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Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

Original poster

Trying to conceive dilemma

14 replies

Lolabun · 01/03/2021 12:36

Hello I wonder if anyone can give me any advice with trying to conceive. I'm a secondary school teacher, and am have been trying to conceive for several months. I'm now thinking that this might not be a good idea as schools are returning to the classroom during the pandemic. On the other hand we don't want to put our lives on hold because of this, but I'm feeling like I would be considered irresponsible for planning a pregnancy with everything going on. I'm considering leaving the profession to avoid the classroom environment which isn't what I completely want to do as I enjoy my role, and it would be difficult financially to find an alternative job in the current climate. My main concern is telling my colleagues I'm pregnant and being received with negativity and being a burden to the risk assessment etc. Sorry for going on a bit of a rant, I don't want to discuss this with my peers and any comments would be greatly appreciated x

OP posts:
Original poster
Lolabun · 01/03/2021 12:54

I'd also like to clarify that if I did leave, I would ensure that I was employed before trying to conceive again, and aware that becoming pregnant can take a long time. This is why I'm not sure of continuing trying to conceive now (full time stable job with maternity leave, but in contact with potential positive cases) or hold it off until a new job and start all over again when it is "safer" whenever that is...

OP posts:
RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 01/03/2021 13:55

I'd just get on with it to be honest. Might take 2 weeks, might take 2 years. Don't worry about anyone else's opinion in school, none of their business.

PhysicsCat · 01/03/2021 14:10

If everyone stops ttc due to the pandemic then we won’t have any students to teach in 11/12 years time.

Original poster
Lolabun · 01/03/2021 14:27

Thankyou, my post sounds really whingey!
Really appreciate your comments

OP posts:
PenOrPencil · 01/03/2021 18:39

Don’t put your life on hold. Teachers are allowed to have babies, too. And stay in the job if you want to! You are overthinking this!

astuz · 01/03/2021 20:15

I echo PP, you need to crack on. COVID isn't going to go away, it's with us forever now, whereas your fertility is decreasing all the time. How long would you wait if you did wait? And even if COVID does go away, there'll be something else to worry about to replace it.

As for your concern about colleagues - well, their attitude is their problem - what are people supposed to do, never have children? Well, they'd be out of a job eventually if that happened wouldn't they? And if you're worried about telling management, well, they get paid extra money for a reason, & it's for managing things, you know, like people going on maternity leave!

Original poster
Lolabun · 01/03/2021 21:16

@PenOrPencil @astuz
Thankyou that's what my other half says!
Genuinely appreciate your reply Smile

OP posts:
chocolateisavegetable · 02/03/2021 16:36

Just wanted to agree with the previous posters - there are some things you might want to delay in order to help students - but TTC absolutely should not be one of them. Very best of luck to you Flowers

CarrieBlue · 02/03/2021 17:23

With respect, I doubt your colleagues will care either way (apart from those who are friends as well as colleagues) and given that, putting your life on hold to keep them sweet or giving up your job seems a bit unnecessary.

Timeturnerplease · 02/03/2021 21:17

I went through IVF twice during this pandemic and no one at my school has been anything other than supportive. Life goes on. If school have an issue, then you’re working in a toxic environment anyway.

glowingtwig · 07/03/2021 13:22

It really is just a job OP. Don't put your life on hold. Too many teachers sacrifice body and soul. You need to put yourself first and TTC if that's what you want and don't worry about risk assessments. That's for SLT to worry about.

Leodot · 07/03/2021 14:47

OP in the nicest way possible you’re totally overthinking it. Teaching is just a job like any other and your life always has to come first. Definitely don’t quit your job!

I fell pregnant just before the last summer holidays and taught for whole of that weird period when schools reopened to some year groups in the summer and for the whole of the autumn term in the classroom. I told my headteacher about my pregnancy straight away so she could do the risk assessment, though in all fairness it was no surprise to her, as I’d been trying for a few years and had been having fertility treatment.

People get pregnant all the time and adjustments in the work place have to be made. Yes there is a risk assessment for covid and pregnancy but until you get to 28 weeks (providing you have no pre-existing health conditions) nothing will actually change at school. During the first and second tri my risk assessment wasn’t actually that much more than non-pregnant colleagues; just a reminder about social distancing, hand washing etc and then all the standard pregnancy bits that would be in a risk assessment regardless of the pandemic. I’m in EYFS as well so didn’t have a 2m zone around a desk at the front of the classroom or anything. I also had cases of covid in my class (including one child who had spontaneously hugged me on Friday then tested positive on Monday).

Honestly, my daily teaching routine was no different (obviously apart from the general covid restrictions) and didn’t impact my colleagues in the slightest.

The only real impact to your colleagues and school is the advice to socially distance/wfh after 28 weeks. They would need to either show they could keep you safe in school or have you at home from 28 weeks doing something else. For me 28 weeks was at Christmas and then I just didn’t go back afterwards and taught online from Jan onwards which coincided with schools being closed to most pupils. I start mat leave tomorrow which coincides with schools opening fully so it’s worked out well in that respect! 28 weeks is a long time away though and who knows what the situation will be by the time you fall pregnant and reach 28 weeks? Looking at the government roadmap and vaccine programme that advice might be irrelevant by then and you might be able to remain in school for the duration of your pregnancy.

If you want to ttc then do it. Good luck OP!! ❤️

Ednadidit · 07/03/2021 19:47

Hi OP

I felt a bit like this last year (especially the irresponsibility) and spoke to my GP, who gave me the same advice lots of people here have - you don’t know how long it will take, if it will work at all, so just go for it. As another poster says, if no-one has babies we’ll all be losing jobs in 10 years time because of pupil funding! Being a teacher doesn’t mean you have to put your entire life on hold for the good of the school, no matter how SLT might make you feel that. We decided to go for it and now I’m going back in tomorrow in the middle of morning sickness... already decided that if we have another, I’ll try to get this awful bit in the summer holidays. 🤢

Al232 · 12/03/2021 12:37

Thank you 😊 greatly appreciated!

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