull you up like that. In hindsight you could have raised it with head as you had a meeting with her. But I would look to booking a meeting with his class teacher and SENCO to make sure his needs are being met as a starting point.

I did say to the head in the meeting, that how it went down wasn't good. My son doesn't have an ECHP or anything like that, so far it works on a, they moan, I have his back, they back down scenario. By this cycle is getting boring, probably for them as well.

The school are slow on many aspects. When he joined I gave in all his reports as he has a speech and language disorder, previous school had started the ball rolling on his adhd assessment. Which he had January 2021 and confirmed.

He started in year 2, kept chasing for his speech and language to be followed through as schools have to buy that in and they did not use the same company as his old school. It was excuse after excuse, had to assess the reception children first, then we forgot, you need to sign a form, then Covid etc. Enquired in Sept, said would be done in 2 weeks, then due to Covid they weren't coming in, then having problems, now they have promised Sept 2021. I have so many emails where I am chasing it.

Since starting in Year 3 he has 2 p/time teachers, which I didn't think was a good idea. I was advised by the SENCO, they have lots of experience with children with ADHD. Yet within a week, one teacher was moaning he wouldn't sit still, made noises and disrupted the class, cuts up paper. I am like, what are you wanting him to do, about that, he has really no control over any of this, If they keep him busy, he just gets on with it, if he finishes and needs to wait for others, it all starts, ants in the pants syndrome. I kicked up quite a fuss and she got the SENCO in the meeting as she realised it wasn't going how she wanted.

This same teacher, then moves his desk to the front of the class, parallel to the white board, facing the wall, so literally teaches the class with her back to him. I get a note saying he hit his head tilting his chair. Assumed it was therefore an accident on his part. However I didn't know at the time, his table had been moved until he had forgotten something and I took it up the school and saw. So him tilting the chair was actually to be able to see the board.

I approached the other teacher as she was on and told her my concerns and she said she wasn't happy with its location and that they discussed it. I asked what was she trying to achieve, she said she thought it was just a clash of personalities with the other teacher. I was like, he is 7 years old, hasn't built his personality yet, and that wasn't acceptable. They then moved him back.

It's just endless, I think they have already decided who he is. If he gets in trouble for being over the top during play, no excuses are allowed. Yet if other children do the same and hurt him, reasons and excuses are given. Just so infuriating. They push him over, it's play, he pushes someone over, it's an unprovoked attack.

I have sent an email to the head, about the issues, so he can't just pretend it hasn't happened and that we had't raised any concerns. Will await the response and lets see how we get on in September.

My advice to you would be to apply for a EHCP yourself. Gather all your reports as evidence including issues he’s had at school. Ask the SENCO for any strategies they have used. If you think you can work with the school then try to arrange a meeting and use the professional reports to highlight the difficulties he has and ask how the school are helping. Ask if he is on the SEN register and what wave of intervention he is on. They will realise you are seeking advice and may try to work with you. If they refuse to see there’s an issue I would advise SENDIASS to help. You are allowed to apply for a EHCP yourself if the provisions needed are greater than what the school budgets allows. IPSEA have a great deal of information and templates to use. It’s best to get the support he needs before he transitions to high school.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/special-educational-needs/

www.ipsea.org.uk/

Keep a paper trail as you have already by doing things via email and if you do write any letters to the school ask receptionist for receipts incase they get go missing.

Thanks everyone, will look into and start the ball rolling. To top it all today, my boy was diagnosed in Jan 21 and the SENCO asked for a copy of his report/diagnosis letter, as apparently they haven't received it, even though I recall them photocopying mine, when I got it in March.

I called CAMHS when I got home and they confirm it was posted in March, so are sending them another copy.

So from March til now, they have done nothing. Requested that he have a wiggle seat, said it's been ordered, but has never materialised. Surprise, surprise.

Going to book another meeting with the Senco, who is also the deputy head.

I know you shouldn't have to; but if one is simply not coming you can get a wobble cushion to use on a regular chair from Amazon from between £15-20.
I have a wedge shaped one for dc.