Was a being rude to my mentor?

[Laptopuser81]

She mentioned she’s got triplets and she’s very busy.

I had a word with my unions about being unsupported. They explained that the fact my mentor has other responsibilities don’t tie into the fact this training is for my development and if she couldn’t take the responsibility she shouldn’t have. This is because Without discussing anything with me or letting me know I’ve been put on schedule to teach tomorrow. I have no idea how but apparently everyone else was in the loop but me?

I emailed my mentor and told her she said she’s got the triplets, busy with teaching etc etc.

IN an email I then basically said “due to
serious depression and a learning difficulty and OCD. With the combination of these things I have to know things ahead of schedule so that I can prepare myself and that’s why I often ask a lot of questions”. most emails I end up sending a few questions with it

Is this considered rude

Hard to say really but generally as a rule tone in emails is hard to convey and things may look snippy or abrupt or even rude when they are not. So maybe important conversations are better in the flesh or over teams.
Trainees often don't realise that sometimes people are pushed into being a mentor and don't want to be so maybe some give and take from you both might help. You don't get paid any money for doing it remember and although it can be rewarding it takes a hell of a lot of the mentors time.

Although such short notice for you is definitely not on!

It's hard to say without the full email whether it was rude or not. Explaining a reason for something isn't rude in itself but as has already been said, tone is incredibly difficult to convey in an email. It's not on that you didn't know that you were scheduled to teach until the last minute -the mentor should be discussing planning with you in advance.

It sounds to me as though she doesn't have the time to mentor -with her job and her children, she is understandably busy. It may be that mentoring was pushed on her -not your fault but not hers either. I love mentoring (I have an NQT this year) but it does take up a lot of time and really, those askef to mentor need to do so willing and have the capacity to fulfil the role. Otherwise, it's not fair on either party.

Do you have a scheduled mentor meeting slot? If not,try to get this scheduled so that you both know when you are meeting. Are there other colleagues in school who can help with some things? Sometimes, it 'takes a village'.

With all due respect OP, if it's teaching that you are training for, are you sure it's the right profession for you? 'Serious depression, learning difficulties and OCD' in a job with as many pressures that teaching comes with, just doesn't feel like it will go well for you 😢 It's an incredibly stressful job, that requires HUGE amounts of flexibility...you need to be able to change what you're doing in a heartbeat, with sometimes NO notice, let alone a day's notice 🤷‍♀️

And yes, you were rude to your mentor!

@BumbleBeegu well It’s a good job you’re not doing my training then isn’t it and making my decisions for me.

The thing is, Bumble is right. A teacher often has to think on their feet, adapt and change things, and, well, just get on with things.
Children aren't predictable, schools aren't predictable. Sometimes a member of staff is suddenly not there and people adapt. SOmetimes a room gets flooded and people adapt. Not being able to teach when you are told the day before, sounds quite poor.

Are you an NQT or a student ?
Are you being asked to teach one lesson or all day?

Is there a possibility that the e-mail went into your spam, or there was a typo in the address or something ?

Have you got a poor relationship with her, over the time you have been there? As in, is this the culmination of several things, or is your instinct to consult your union rather than giving the preparation of the lesson a go, and potentially surprising yourself by doing it well ?

As others have said, without the whole conversation it is difficult to say if this is rude. It doesn't look friendly, or chatty to me, and certainly looks confrontational, but context is everything.

It’s impossible to know if you were rude or not. Mentoring can take up a huge amount of time and these aren’t normal times right now - most of us just have a lot less capacity than normal because everything is SO full on.

Have you done any actual teaching yet? Was the notice you were given a day or were you not told at all? Things do change a lot and often instantly in teaching so tbh a day’s notice seems pretty reasonable to me, assuming someone was available to talk through expectations / your planning once you had given it a go.

I hope you have managed to resolve things and the rest of your training goes well.