Advice when a student doesnt like you and loudly voices it!

[Silverlinings100]

Hi
Im a secondary school TA and I have 2 students who dont like me because I am an unfamiliar face. The rest of the students are a joy to work with. The teachers give me positive feedback in how I work, this is the third school I have worked in- so I am experienced and I am aware of not being in anyone's face etc.

The worst thing is when they complain to the Head that they dont want me. What would you do?

What year(s)? Do they have anything in common eg a diagnosis, age, background?

Are they complaining directly to the Head, or is it their parents? How do you know about this? Were you aware there was a possible problem with these students?

Hi @JanFebAnyMonth

The head often pops in randomly and they complain that they dont want me as their TA and they want their old TA back! So embarrassing!

They are yr 8

I'm not sure whether to ignore and focus on the other students who are lovely

Or to try and get them on my side....

Anyone successfully befriend students like mine?

Couldn't they just be trying to wind you up, OP? How are they with you otherwise?

I'm new. I just started on the 8th March.

I'd expect the reader in the room to pick up on this. I'd also expect the head to say something like "I know you enjoyed working with XX, however they aren't here now/anymore so you've got YY. The way you're talking isn't very kind, especially in front of YY. If you have a problem you can see me at lunch '.

You don't want to befriend them. You're a professional in the room and you want to form a positive relationship with them.

If their issues are autism related they may struggle with change and be voicing this through 'not liking you'.

Are you with the students all day or for a specific subject?

Have they complained about you or just said they want the old TA back?

Kids generally don't like change, so i would bet its not personal, especially as you only just started. They would say these things about anyone! I would however expect other staff to have your back and i would be having a private chat about their rudeness with them.

Thank you @JanFebAnyMonth @winewolfhowls @HercwasanEnemyofEducation

To be fair the head and all the staff are so lovely. Its the best school I have worked at in terms of friendly and kindly staff.
Im just mortified- the people pleaser part of me wants all the students to like me.
I will put on my thick skin tomorrow and hope my cheeks dont flame like they did today!
Thanks everyone.

I'm a year 8 ta as well. Part of this is the territory with this age group I think.

You definitely need a thick skin. But; apologies if this is teaching you to suck eggs, but it's only been a week or so. You and your students barely know each other so get to know them! Their likes, dislikes, how they like to be supported in class, or how they don't. If they've got a student passport/profile read up on them. Ask the other TA's and their teachers how they find them. I found talking about non-school related stuff helped me build a relationship quite quickly as it was less threatening. Pets, favourite tv shows, games. You need to become the expert in that student.

And remember, these are students with send. They may be more resistant to change as a pp has said and need more time to get to know you.

I've got a student who absolutely point blank refused to work with me, refused to even speak to me but switching TA's was not an option. It took a while but we got there and we now have a great relationship where both of us read the other really well and know when to step in/ask for help or when to back off/complete independent work.