TA making my life miserable

[jinglebitch]

I might be being very out of order here- but I absolutely can’t stand my TA and I can’t see how to get through the rest of the year, and worse still I really want to stay in this year group (year 1) next year but it would probably mean working with her again. She’s been in the school 3 years (to my 20 years, having taught every age group) and yet knows best about everything. Last year (until lockdown) she worked with an NQT who was covering maternity leave, and I think he just let her run the show, because she certainly seems to think she’s in charge. We had a plan (with SLT encouragement) to introduce much more continuous provision this year, but she didn’t like it, found it tricky, and so passively aggressively undermined me at every turn. Doesn’t help that I’m only there 3 days while she’s there all week, and she’s sort of teamed up with my class share as a unit, I get a lot of “me and soso think...”
I’m really just here to rant, as I feel so petty and weak not being able to manage the situation but I did wonder if people could share how much autonomy their TAs have- I’m all for showing initiative, but she frequently plans things without consultation, and will just set herself up doing stuff without a word to me of what it is. Is it really unreasonable as a teacher to feel that it’s my classroom and she should defer to me, or am I being a dictator and we are equal in terms of decision making? I feel like it’s happened so insidiously that I’m not sure where I could have made a difference, and now it’s too late.
Thanks for listening, it feels good just to get it off my chest!

She absolutely should defer you. You are the class teacher - you are in charge! Can you speak to your job share about her? Perhaps they find her irritating too, but have just gone with it for an easy life. If they know your feelings, they might be up for a bit of a counter-attack!

You need to very firmly refute something she has done - preferably to another senior staff member. Just to send her a clear message You probably won’t need to do it twice but if you do, your courage will be piqued!

Good luck - she sounds awful and, just as a good TA is worth their weight in gold, an undermining one needs to be politely but professionally put in place. You are in charge!

I am in an identical situation to you OP and would really appreciate staying in touch with you about how to move forward. (I even wonder if you’re my job share teacher!?) I have a new job teaching year 1 and I have had many fantastic relationships with all my TAs over the years but this one seems to think she’s running the show, shouting over the top of me, correcting me in front of the children, telling me what she’s doing with her day then proceeding to just go and natter to the other teachers. It’s driving me mad already and I’m dreading the year ahead.
I’m going to start writing down every occasion where she undermines me then do to the head with my list of concerns after a month or so. Really I feel your pain!

I’ve worked as a TA and the teacher is always in charge. I just follow their lead on everything. You need to put her in her place OP, as bad as that sounds.

If she wants to be in charge she needs to complete teacher training.

Who line manages the TAs? You need to talk to them and your job share partner about it. As PP said, don't assume it's all fine with job share. If you haven't asked, you don't know the TA doesn't pull the same line on her!

Dealing with the TA is part of your classroom management, so you really need go be addressing her at the time of incident, not just taking a list to the head. Only do that if your attempts fail.

Have some prepared phrases ready that signal you're speaking and she is to wind her neck in.

Has she a timetable of what you want her to do? If not I'd be handing her a very full one and asking her to keep detailed records of all the tasks you've given her.

Just to echo others statements I wouldn't go to the head about her, provide her with your plans (I'm assuming you have to do these as its primary) with her roles mapped out. If she doesn't actually do what you've asked her too then ask her why at some point relatively soon afterwards. Keep doing this.

Thanks for all your replies- I think that the extraordinary situation we’ve found ourselves in this year certainly hasn’t helped- we’ve both been in, with fewer children so the normal routine has been disrupted. I really do appreciate the responses: Blackbetty, I don’t think you can be my class share, (unless you’re also senco 2 days a week?!) have you spoken to the other teacher about it? The talking to other members of staff when you could be getting on with something is infuriating, isn’t it?! One of our problems is that we’re doing Read write inc and it means the TAs are effectively teachers for an hour a day- so we’ve maybe been a bit lenient in other areas as they’re having to do the same as us. I do appreciate that, but also, she doesn’t need to be so mean!

Jinglebitch. I am on the brink of creating a daily plan for my TA with time slots on the left and where I want her to be/what I want her to be doing at each point.
Hopefully when things go back to normal they’ll be better but it really does take the joy out of your day at work doesn’t it!

That’s a good idea @blackbettybramblejam. Start directing her more and keep a tight rein. It’s hard for TAs in classes with job shares as they have to adapt to two different teachers but, she needs to be clear about your expectations. A communication book can be good. Write in it ‘today, please can you do the following....etc’

Interesting regarding the daily plan. The meanest teacher I ever worked for gave me one and I had to record everything. I’m not overbearing or anything like that. Always do as directed etc. It was awful to feel micromanaged when it was unnecessary as I’m not a piss taker by nature. Sounds like this TA might need one though.

Agree with the fact that you need to be directing her so she simply cnnot go off doing her own thing.
I have also worked as a supply for many years and have encountered many such TA's. If I was there for the day I would simply let it pass, but in your case you need to show her you are running the show.

I am stunned at the behaviour of some TAs I have worked with. Absolutely speechless. And senior management only intervened when there was a serious incident involving a child.

One teacher I spoke to said she would only communicate via email with her TA for an entire year - such was the power games she played.

Why is t anyone raising this at a senior level? Some of these TAs simply don’t want anyone else in charge - they are sabotaging our work and efforts.
I have left the job now. Ridiculous to lose good teachers in place of dysfunctional child Adults.

Yep. Agree with PP.
I will communicate it with my line manager and if nothing improves I will go to the head.

And, just in case there are TAs reading this and thinking why do I bother? - I obviously don't mean the good ones who are invaluable, worth their weight and grossly underpaid for the job they end up doing. I think some teachers have really pulled a fast one on their TAs.

I am just referring to the ones who are problematic.

Who is your line manager and do you have a good relationship with them? They could be a good source of advice and support you to handle it.