How to deal with a negative nellie
Bobbiepin · 11/09/2020 18:28
I started a new job this September and my line manager (who is also new) is so negative. I'm the sort of teacher who just gets on with stuff - path of least resistance sort of thing but she complains about everything. Its repetitive, unnecessary and really disrespectful to our colleagues (including other people she manages).
A selection of the complaints include:
Team member isn't working well and she needs to give him more guidance.
SLT expect her to be doing learning walks to make sure new staff are settling in.
She got pulled up on not social distancing and then again for not controlling the amount of people in our office.
We were asked to get the kids to stick a certain sheet in their books.
I've tried keeping my head down and getting on with my stuff but I can't concentrate in the office with her constantly moaning, or asking endless questions about things that were clearly covered in training. She's giving me the rage! What do I do?!
CraftyGin · 11/09/2020 18:57
That sounds really draining.
I would be inclined to offer solutions which would only make matters worse!
I think you have to have a laugh about it - initially to your DH.
Bobbiepin · 11/09/2020 19:14
Initially I was inclined to brush it off but it's so draining. Mostly because it's always about things that are really not moan-worthy. I'm happy to listen to someone bitch about something genuinely annoying but this is like.... shut up and do your job!
Bobbiepin · 11/09/2020 21:52
Any ideas? Bump
sparklesandglitter · 11/09/2020 22:19
I worked with somebody like that, she left in July to be a HOD, do don't teach MFL do you? She complained about everything and took great delight when things when wrong for the school/staff. I just tried to avoid her!
Bobbiepin · 12/09/2020 07:50
No not MFL @sparklesandglitter but it sounds as though those two would get along!
skylarkdescending · 12/09/2020 09:00
A few stock phrases might help:
Oh it doesn't bother me...
Oh really? I'm ok with that...
Yes well we'll just get on with it won't we...
Hmmm never mind...
Just act really disinterested, don't engage with her, carry on with your work. Can you wear headphones while you're in the office with her? Might break the constant moaning.
Otherwise kill her with positivity - oh I love doing that! Sounds great, I think it's a good idea. What a great way to improve learning...
ValancyRedfern · 12/09/2020 10:35
I can be a bit of a negative Nellie myself, especially at the moment. My very calm and composed NQT said 'well it is what it is' when I was moaning about having to teach in classrooms (practical subject). It shut me up!
LolaSmiles · 12/09/2020 10:46
It sounds like they're hoping you'll get drawn into the moaning.
A disinterested approach is best, possibly with a few suggestions where there's an easy solution.
Negative Nellie: 'we have to get yet another sheet stuck in the books'
You: 'I found it works to get the pupils to do it'.
Then again, I'm not a negative Nellie and having to stick millions of bits of paper in exercise books at the start of the year that nobody looks at other than when they know book scrutiny is coming up is something I really could moan about for days. Seriously, who really needs to lose teaching time to do this shit?
Bobbiepin · 12/09/2020 10:50
@skylarkdescending that's good advice, I'll definitely keep them in my back pocket. I don't work very well with music on but I might wear headphones with nothing playing so I can justify ignoring her!!
@LolaSmiles I totally agree with you, the thing is, they've condensed the million sheets into one. Literally kids stick in one sheet in their books, write their name on the front and we start teaching! It could be SO much worse!
LolaSmiles · 12/09/2020 11:03
Can I come and work at your school. Your negative Nellie doesn't know how lucky she is.
We must have 5 or 6, plus an ever increasing number of departmental sheets through the term that add nothing to teaching and learning, but HoD thinks will prove students are learningjust incase Ofsted visit, even though Ofsted have made it clear they don't want to see these things
Bobbiepin · 12/09/2020 13:03
That's crap. The sheet has class expectations, the literacy code and an exemplar of how books should be set out. We give them sheets of common things in the unit, key terms etc on one sheet once teaching is in full swing but that's it (unless they throw more at us later in the year). It really is nothing to complain about.
MyFeetHurt1 · 12/09/2020 17:18
I absolutely sympathise. My team has several members who are the most draining people on the planet. In my experience they never bloody leave or get better.
My solution was to avoid them. I'm actually enjoying having to run round the school because now I never see them and don't have pressure put on me to be sociable and eat lunch with them. I'm hoping their negative attitudes will be magnified to the point where they finally retire or leave now because of COVID.
Bobbiepin · 12/09/2020 18:57
I'd love to avoid her! Find somewhere else to hide out and work when I'm not teaching. I need to keep a good working relationship with her, she is my line manager after all.
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