I feel like I'm such a bad trainee. I'm just not the kind of trainee like other that are jumping up and down and super excited. I'm just...there. I put myself out to do things and always want to do more and better myself. I'm just not the super bubbly enthusiastic type. My students that I've been given are very very challenging and tough. Today I admittedly did snap and one who got confrontational with me I said in a loud voice "just get on with it." I kept explaining over and again what needed to be done and it got to a point where they were just being lazy and didn't want to understand because they just couldn't be bothered.
I feel like this placement has taken it out of me. I want to be bubbly and happy but I'm just not that type of trainee I feel like I just take verbal tirades at me all day and they always undermine my authority over everything. As soon as the main class teacher steps in they stop the messing. But I'm just a nobody and it's how I feel when I tell them off too. They're just not taking me seriously and I'm really tired of it. These kids are just mean and rude and I'm drained.