Am I doing badly on placement for this? Anxiety flare

[hello129]

So, as I haven’t met anyone in person due to lockdown. I get some serious social anxiety online. I’ve been sitting in on classes and observing. Today my mic was locked and I didn’t know how to unmute when she said hello. By the time I could unmute my mic all the kids joined.

Then at the end of the call I always get confused about whether to stay or go, I chose to leave when she dismissed everyone as one student wanted to stay behind and I figured it could be a personal conversation he may want to have with the teacher that wasn’t for me to listen to.

I’m nervous I’m messing up. Can anyone reassure me:( this placements a lot harder online and also the school has a lot of behaviour issues with kids in general and this really transcends online too.

You're massively over thinking. I know it's a tough time to start placement, but just try to chill out about it as much as you can!

@SansaSnark thanks! I just over think things. Mainly the staying behind. But I just feel like if a students needs to talk there could be something big and I shouldn’t be there

Have you posted about this before? If so, you really need to, in the gentlest way, get a grip.

You need to have a meeting online with the teacher of the class, where you can introduce yourselves properly. Im amazed your school haven't done this for you! It's totally unfair that you have had to start online without meeting anybody virtually. I'm the ITT coordinator at my school and I've ensured that all trainees have online training and will get to "meet" their mentor.

You need to email the teacher and let them know it would be useful to discuss etiquette online. That is the only way to help your nerves really.

I've just looked at your other threads. I think you need to give the school a kick up the bum and make it known you need support. Meeting a mentor via email isn't acceptable, they should be offering more than this.

@EyeRoll2021 in the gentlest way, anxiety doesn’t really work like that. I imagine if all things were simple to kick away no one would have to deal with anxiety. It is what it is and I’m just using a forum for support.

And secondly, yeah I don’t know if it’s my place to be saying. If by next week there’s no sign of online meetings I think I’ll take it up with my uni and ask how to proceed. My main aim is to just pass this and get out as the school has some questionable behaviour problems and SLT. They insist on having me email over what I’ve learnt, not only that but they give me an area to study closely.

In my last placement I made my own notes and then would meet (prior to lockdown) physically with my mentor to talk about how the weeks going.

I feel kinda like I have no direction in this placement at all.

I appreciate that anxiety is difficult, I am myself in citalopram for it. But in your situation it looks like you are going to receive no help from your school. So, you are going to have to take the bull by the horns unfortunately.

Don't leave it until next week. Email your mentor tonight and say that you are finding it tricky. Their job is to help you. You can be open and honest without being confrontational. They are probably wrapped up in their own issues and haven't even thought about it. Ask for a meeting time that would suit them, write out your concerns. Then email your uni and let them know. Forward them a copy of the email you sent your mentor.

It's hard at the moment however it is the School's job to support you. Don't be afraid of asking for help. You absolutely need to just get through the placement but you must log your concerns with them and your provider. To cover yourself ultimately.

Sorry you are having such a rubbish experience!

Good luck!!

@EyeRoll2021 thanks for the detailed support! In a quick summary what should they be doing in terms of mentee support?

I expect mentors to design your timetable, have weekly mentor meetings, do planned observations of your lessons, provide feedback and complete the reports that have to go to your provider. I am expecting all of those things to happen even during lockdown but they will have to be adjusted. Ultimately your mentor will have to write your report so they should be in close contact with you.

This isn't just a high expectation from me- it's what the providers ask a school to agree to. I haven't worked directly with all providers so it's worth checking with yours and asking the question too.

Hope that helps!